


And I'm Home

by yustrology



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Abuse, Slow Burn, akira and ryuji are doing shady stuff, lowkey haru/ryuji on the side, please feed Yusuke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-07-02 00:51:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 51,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15785598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yustrology/pseuds/yustrology
Summary: When you're a young adult, paying your bills can be tough -- doubly if your source of income is painting. Yusuke is trying to make his mark as an artist, but unfortunately the cash flow isn't consistent enough. To avoid the decision of going hungry or being homeless, he makes the begrudging decision to bring in a roommate. Enter Akira Kurusu, who is as mysterious and sassy as he is inspirational and attractive. Is it really feasible to bring Akira in? Or perhaps may Yusuke be biting off more than he can chew?





	1. In Which Yusuke Lets Down His Pride

It had been another dry week. It didn’t matter where Yusuke tried to market himself, nor did it matter how high or how low he priced a piece. The result was always the same. Nothing. Which was fair, he supposed. Art was a luxury, and in the current economic landscape, it was a luxury many could do without. Surely, though, if he could just find a collector or a gallery to sell to, things would be okay...right? He sighed. That was wishful thinking.

A dull hunger pang rumbled in his stomach. Should he rummage through the cupboards to try and find something? It seemed pointless. He knew his search would come up fruitless. Not that he was completely out of food, it was just that all he had were cups of instant noodles and three fourths of a loaf of bread.

“It is better than nothing, I suppose.”

Yusuke dragged his legs to the kitchen and began making himself some instant ramen. If work didn’t pick up soon, he knew that he’d have to bring in a roommate. It was a worst case scenario that he had been dreading. His living space wasn’t small, but it wasn’t exactly big either, and privacy was something Yusuke greatly valued. Also, part of it felt wrong. After all, his home was passed down to him in his late guardian’s will. Would it be wrong to bring someone else in with that in mind? Especially seeing as it would be said late guardian’s room that he’d be essentially auctioning off to the highest bidder.

The beeping of the microwave broke Yusuke’s focus. He grabbed a couple of chopsticks before walking to the microwave and carefully retrieving his cup of noodles. With about as much enthusiasm as a golfing audience, he dug into the noodles. He couldn’t help but frown as he slowly slurped them into his mouth. Yes, they were technically food, and yes, technically he had no problem keeping everything in his humble shack afloat.

“But making a living does not mean you pay your bills and eat sometimes,” he mumbled to himself as he hesitated on another bite. The solution was as clear and obvious as it was unfortunate.

Yusuke needed a roommate.

In addition to the aforementioned dread, Yusuke had a little anxiety about being able to land a roommate. He couldn’t quite afford internet, so he would have to hang advertisements around the city in hopes that someone might see it and reply. There was always the risk that the only applicants could be criminals, prostitutes, or party animals. In other words, lifestyles that Yusuke did not want to get wrapped up in. Still, though. He couldn’t deny that he was out of options.

If there was anything positive about this situation, Yusuke knew that he could create one heck of a roommate advertisement. Both refind and flashy, perfect for catching the eye. There were definitely perks to being an artist. As much as he wanted the extra money, it wasn’t like money was his only motivation. He just wanted to live doing what he loved, and truthfully, there was no greater joy to him than creating art.

Everything would work out. He would be fine. As long as he put effort into his actions, Yusuke knew that someday he would achieve his dream and fulfill his purpose in life.

The first step was to get the roommate situation figured out.

 

* * *

 

 Being a sweltering midsummer day, Yusuke made sure to take to the town as the sun was going down. He knew walking around after dark wasn’t a good idea. Did he care at that particular moment? Not so much. Dressed fairly lightly in a thin blue v-neck and black cargo shorts, he gathered the signs he’d spent most of the afternoon crafting. Carefully, making sure not to rip a single one, he rolled them up into a tube and gently placed them in a shoulder bag.

“Truthfully, the real question is how I will compromise in the event this roommate search fails,” he muttered to himself, heading to the door. He stepped outside, wincing a little at the lingering heat. “Homelessness or starvation. What is it people say? Pick your poison? Very well, I guess.”

Yusuke had strategically mapped out the approximate area of where he would hang the signs up. The first destination was the local college campus. Surely there were students around that needed cheaper housing than what the dorms had to offer. Yusuke counted himself lucky for always having a place to stay. His late guardian was kind in that regard, though not so much others. Negative thoughts about the man were not what Yusuke needed at the moment. He pushed them out of his head. At least he got his current house in the inheritance.

Following the college campus, not too far off was a small ring of businesses. A cafe here and there, a small grocer, a second hand store, and so on. Since these were businesses, Yusuke would have to get permission to hang up his signs. He hoped it wouldn’t be too much of a problem. After all, owning a business meant many hardships, some of said hardships most likely being difficulty making ends meet. They would understand surely. Giving himself a quick pep talk, he headed for a small cafe that was a little hidden out of the way. He had visited this place several times, but never visited. Not that Yusuke often indulged in coffee or tea at a cafe. It was much cheaper to make such things at home.

The sign on the door read “Cafe Leblanc”. It was a simple, yet elegant name. With a deep breath, Yusuke entered the cafe. Immediately his senses were hit by the rich smell of ground coffee beans. There was a hint of something spicy as well that Yusuke couldn’t quite put his finger on. It was very warm and pleasant. Behind the counter, there seemed to be a couple of baristas hard at work. One being an old man who was slaving over a stove. He appeared to be making curry, which would explain the wafting spice in the air. The other was a boy, approximately around Yusuke’s age. He had messy black hair, and his eyes were hidden by the light reflecting off his thick rimmed glasses. He was preparing a cup of coffee.

Both smells were quite divine, and they amplified Yusuke’s hunger. He honestly didn’t think it would be possible to feel hungrier than he already did, but alas Leblanc had done the impossible.

Yusuke didn’t want to walk home in total darkness, so there wasn’t much time to waste. At the same time, though, both of them men seemed busy. They were trying to run a business, and here Yusuke was intruding without the intention of buying anything. Rather, he had his own selfish concerns. He bit his bottom lip. Maybe he should just turn around and leave? After all, how much financial trouble was he really in? With some strategic rationing and a little hard work, he could make it work. Yes, it would be fine. He wouldn’t burden these two people. He would just leave, and--

“Sorry, I’ll be right with you,” the barista said, acknowledging that he knew Yusuke was indeed there. For a split second, Yusuke could have sworn he caught the boy’s eyes through the gleam on his glasses. He walked forward a little, closer to the counter.

“Actually, my intentions were not to order anything. I was curious if I could post an advertisement for a roommate here,” Yusuke explained, reaching into the shoulder bag and pulling out one of his signs.

“Hmm…” was all the barista said before looking over his shoulder to the more elderly man. The latter walked over and stood next to the barista. While Yusuke wasn’t the best at reading expressions, he could tell that there was at least mild irritation on this man’s face. He could feel himself sweating nervously, but kept the composure on his face.

“Well, you can hang out sign outside. Can’t guarantee many people will see it or even be interested. You might have better luck on the internet,” the older man said. That wasn’t what Yusuke wanted to hear. He already knew that.

“I...do not have access to the internet. Money is pretty tight at the moment. My apologies, I did not intend to interfere with your business. Have a nice evening,” Yusuke said, making a swift bow before turning around and heading for the door. He could feel the heavy sting of humiliation welling up inside him. I must have come off like a total idiot.

“Wait…” the younger employee said, coming around the counter to stop Yusuke from leaving. Yusuke had to stop himself from letting out an audible groan. He honestly just wanted to go home, paint his woes, and go to bed. The last thing he needed was someone rubbing his misfortune in his face.

“Yes?” Yusuke answered.

“Give me one of those signs. I might know someone who’s interested,” the barista said, holding his hand out. Yusuke turned back around to look at the other boy. Being out of the direct light, the glare wasn’t on his glasses anymore. Yusuke looked into his eyes, trying to judge what he was really feeling. It was tough, though. The barista’s expression was near unreadable. But still, there was a mysterious beauty in those dull red eyes. There didn’t seem to be any bad intentions behind what he said, and even so, Yusuke wouldn’t be one to pass up a potential solution to his problem. He retrieved the sign from his bag and handed it to the barista. A soft smile cracked at the corners of his lips.

“I would be eternally grateful. My schedule is vacant for the next week or two if your friend wants to set up a time to check the place out and discuss with me,” Yusuke explained. The barista chuckled slightly.

“Your phone isn’t shut off, is it?” he asked. A trace of humor tinged his words.

“Now, now. I can at least afford a basic phone plan. They could even text me if they so pleased.”

“Good to know. Now then,” the barista said, turning around to go back to the counter, “The next time you come in here, at least order a coffee. We’re not rich either.”

Yusuke gave the barista a gentle smirk.

“You have my word.”

With that, the two said their goodbyes, and Yusuke was leaving the cafe. He had a couple more stops to hang his signs before heading home. As nice as the barista was, he wasn’t going to put all his eggs into one basket. There was a certain mysteriousness that Yusuke couldn’t shake about the boy. Nothing about him came off as bad, but also his aura wasn’t inherently innocent either. It was completely neutral.

It had been a long time since anybody intrigued Yusuke as much as the barista did. Dare he say, there was something inspiring about him? Yusuke could create a whole dark, deep backstory and scenario in his head about how this boy ended up grinding coffee grinds for a living. It surely wasn’t a glamorous job, no matter how great the aromas associated with such a job were. It was grueling work. Grueling work that Yusuke wanted no part in.

Yusuke could never picture himself serving other people. At least not after the death of his guardian. His whole life, he lived to serve a man whom he felt eternally indebted to. It lead to a slew of mixed feelings and internal power struggles. It was a very toxic, almost abusive relationship they shared. And even still, Yusuke would catch himself trying to rationalize the whole ordeal. After all, could a man that took him in and even leave his dwelling for Yusuke in his will really be that bad?

Do not start on that. What happened in the past stays in the past. Yusuke had the tendency to get caught up in his head, and it never failed to be both disruptive and counterproductive. What Yusuke needed to focus on was his art. Making a living. Paying the bills. Finding a roommate. Those were far more important and pressing matters to worry about.

Perhaps tomorrow he would go to the park with his easel and some drawing supplies and hope some families might want portraits done. Worst case scenario, if there weren’t any takers, he would at least be in a different element to sketch and draw inspiration from. Often times, he would get so holed up in his room that he would forget there was a whole world out there, full of inspiration and beauty to draw from. Sure the summer heat wasn’t great, but at this point, he was desperate for any inspiration at all to hopefully help him paint the masterpiece that would ignite his career.

It was a pipe dream. A pipe dream that Yusuke was determined to make come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is writing the first chapter always the hardest? Anyway, sorry if this chapter was a little slow! I'm hoping to pick up the pace a little bit with the next chapter. Here's to hoping I don't write myself into a corner. Cheers.


	2. In Which Yusuke Runs Into Luck

To say Yusuke was a nervous wreck following his roommate search would be an understatement. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. After all, of course there’d be little chance of someone contacting him the day after he hung his advertisements around the general vicinity. Perhaps a little unrealistic to think someone would contact him two days, five days, even _a week_ later. However, it was bordering on two weeks since he posted his advertisements, and Yusuke’s cupboards were growing more and more vacant.

 He had managed to sketch a few portraits at the park here and there. That netted him enough for a grocery trip and an unfortunate sunburn. Any money left over, he socked away for utility bills. Or rather that was the plan. He did have an admittedly bad habit of spending his money on objects he finds aesthetically pleasing.

 At the very least, the fear of eternal starvation kicked his butt into gear. He set aside his perfectionism and managed to complete a painting. Sure, there weren’t any immediate takers. However, he had poured all his anxiety and frustration into the piece, and he was quite happy with how it came out. Dark and moody. If Yusuke could sum his current state up in a painting, this would be it.

 Yusuke had managed to build up a small collection of paintings. They were paintings he intended to sell, but unfortunately there was no practical way of him advertising. If he could just afford internet, he could set up an online gallery. He could build an audience on social media. Then he could at least make money through commissions. He hated how much money tainted his intentions for creating art. He wanted to paint for him, but there were also priorities he needed to tend to.

Ultimately, Yusuke sighed and put his finished painting with the rest of his collection. Maybe someday he’d be able to feature all his works in a gallery. Having a chance to share his art and discuss with with like minded art fanatics...he could only imagine how amazing that would be.

With that done and out of the way, Yusuke grabbed his drawing supplies. Sunburn be damned, he couldn’t deny that some extra cash would benefit him. As he approached the door, almost with perfect timing, his phone started ringing. He didn’t want to get his hopes up that someone might actually be interested in being his roommate. It was probably just a spam call. Even still…

Yusuke put what he was carrying down on the floor and grabbed his phone. Nervous hesitation shook at his fingertips. He swallowed hard as a single bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. He hoped and prayed that this was the saving grace he needed. He released a sigh and went to swipe the answer button.

And right as he tried to do such, his phone stopped ringing and it showed up as a missed call. His eyes widened as he started to panic even more. Would it be weird to call back? That would probably sound desperate. Maybe they would leave a voicemail? Unlikely, he figured. After all, they probably would just assume they got the wrong number, or that he’d already found someone. He would have to call them back. It was his only hope.

But before he could do that, the phone started ringing again. Same number. There was no time to hesitate this time. This was his only shot.

“If you so happen to be a robocall, you will rue the day…” he muttered. He finally answered it and cradled the phone next to his ear. “Hello?”

“Oh! Hey! Sorry if this is a bad time or whatever...were you still looking for a roommate?” a male voice asked.

Yusuke was silent. He was processing what he just heard. Someone was...interested? This was so fortunate, it was almost too good to be true. For some reason, Yusuke was having a hard time forming an intelligent reply. He stuttered a couple “ums” and “uhs”.

“Ahh I must have the wrong number. Sorry for disturbing you,” the voice said. Yusuke gasped, shaking his head.

“No! Wait! You have the right number. I was just...distracted I suppose. Anyway, yes. I do happen to still be in need of a cohabitant,” Yusuke explained, trying to regain his composure. He could hear laughter on the other side of the line. He frowned slightly, eyebrows furrowing. There was nothing funny about this situation.

“You don’t need to be so formal. Anyway, you got anything going on tonight? I know it’s sudden, but I’d really like to check out this place A.S.A.P.”

Would it sound desperate if Yusuke agreed to that? Was he really in a position to worry about coming off any particular way? Yusuke cleared his throat.

“I see no issue in that. How does 5 pm sound?” Yusuke asked.

“I can do 5. Just text me the address, and we’ll consider it a date,” the voice said, a bit more laughter following. This was so relieving. Yusuke could hardly believe what he was hearing.

The two wrapped up their call, confirming the meeting time. Immediately after hanging up, Yusuke was sure to text over his address as well as a description of his abode. That pretty much scrapped any plans Yusuke had of doing portraits in the park. He needed to use what time he had to tidy the place up. It was already bad enough that his dwelling looked run down from the outside, so making a good impression on the inside was crucial.

Yusuke dragged out his broom, mop, bucket, and dust pan. That and a few garbage bags would be his tools. If he thought of it like creating art, it made the task of cleaning much more bearable.

“This place will look so pristine that it could be photographed for a home improvement magazine.”

Or at least something along those lines.

 

* * *

 

Running off adrenaline and a few sticks of pocky, Yusuke had managed to clean his atelier with some time to spare. He wiped some sweat off his brow and took a step back to admire his work. There were some aspects that couldn’t be helped such as typical wear and tear that you would expect in an old shack. It wasn’t like Yusuke ever had the money for renovations. Supposedly neither did his guardian, though Yusuke had discovered that his guardian was pretty good at twisting the truth. That aside, what was present would have to do.

Everything else was immaculate. The placement of decor, his organizational skills...he was quite impressed with himself. He was so used to living in what could only be described as organized chaos that it felt new. Fresh. Inspiring.

“He should be here in fifteen minutes. Truly, that leaves me with time to boil water for some tea,” Yusuke mumbled. He headed for the kitchen. He tried not to obsess over whether or not his guest even liked tea. After all, the hospitality and thought was more so what mattered than what beverage Yusuke was serving, right?

Yusuke grabbed the kettle from the top shelf. It had been a long time since he indulged in something like tea. Usually it was water from the tap. He smiled softly. It was a special occasion, so it was okay to break into the matcha. Yusuke carried the kettle over to the sink and filled it with an adequate amount of water. Next, he placed the kettle on a burner. While he waited for the water to heat up -- or for his guest to arrive, whichever came first --, he opened a different cupboard and pulled out a small, sealed container of matcha powder.

Right as he set the container on the counter, he heard rapping on the door. He craned his head to look at the kitchen clock. _Fascinating. It would seem that he’s early._ This was the moment of truth. He had to admit, he was pretty nervous. Yusuke never prided himself on his social skills. In fact, if he had to pick his worst flaw, making a less than adequate impression on ninety-nine percent of the people he met was a high contender.

Hesitation earned another couple of knocks on his door. He snapped out of running mental laps and left the kitchen, turned down a hallway, ending himself up in the front room. He took a deep breath before finally reaching for the doorknob. Eyes shut, he slowly opened the door. Once it was wide open, he opened one eye to look at his guest. He was definitely not prepared for who was standing on the other side.

“Yo,” said the boy. Messy black hair and oddly reflective glasses that gave way to mysterious dull red eyes. It was the barista from Leblanc. Yusuke blinked a couple of times.

“We...have met already,” was all Yusuke could say. The barista gave him a confused look before finally laughing. Yusuke could feel his face getting red from embarrassment. _Great going. No doubt, I have already messed this up._

“I’m aware. Surprised? I know I said a friend was looking for a place, but that friend was actually me,” the other boy explained, twisting one of the subtle curls in his hair. “For all I knew, if I told you I was the one looking, you’d come back to Leblanc to pester me. I couldn’t have that.”

“I can assure you, I would never pester anyone to live with me. It is merely just an offer, that’s all,” Yusuke clarified. It seemed the more he tried to explain himself, the more laughter he earned from the evidently sassy barista.

“Hey, lighten up. If we’re gonna be roomies, you’ll have to get used to my humor. Speaking of, could I please get an inside look at this place?”

Yusuke realized they were still talking in the doorway. He cleared his throat and stepped aside, clearing and opening. “Of course. Where are my manners? Feel free to look to your heart’s content.”

With that, the barista let himself inside. The light was once again reflecting off his glasses, but his lips were curved into a curious smile as he made his way through. Yusuke shut the door behind him and followed the other boy around.

“Oh hey, by the way. There’s no smooth way to ask, so I’ll be blunt. What’s your name, anyway?” the barista asked. Yusuke paused. That’s right. Names were never exchanged.

“Right. I never did formally introduce myself. My name is Yusuke Kitagawa,” he said, extending his arm for a handshake. The barista smiled, returning the sentiment.

“Kitagawa, huh? I’m Akira Kurusu. Nice to officially meet you.”

It was nice to finally have a name to the face. He managed to ease his guard a bit and attempt to be more casual around Akira. Yusuke took the lead and led Akira down the hallway. They passed the kitchen and living area. Yusuke would show him that last. There was an upper level to the home, which is where the bedrooms were anyway. Yusuke started up the stairs. They were creaky, and Akira visibly cringed at this fact.

“These aren’t gonna break underneath me, right?” Akira asked, this time no obvious sound of sarcasm in his voice. Yusuke chuckled at the sincerity in his possible roommate’s worry.

“They are surprisingly sturdy. I’ve taken a tumble down them on more than one occasion in my lifetime, and they actually held up better than my body,” Yusuke explained.

“Any gnarly broken bones from that?”

“Not at all. I got a concussion once. Oh, and I have sprained my wrist a couple of times catching myself. Both times were highly inconvenient. Otherwise, my other injuries were just bloody noses and bruises.”

“I see. Well, I wasn’t asking for a serious answer, but that’s good to know! I’m kinda concerned that you might be a big klutz, though,” Akira teased. Yusuke opened the door to the first room on the second floor, which was the master bathroom. He looked at Akira with a cocked eyebrow.

“Klutz isn’t accurate. Typically if I trip or fall, it comes out of exhaustion.”

“So you overwork yourself a lot?”

“Is that a problem?”

Akira shrugged and turned his gaze to the bathroom. “It just makes me wonder why you have trouble paying your bills if you work so much.”

That was a response that would be hard to explain. Yusuke didn’t want it to look like rooming with him would be a risky venture. He bit his lip, wondering if explaining that he was an artist would be a good idea or not. Then again, the thought of lying at all was just deplorable. Something Yusuke definitely couldn’t do.

“It is...just the sacrifice of being an artist. I have no guarantee of high income, but working as hard as I can to produce pieces raises the chance of being paid for my work.”

There was brief silence between the two of them. Yusuke was worried that he had blown his chance. He couldn’t tell what Akira was thinking, if any gears in his head were turning. Yusuke opened his mouth to attempt to clarify and salvage whatever chance he had of Akira rooming with him, but the latter beat him to it.

“I didn’t know you were a masochist,” Akira said. He gave Yusuke a pat on the back and walked further into the bathroom. He checked out his reflection in the mirror and adjusted his hair. All the while, Yusuke had to process what Akira had just said. Out of all the responses he expected, that certainly was not one of them.

“Masochist? That’s absurd. I make money doing what I love,” Yusuke insisted. Akira had moved onto the tub. He didn’t turn back to look at Yusuke. He didn’t have to for Yusuke to know that Akira probably had an amused smirk. Was this more teasing?

“Just don’t burn yourself out, y’know? I have no idea how being a professional artist works, but if you’re serious, you should host a private gallery or something,” Akira said. He turned around to finally look at Yusuke. He had what felt like an encouraging smile on his face. Yusuke looked down.

“I have my doubts that anyone would show up. After all, I’m essentially a no name,” Yusuke admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

“With that attitude, you’ll never be more than that.”

Yusuke’s eyes darted back up. Though blunt, Akira’s words pierced Yusuke’s heart. It was true that Yusuke had a tendency to get caught up in his head, and his perfectionist attitude often caused him to get down on himself. However, he hadn’t given up on himself completely, had he? Yusuke was talented. He knew he was talented. And it wasn’t like his artwork hadn’t been able to drive in revenue before. Though he had to admit, his passion had been lacking as of late.

“This bathroom is nice and all, but I’d kinda like to see more of the house if that’s okay,” Akira said, breaking Yusuke out of his internal tangent. Yusuke gave him a nod and led him out of the bathroom and down to the next room. He opened the door, revealing a small art studio. It was a little cluttered, with stools and an easel or two strewn about. Art supplies were spread out on shelves and window sills. Akira blinked a couple of times, a little surprised at how hectic it looked compared to what he’d seen of the rest of the shack.

“This room is my art studio. I suppose it doesn’t really apply to you, but just for future reference, I spend much of my time in here,” Yusuke explained.

“Wow, you really are serious about this art thing, aren’t you?” Akira asked. Yusuke chuckled.

“Truly. Ever since I was a child, it has been my sole goal in life.”

“That’s pretty cool. You’ll succeed. Just own your talent and put yourself out there,” Akira assured. As much as Akira really didn’t know about the art world, if there was one thing Yusuke had to hand to him, he was a good motivational speaker.

“I appreciate your support. Now then, let me show you the next room. It will be your living quarters,” Yusuke said, closing the door and moving on. Akira followed him, curious to see what was in store for him.

Yusuke stopped in front of the door. It felt weird to open it. _Madarame...please don’t strike me down for this._ It was his guardian’s old bedroom. Of course, following his death, Yusuke had gone through and cleared the room out. Dividing the belongings into what he would keep, what he would donate, and what would be used for his tribute memorial. The death of Madarame was something Yusuke still felt very conflicted about. As much as he held negative reservations against the man for the things he had done to Yusuke over the years, Yusuke still felt like he was dishonoring the man’s memory by giving his room up.

“Here goes. I...hope you find it to your liking,” Yusuke said, opening the door. He walked in, Akira following after. It was as drafty as the rest of the house, but it was quite spacious at the same time. Akira couldn’t say he was disappointed.

“Daaang, I don’t even have to provide my own bed? That’s pretty sweet,” Akira said, playfully punching Yusuke’s arm.

“As long as you don’t mind that the bed has been well used. Certainly, there was no way I could afford a brand new bed.”

“That doesn’t bother me. It looks comfy enough. And it’s pretty roomy. Not bad, I gotta say.”

Akira took a few more moments to look around the room. As he made his rounds, checking out everything like the bed and the closet, Yusuke breathed a small sigh of relief. This meeting seemed to be going well, and while he didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, he had a good feeling that Akira would decide to move in. Sure there were other problems that he had to consider, like if there would be any cohabitation issues, but that was an issue that could be approached later down the line. For now, Yusuke was just glad that things might finally be working out for him.

After Akira was done looking at the room, Yusuke led him out. The only other rooms on the top floor were Yusuke’s bedroom, which he only let Akira see briefly, and Madarame’s old studio. For the most part, it now only had Yusuke’s extra supplies and scrapped canvases. It was kind of just a storage room at this point, so Yusuke advised Akira to use it as such. With the top floor said and done, it was time to move onto the bottom floor. Back down the creaky stairs, which Akira of course had to poke fun at again, the first door was yet another bathroom. This one smaller, as it only had a toilet and a sink. Across from that was a small storage closet. Nothing too big, just enough to put some coats and shoes in.

Finally, that took them back to the kitchen and living area. It was nothing too special or fancy. The living space had worn couch, a scuffed up coffee table, and a basic standard definition TV. Along an adjacent wall was a bookshelf that was full of artbooks and art history books. And finally, on the walls, there were paintings. Akira was curious if any of them were Yusuke’s. Would that be an appropriate question to ask? He just shrugged it off.

“So, this is essentially what’s left of the house. Despite being the living room, I do not spend a lot of time down here,” Yusuke said.

“I can tell. Your living room needs CPR,” Akira replied, deadpan sarcasm dripping off his words. Yusuke chuckled. He had been expecting a response akin to that from Akira.

While Akira continued checking out the living room in mild disbelief, Yusuke snuck into the kitchen. He figured that by now, they’d definitely hear the kettle go off. He hoped that there wasn’t a mess of boiled over water all over his stove. Upon examination, it was completely dry. However, there was no steam coming off of the kettle at all. No indication that it was hot.

“Strange…”

“What’s strange?” Akira asked. Yusuke jumped a little. He hadn’t realized Akira had followed him into the kitchen. Yusuke took a deep breath and turned around.

“I think my stove might be broken. The water hasn’t heated up at all,” Yusuke explained. Akira adjusted his glasses and squinted at the stovetop. He leaned over and turned one of the heat control knobs.

“You see, it helps if you actually turn the burner on,” Akira said with a smirk. The blush on Yusuke’s face was returning quickly. How did he not realize that? What a silly mistake to make.

“Um...thank you for your brilliant tech support, Kurusu.”

“Yeah. No problem,” Akira laughed, “Also, don’t be so formal. Akira’s fine.”

“Very well. In that case, you can call me by my first name too.”

“Already planned on it, Yusuke. Anyway, while that water boils, I think I’m gonna test out the toilet,” Akira said, turning away. Yusuke quirked a brow in confusion.

“I can assure you all the plumbing is up to code,” Yusuke said, hoping that wasn’t a jab at his house. Akira stopped in his tracks and sighed.

“I’m taking a piss, Yusuke. But if you really don’t want me to flush my pee, I guess I’ll leave it there for you--”

“No no! That’s fine! I simply misunderstood. Forget I said anything. Go...do what you need to do…”

Akira walked away, trying not to laugh at how easily flustered Yusuke was. Meanwhile Yusuke’s face was bright red. He leaned back against the counter and hung his head. If there was one thing he had to admit, at least with Akira around, he’d likely never be bored. He wasn’t sure how much teasing he could actually take, though. It wasn’t something he was used to.

Yusuke caught glimpse of his ramen supply. Then again, he supposed Akira’s low-key brashness was something he could endure to have to never eat a ramen only diet again.

It would all be worth it in the end. And Akira wasn’t unpleasant to be around. Yusuke would be fine. There was nothing he had ever been simultaneously more sure yet also unsure about in his life. Other than maybe participating in his guardian’s shady business practices. But that was beside the point.

Akira intrigued Yusuke. He was quite the anomaly, and oddly enough, it just made Yusuke want to learn more about him. That alone was enough to calm any anxiety he had about this situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll probably be a week or so until the next chapter. I had most of chapter two done while I was waiting for the ao3 invite email, so don't mistake this update as me being highly productive. Anyway, I hope this chapter was a little more interesting than the last one! It's so hard not to rush the beginning and just jump into the plot and the angst :'D but yeah! Thanks for reading, y'all


	3. In Which Akira Moves In

It hadn’t been a very long discussion. Over tea, Akira drilled Yusuke with various questions about his house. Yusuke wasn’t even sure if half of these questions were serious or just to get a rise out of him, but he answered truthfully. There were some details he wanted to keep vague, such as why he had a vacant room in the first place. All he specified was that he didn’t have any previous roommates, which made Akira a little suspicious, but he decided not to press the matter further. Yusuke would have liked to ask Akira more questions, but he was concerned about potentially scaring the spectacled man off.

After all was said and done, Akira had decided to move in with Yusuke. That was unexpected. While things were going well, Yusuke thought he would need a few days to decide. Still, he accepted this and rejoiced mentally. Truly, things were looking up.

There was just one hang up Yusuke had…

“Oh, by the way…” Akira said, as he was heading out the door post their meeting, “How do you feel about cats?”

“...Why.”

Yusuke had phrased that as more of a statement than a question. His eyelids narrowed into a squint, as he wasn’t sure how he felt about this.

“Why else? I have a cat.”

There was hesitation as Yusuke thought about this. He didn’t hate cats. However, he was a little apprehensive about the prospect of ending up having to take care of said cat himself assuming Akira wasn’t responsible enough. Not that Akira gave off an unreliable vibe at all, but he felt like there was a catch to this situation. Why else would Akira save it until literally the end of their meeting?

“If you clean up after it, I don’t suppose that would be a problem. The litter box stays in your room, though,” Yusuke reasoned. Akira gave him a thumbs up, as well as his signature smirk.

“That won’t be a problem. Morgana does his business outside. We just need to keep a window open.”

That was both perfect and terrible at the same time. Yusuke liked the prospect of no litter boxes in his home, but he winced at all the bugs that would surely fly in through an open window. Still, though, he wasn’t in a position to negotiate. He needed the financial assistance.

“Very well. I’ll trust you on this. Anything else you should tell me?” Yusuke pried. Akira rubbed the back of his neck.

“Not really. I mean, I may be in and out during any parts of the day or night. I work kinda odd hours, but I’ll be sure to keep the noise down for you,” he explained. Yusuke quirked an eyebrow.

“Night? Leblanc isn’t open 24 hours a day, is it?”

“Leblanc is more of a volunteer kinda thing...the owner is like family to me, so sometimes when I have time, I go in and help him out in exchange for his awesome curry,” Akira explained.

“And the other job?”

“That’s a secret!” Akira answered with a wink. Yusuke sighed. He supposed there wasn’t much point to continue hounding Akira with questions. As long as Akira wasn’t wrapped up into any illegal activity that Yusuke could get dragged into, what did it matter how he made his money? Yusuke waved Akira off.

“I’ve no more questions to ask. I’ll let you be on your way now,” Yusuke said. His soon to be new roommate gave him a friendly smile, stepping outside of the door.

“Nice. I’ll be in touch. Hopefully I’ll be able to move by next week. Just gotta wrap up some other obligations.”

“That’s fair. Let me know when you’re ready so I can prepare.”

With that, Akira finally left Yusuke’s house. Yusuke exhaled. It had felt like he was holding in a breath the majority of the meeting. Perhaps at the anxiety of scaring Akira off? Luckily the opposite had happened. Assuming Akira wasn’t about to essentially ghost him, he had succeeded in his self-imposed mission.

Yusuke began cleaning off the coffee table. They had barely even touched the tea he went through the effort of preparing, and he was fine with this fact. Normally he would be appalled at the very idea of wasting food or drink. And it didn’t matter how much money he had to spare, he still hated the thought. There was nothing but positivity in mind.

“Akira...he’s going to be a part of my daily life, it seems,” Yusuke muttered to himself, taking the dishes to the sink. He turned the faucet on and started cleaning everything. There was thoughtfulness in his actions. He had to admit, some company would be nice. Especially following the passing of Madarame. Once he graduated high school, he hadn’t really socialized much. Even so, when he was in high school, he still didn’t socialize beyond the bare minimum. He was too busy painting, and Madarame had always told him friends were a waste of time; that they would take advantage of Yusuke and distract him from achieving his goals. He didn’t even realize the loneliness slowly overcoming him, and how dark his world had become during that time. He also didn’t realize that he’d completely stopped washing the tea set. He was just standing at the sink, water running as he stood still, starting to get caught up in a mental marathon, intrusive memories of his past running through his head.

Usually he had better self control. He was good at stopping the thoughts as they came. He had neglected to do that this time, and the memories came through like a flood gate had opened.

Before Yusuke knew it, half an hour had passed, and the only thing breaking him out of his own mind was the realization of how high his water bill was going to be at this rate.

 

* * *

 

Stepping into Leblanc, the bell on the door rang as Akira walked in. He went over to the counter and sat on a stool. He leaned over the top, and rested his head on his hand. He looked over to the owner of the cafe, Sojiro, who instantly started brewing a cup of coffee for Akira. Words of gratitude didn’t need to be expressed. They’d known each other long enough to pick up on each others’ vibes.

“Ryuji was in here earlier. He was looking for you. Probably should have told him you wouldn’t be home. You know he likes to just drop in,” Sojiro said, breaking the silence. Akira didn’t look too concerned with what the older man told him. He just shrugged.

“It’s his fault for coming by unannounced. He’ll learn the hard way,” Akira replied, taking out his phone. He opened his messenger app and started typing out a message to the aforementioned Ryuji with the intent of teasing him for his failed visit.

“Perhaps. Sounded like it was an urgent matter, though. I think he was in a hurry,” Sojiro explained, finishing up the coffee he had started preparing. Akira’s fingers froze before he sent the message to his friend. Immediately he started erasing what he had written, and opted for calling his friend instead.

“Sorry to be in and out like this, but I need that coffee to go,” Akira said. He pressed the phone icon next to Ryuji’s name and held the phone close to his ear. Sojiro sighed, turning around and grabbing a styrofoam cup for Akira.

“All these years, and I _still_ can’t figure you out sometimes. Just don’t stay out too late. You’ve been doing that a lot lately,” the elder stated, pouring the coffee into the styrofoam cup. He didn’t put any cream or sugar in it. He just put the lid on and slid it towards Akira, of whom gave him a quick nod and mouthed a “thank you” before grabbing the cup and heading off.

Akira was scared the call would go straight to voicemail. If Ryuji didn’t pick up, Akira could only imagine why, given the reason why he likely dropped in. The relief that washed over him when he finally heard his friend’s voice over him was intense.

“Yo. Where’ve you been?” Ryuji asked.

“Checking out that house. The...I guess, owner? He’s a little odd, but I think it’s the perfect place for me to lay low for a while,” Akira explained, walking towards the station.

“For real? That’s one problem off our back then.”

“And the other? Sojiro told me you came to the cafe in a frenzy. What happened?” Akira heard a heavy sigh on the other side.

“Mishima’s got another job for us, and it’s a risky one. We have to meet up with him later tonight to discuss,” Ryuji explained. That’s definitely not what Akira wanted to hear, but it wasn’t quite as dire as he had originally thought. Akira stopped outside of the station and looked around, making sure there wasn’t anyone following him.

“Alright. Meet me in Shibuya. Our regular spot. I’m already on my way there, so we can discuss the matter further when I arrive.”

“Sounds like a plan, my man. Get here safe, alright?” Ryuji said. Akira smirked, walking through the doors of the station.

“Who do you think you’re talking to?”

The two ended their conversation after that. Making sure to blend in as usual, Akira navigated his way downstairs to the subway. There was begrudging haste in his steps, as he really... _really_...was not looking forward to this.

 

* * *

 

Over the following week since their meeting, Yusuke hadn't heard much from Akira. They exchanged a few texts, most of which were Yusuke asking for updates and getting vague responses. It was stressful for the artist. Akira seemed like a pretty dependable guy, so surely if he was going to back out of the offer, he would at least give Yusuke some kind of notice...right?

It was safe to say that Yusuke hadn't gotten much work done on the painting front. How could he? Any time he tried, his mind would drift back to the current enigma. He stared at his canvas. Blank, white. It mocked him. With a huff, Yusuke set his paintbrushes down. He stepped away from his easel, opting to sit on a stool to the side of the room. He took his phone out of his pocket, hoping to see a new message or missed call from Akira. Telling him something, anything at all about where they currently stood. Of course, there wasn’t anything new. Yusuke shook his head, mildly annoyed at the radio silence. He knew it wasn’t good to nag, but in this situation, Yusuke couldn’t tolerate not knowing what was up.

 

**[text: To Akira] Forgive my urgency. I haven’t received any updates for a few days. Is everything alright?**

 

Yusuke hoped that was civil enough. While he was indeed somewhat agitated, he didn’t want to express that to Akira. He wanted to keep everything as friendly as possible. With a sigh, Yusuke put his phone down. He doubted he would get a response right away. He glanced over to his easel and winced a little. He also doubted he would be able to paint anything decent given his current distraction. Yusuke hated wasting time. If he wasn't being productive, he felt like he was doing something wrong. After all, that's how he was raised to feel.

Yusuke nearly jumped when his notification tone went off. He immediately grabbed his phone and looked to see what it was. Low and behold it was Akira. Yusuke’s heart was beating a little more than he would have liked to admit. He hoped it wasn't the other boy chewing him out for his impatience. He unlocked his phone and opened the message.

 

**[text: From Akira] heyy sorry for being quiet. been busy with work. anyway, i can do it this sunday if ur not busy!**

 

Despite Yusuke being a little bothered by Akira’s text slang, it was music to Yusuke’s ears. Now he could rest easy and get back to painting. Akira hadn't lied to him yet, so Yusuke took his word for it. He sent Akira a reply, confirming the plan. With a lighter heart, Yusuke walked back over to his easel. The quick exchange didn't give him new ideas, but he was able to pick up his paintbrush and apply paint as what felt like a hidden muse guided his hands accordingly.

The days flew by. Yusuke didn't need to do much to prepare for Akira’s move. After all, any of the rooms Akira would be granted common access to were already pretty clean. All he really needed to do was vacuum the floors and dust the surfaces. While he was still partially excited, there was still a general sense of unease that Yusuke just couldn’t shake. He couldn’t place his finger on the cause. Part of it was fighting though the feeling that he might be disrespecting his late sensei and guardian, and no matter how many times he told himself that Madarame’s memory didn’t deserve his concern, Yusuke still felt pangs of guilt. There was also the fact that he had been living by himself in the year following Madarame’s passing, and he wasn’t sure if he could actually cohabitate with someone that wasn’t already used to his _eccentricities_.

After all, it was a bit much for some of Madarame’s previous pupils.

_But now was not the time to think of such unproductive, self destructive thoughts._

When the day finally came, much to Yusuke’s relief, Akira had contacted him first. It was nice to not have to metaphorically chase the other man down just to make sure their deal was still on.

In fact, even more shocking, Akira had shown up early. A half hour before Akira had promised to show up, Yusuke could hear muffled chattering outside the front door. It was a little peculiar, but considering Yusuke had a habit of talking to himself, he thought nothing of it. Knocks on the door followed, and Yusuke answered it. Quickly, it revealed the source of the chattering. Next to Akira was a rough looking blonde -- with bad posture, Yusuke noted -- holding a box, presumably of Akira’s belongings.

“Hey, _roomie_ ,” Akira said with a wink, “I hope you don’t mind, but I brought a friend to help me carry stuff. This is Ryuji.”

“Yo,” Ryuji said, flashing Yusuke a friendly smile. Yusuke reached out to shake the stranger’s hand, but awkwardly retracted it once he remembered that both of Ryuji’s hands were full. He simply stepped to the side, allowing the duo in.

“I suppose now would be the appropriate time to say ‘Make yourself at home,’” Yusuke said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Akira, dude...this place is draftier than Leblanc’s attic,” Ryuji said, looking around curiously. Yusuke quirked an eyebrow, partially in annoyance and partially in shock. Akira turned his head to catch Yusuke’s facial expression and let out a chuckle.

“Don’t mind Ryuji. He’s got no filter,” Akira said, heading upstairs with his stuff. Ryuji huffed in annoyance, following the former up.

“And what’s that s’pposed to mean?”

“You tell me.”

The banter continued between them as they walked up to the next floor. Yusuke closed the front door and hesitantly made his way up as well. If his confliction wasn’t strong before, it sure was now. He hoped that this Ryuji wouldn’t be a frequent visitor. Otherwise, he would never get any peace and quiet.

Yusuke made his way over to Madarame-- no, _Akira’s_ room. He poked his head inside to see Akira and Ryuji setting some boxes and bags down. Among the luggage was a cardboard box with circular holes around the top. It was wiggling a little, and Yusuke could hear faint scratching. No doubt, this was the cat Akira had warned him about. His breath caught in his throat. He didn’t dislike cats. However, something about this whole situation wasn’t sitting right in his gut. Perhaps he was just over thinking things. It wouldn't be the first time he was being irrational, that was certain.

“Anything I could help with?” Yusuke asked, trying to maintain the light and friendly atmosphere. Akira walked past him and out the door, heading for the stairs.

“Come help me lift my TV,” the shorter boy called over his shoulder. Yusuke looked at his noodle arms. His gaze drifted to Ryuji, who definitely looked better built for heavy lifting. He sighed a little, deciding not to argue.

“Of course,” Yusuke surrendered, following Akira out. Outside, there was a car parked in front of Yusuke’s house.

“Hmm. How many trips do you need to make to get all of your stuff?” Yusuke asked out of curiosity.

“Just this one. What you see is what I have,” Akira answered. He opened the trunk of the car, where a TV not quite the size Yusuke had expected was sitting. Yusuke walked over to the other side of the trunk. The two of them each grabbed one side of the TV and lifted up and out. It wasn’t light, but it sure wasn’t heavy. The two of them handling it together made it manageable. Yusuke smiled softly as he and Akira carefully made their way back inside the house.

“How humble. You must have...how do people say it...been around the block a few times?” Yusuke asked in an attempt to keep up a friendly conversation. Akira smirked.

“Something like that. I didn’t know you could gauge that much from assessing my junk,” he said, stopping in front of the stairs.

“Believe it or not, I actually am not as dense as I may seem.”

“Ahh a hint of sarcasm? I like it,” Akira noted. He leaned down to gently let go of the TV. Yusuke had assumed the TV was to be set up upstairs, so he was a little surprised when the other boy had opted to put it down. However he followed suit, doing the same as the other.

“You...don’t want it in your room?” Yusuke asked. Akira shook his head and pointed towards the living room.

“If you don’t mind, let me switch the TVs. Mine’s a little bigger, and it’s at least a widescreen. We can share it down here if you want, and the crappy one can go in my room,” Akira explained.

“Oh, I would hate for you to go through the trouble. I don’t mind, really.”

“Yusuke…” Akira said with a sigh. He took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Just take my damned TV, okay? I offered. It’s fine.”

Yusuke bent down to pick up his corner of the TV again. Akira put his glasses back on and did such as well. “If you say so. I suppose I was being too cautious of being rude.”

“Don’t worry about it, dude,” Akira said, taking the lead into the living room. “You just need to relax. Listen, Ryuji and I were gonna have a little housewarming party tonight. Join us. Have some fun.”

The duo managed to carry the TV into the living room. They set it down a few feet away from the stand where the smaller TV sat. Akira walked over to the couch and sat down. Yusuke folded his arms and looked at his new roommate, a trace of confusion in his eyes.

“I appreciate the offer. However, partying certainly is not my cup of tea.”

“We’ll make it your cup of tea, then. You’re not weaseling your way out of this,” Akira said with a mischievous grin. “And besides. I gotta see what kind of drunk my roommate is.”

“D-drunk? As in alcohol?” Yusuke said, his eyes widening. If he wasn’t skeptic before, he was now. “The only alcohol I’ve consumed is sake with my sensei…”

“Then do we have a treat for you.”

Yusuke opened his mouth to protest one more time, but Akira cut him off before he could say anything.

“Ryuji! Hey! Yusuke’s gonna drink with us tonight!!”

“I? What?” Yusuke stammered. Ryuji immediately came downstairs. He stopped halfway down and leaned over the handrail, parallel to the living room.

“For real? This is gonna be awesome!”

“Now hold on just a min--” Yusuke tried to interrupt, but it seemed the two had already made up their minds. Akira got off the couch and reunited with Ryuji. The two shared a high five from opposite sides of the staircase.

“Let’s wrap this up then. The sooner I get unpacked, the sooner we can do this,” Akira said. Ryuji came down the remainder of the stairs, and before Yusuke could even try to sway their minds, they were already headed outside to get the rest of Akira’s belongings.

As much as Yusuke wanted to put his foot down and say no to this “housewarming party,” he also recognized it as a good chance to get to know his roommate. Not that he expected friendship or companionship out of Akira. After all, the two were only under the same roof under a mutual need to save on living expenses. Yusuke still couldn't deny, though, that there was something intriguing about Akira; an air of mystery and many layers that Yusuke wanted to delve into.

While the other boys were busy getting boxes out of the car outside, Yusuke heard quiet pattering on the floor. He looked down at the source, which was a jet black cat with vibrant blue eyes and white markings. Yusuke knelt on the floor and offered his hand out to the cat. If he was going to be on friendly terms with Akira, he figured it would be good to be on friendly terms with Akira’s cat as well. Akira had mentioned before that his name was Morgana, right?

Morgana took a few more steps towards Yusuke. He sniffed Yusuke’s hand carefully. Once he deemed it safe, Morgana nudged his face into Yusuke’s palm. The artist smiled and gently pet the cat’s head. Maybe this cat wouldn’t be so bad after all?

Or so Yusuke thought, until Morgana had decided that was enough attention from Yusuke. He promptly padded over to Yusuke’s couch and raised his hindquarters. Before Yusuke could even shoo the cat away, Morgana had already marked his territory.

“That is unacceptable behavior!” Yusuke yelled at Morgana. The latter just stared up at him, making direct eye contact as if to say he didn’t care. With that, Morgana ran out the door. For a second Yusuke wondered if he should stop Morgana from going outside quite yet, assuming Akira would be upset if Morgana got lost. However, at the same time, if Morgana just happened to disappear...would that be such a bad thing?

“Hmm,” Yusuke mused in thought. “Perhaps I’m a worse person than I originally thought. Fascinating.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started my job again, and I got sick, so this took longer than I would have liked >v>;; but eeeyy!! Now they've gone from acquaintances to housemates! Join us next time (which will hopefully be not too long from now) where the boys have drunk bonding time lol


	4. In Which Akira Proves to Be a Mixologist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick warning, this chapter depicts drinking and some consequences that come with it. In other words, Yusuke is a major lightweight and Ryuji and Akira underestimate this. In case it hadn't been obvious, the characters are in their early 20s in this AU, so they aren't drinking underage or anything! Am I doing this content warning right? Anyway, yeah. If you're squeamish to alcohol and/or getting sick from alcohol, then tread carefully!

The three young men had been busy for a few of hours. After they brought all of Akira’s belongings inside, Ryuji and Yusuke decided to help him unpack and rearrange the room a little. It was hard for Yusuke to not get caught up in his own head by changing something that had been so familiar to him for years. However, he found solace in the fact that with every change, it felt less like Madarame’s room and more like something new. Possibly, could this be along the lines of immersion therapy? Yusuke wasn’t sure, but he decided not to question it too much.

After all of their hard work, they had finally finished. Yusuke looked around the room, a little impressed that such an organized space could be the result of Akira and Ryuji’s work. Truly, he had underestimated the two of them.  _ Of course, only time will tell if he maintains this. _

Yusuke, still iffy about the housewarming party, tried to sneak out of Akira’s room. He would at least avoid them until they were already inebriated. While Yusuke’s movements were typically smooth and subtle, not even that would be enough to help him out of this situation. He felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and caught a blonde head of hair in the corner of his eye.  _ Ryuji. _ Yusuke groaned quietly and turned around.

“You're not leaving that easily, dude. We still gotta get the goods,” Ryuji said with a grin. Just as Yusuke feared. He would have no luck getting out of drinking. He sighed.

“It was worth a shot, right?” Yusuke said.

“Hear that? Yusuke wants to do shots,” Ryuji said, directing his statement at Akira.

“That is certainly not what I said,” Yusuke retorted. Akira took his car keys out of his pocket and headed to the stairs.

“I'll go get the booze then. I have to give Sojiro his car back anyway.”

“Want me to come with?” Ryuji asked. Akira shook his head as he started walking downstairs.

“Nah. I need a few words with Sojiro alone. Besides, we can't leave our new friend all alone.”

Yusuke narrowed his eyes. Somehow, he felt that Akira’s use of the word “friend” was purely opportunist in nature, not to mention a little condescending. Again, though, he had no intentions of arguing at that moment. He placed one hand on his hip and inched over to the two of them. He couldn't discern if what he was about to say was giving up completely or reclaiming his control. Frankly, he didn’t care which case was true.

“You have business with this ‘Sojiro,’ yes? Allow Ryuji and I to pick up the alcohol. I will cooperate.”

Ryuji and Akira exchanged glances, no doubt because they weren't sure if Yusuke was using reverse psychology or some other trickery to get out of this. In the end, Ryuji just shrugged.

“Yeah, sure. No sense in makin’ Akira do all the work,” the blonde said. Akira nodded in agreement.

“Thanks for taking one for the team, Yusuke. I'm sure that's eating you up inside.”

Yusuke chuckled. “Not at all.”  _ Though I'm quite sure the alcohol will. _

As the banter subsided, the plan was set in motion. Akira took the car and headed back to Leblanc. Yusuke was a little curious what business he had to wrap up there, but it wasn’t his place to ask. Besides, he had the more pressing matter of buying booze with Ryuji. Certainly, he hoped that Ryuji and Akira didn’t intend for him to pay for this. While Yusuke did have money, it had to go to utilities. Though his poverty could be his new out for this plan, Yusuke just assumed there was no way out no matter what he tried, so why bother? He’d made some warped sense of peace with his situation anyway.

Yusuke grabbed his keys and headed out the door with Ryuji. He locked the front door and hung the keys from one of his belt loops. The silence between the two of them was a little awkward, and yet Yusuke had no intention of breaking it. The heat was near record temperatures, the closest store was half a mile away, and all things considered, Yusuke felt his cranky mood was justified. Talking would only make the trip to the store take longer.

“So, I hear you’re an artist?” Ryuji said, breaking the silence. Yusuke pursed his lips and held back an annoyed sigh.

“Correct. Why?”

“No reason, dude. I’m just tryin’ to be friendly. Akira’s my best friend, so we should at least be on good terms don’t ya think?” Ryuji explained. Admittedly, the blonde had a point. Yusuke inhaled.

“Of course. Forgive my lack of manners. The heat is just getting to me,” Yusuke said.

“For real,” Ryuji groaned. He threw his arms up and looked to the sky. “It’s hotter than Satan’s asscrack out here! If it were any hotter, I’d melt like a damn snowman.”

Yusuke’s breath caught in his throat, and he looked wide eyed at Ryuji. He was not used to vulgar language. Like, at all. He coughed a little bit, finally exhaling. Perhaps a change of subject would be better.

“...Sure. Anyway, so you know my career. What do you do for a living?” Yusuke asked. Ryuji turned his head away, trying to avoid Yusuke’s gaze. Yusuke looked at the blonde, not understanding what the hesitation was for. A simple answer would do; it wasn’t like Yusuke was asking for Ryuji’s entire life story.

“Y’know. I work with Akira,” Ryuji quietly said.

“And where does Akira work?”

Ryuji rubbed the back of his neck and let out a huff. He shoved his hands into his pockets, almost as if he was trying to look as natural as possible. If anything, though, it was stiff and just raised Yusuke’s suspicion more. He remembered being brushed off when he asked Akira the same question. Told it was a secret. Just what kind of job did they work? Neither of them seemed to want to disclose a single hint or detail.

“Look, man, I’m not under authority to tell you. Just don’t worry about it, okay?” Ryuji offered. Yusuke was hardly satisfied with that answer.

“Your reluctance to tell me is worrying. No matter the answer, it won’t change my mind on letting Akira stay with me. Admittedly, I’m in quite the financial bind, so I’m in no position to be judgemental,” Yusuke said. It was an attempt to ease Ryuji’s nerves, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. Ryuji stopped in his tracks and glared at Yusuke.

“Dude. I said to drop it, so drop it.”

Yusuke opened his mouth to argue, but quickly shut it. He folded his arms and looked away from the blonde. Yusuke had always been pretty pushy, so Ryuji’s frustration with him was nothing new. And sure, Yusuke probably shouldn’t have pressed. But at this point, it almost felt like their income source was something illegal or under the table. He had the right to be concerned about something like that, no matter how kind Akira had been. With Akira already moved in at this point, and with bills coming up, Yusuke couldn’t throw him out. He supposed with that in mind, it truly didn’t matter how Akira made his money.

That was that. Yusuke decided not to press the matter further. He shook his head and started walking forward. He turned his head to the side a little to address Ryuji, who was still standing back.

“Well, let’s get to the store. I haven’t the money to buy your alcohol, so make haste.”

Ryuji’s frown transitioned from annoyed and worried to melancholic and regrettable. He caught back up with Yusuke, walking in stride with the artist.

“Yeah. Okay.”

 

* * *

 

The housewarming party is fine, Yusuke said. He’d only have one or two drinks he said. Empty promises to himself were made that night. It seemed that drinking responsibly was easier said than done, for the events of that evening had led Yusuke to quite literally spill his guts all over the pavement outside his home. He could only think of how disappointed his late guardian would be; how he was probably rolling over in his grave. Yusuke wasn’t sure how much he cared. He wasn’t even sure how he’d found himself in such a situation.

It started when he and Ryuji had met back up with Akira at Yusuke’s atelier. It had been an awkward trip to the store with Ryuji, given how their conversation during the walk had gone. The atmosphere lightened slightly when they were finally at the corner store, staring down the selection of alcohol. Yusuke wasn’t completely unfamiliar with all of it -- after all, he’d often found used bottles of miscellaneous spirits and collected them for still life studies. Thus, at the very least, he’d have a few more bottles to add to his collection for future use. And maybe the actual liquid inside would bring some kind of inspiration that he could capture later.

They dragged the goods home with them and waited patiently for about an hour until Akira came home as well. Despite Yusuke and Ryuji volunteering to buy the alcohol, Akira had a bottle with him as well. It looked fancy compared to what they bought. It was evidently a housewarming gift from Leblanc’s owner Sojiro. In addition to that, Akira also brought home take out and snacks for everybody. Something solid for their stomachs to soak up the alcohol, Yusuke supposed. It was surprisingly thoughtful, considering Yusuke felt more or less forced into the situation.

After eating their dinner, Yusuke divvied out some glasses for everybody. Ryuji frowned.

“You don’t own shot glasses?”

“I haven’t a purpose for such a purchase.”

Still, though, the glasses would function just fine. They were relatively small anyway. Yusuke had opted to pick out something mellow for himself -- just a bottle of sake. He reached for it, and that’s when things had already started to go awry. Akira intercepted his reach, grabbed Yusuke’s glass, and started aligning different bottles. He smirked, pouring a little bit of this and that into Yusuke’s cup.

“Excuse me. I wanted the sake,” Yusuke said, trying to stop the shorter boy. Akira adjusted his glasses and gave Yusuke a cheeky look.

“You can drink that any time. This is a special occasion, so I’m mixing you something good,” he explained.

Yusuke was weary. Very weary. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Relax. The guy makes drinks for people all the time,” Ryuji chimed in. He had already helped himself to some bourbon.

“Yeah, as a barista! I hardly think alcohol and coffee are the same thing!”

“And done! Enjoy, Yusuke,” Akira said, sliding the glass back at him. Oh yes, Yusuke just loved when the two of them conveniently pretended not to hear his desperate pleas for rational thought. He stifled a groan as he pulled the glass closer. He stared down at the dubious beverage. His eyes ascended for a second to see Akira and Ryuji both staring him down, no doubt waiting for a reaction. A sigh escaped Yusuke’s lips as he took the glass and promptly rested the rim on the tip of his bottom lip. Without a second thought, he tilted his head back and took a sip.

Yusuke was waiting for some horrible reaction. Some awful burning or the urge to gag. Ultimately, nothing of the sort happened. Yes, it brought on an intense tingle as it made its way down his throat, but that was to be expected of most alcohol. The beverage was a little tart, slightly bitter, but mostly refreshing and fruity. He had to admit, he was pleased with it.

“Hmm. Perhaps I misjudged you, Akira. It’s quite palatable,” Yusuke said before taking another sip. Akira and Ryuji shared a high five. Yusuke didn’t understand why they appeared so satisfied over this. The two of them started making drinks for themselves. Yusuke continued to sip on his drink. He assumed it wasn’t strong based on taste. That was a mistake he’d regret hours later.

There was a silence amongst them as they sat around the coffee table and sipped on their drinks. Akira was the first to break the silence. He took out his phone and put on some music through the speaker. He sat it down on the couch behind him and cleared his throat.

“No sense in sitting like lumps on a log. Let’s play a game,” Akira suggested. Yusuke looked at him curiously as Ryuji gave a subdued cheer.

“Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about! What should we play?”

“How about Never Have I Ever?” Akira mused. Ryuji wrinkled his nose a little.

“Ain’t that a little...I dunno. Teenage girl-ish?” the blonde said. Akira chuckled.

“I think it’s perfect. We can get to know Yusuke, and Yusuke can get to know us. Yusuke, what do you think?” Akira asked, his gaze going over to the artist. Yusuke shrugged his shoulders.

“I have no objections,” he said. Surprisingly, he wasn’t too unfamiliar with the game. A few of Madarame’s pupils had played it a couple of times to celebrate meeting their deadlines. It never particularly interested Yusuke, seeing as he’d never done a lot of potentially incriminating things. That would work in his advantage this time, though. It meant he wouldn’t end up drinking too much.

Despite Ryuji’s initial objections, it didn’t take much convincing from Akira for him to be on board as well. And just as Yusuke had expected, the amount of times he took sips from his glass was minimal. After twenty minutes of Yusuke sitting in the same spot, arms folded and his drink growing stale, Ryuji slammed his glass down on the table, partially in frustration and partially because he was buzzed. He pointed at Yusuke and leaned forward.

“You have to be lying to us!! There’s no effin way you’ve never snuck out past curfew or gone out on a date with a girl!” he yelled.

“I don’t share your walk of life. My entire being has been devoted to art since I was a child,” Yusuke calmly explained. Ryuji slammed his head down on the table and curled up within himself.

“What _ ever _ man. Akira, gimme a refill,” the blonde groaned. Akira chuckled and started mixing him another drink.

“Are you actually drunk after one drink?” Akira asked, pouring various liquids into the cup. Ryuji looked up and shot a dull glare at his friend.

“Hell no. I’m pissed that Yusuke’s playin’ us!”

“Hmm,” Akira said, closing his eyes. He gave Ryuji his glass back and looked down. “We just haven’t been asking the  _ right _ questions.”

“Oh?” Ryuji murmured. He looked at Yusuke and his eyes widened. “Ohhh!!”

Yusuke quirked an eyebrow, glancing at the two of them. They were scheming, he could tell. A bead of sweat rolled down his neck. Admittedly, this made him a little nervous.

“Ah...um...well, Akira. It seems to be your turn to ask something,” Yusuke said, trying to keep his composure. While Akira’s glasses often obscured his eyes far too much to read, Yusuke was almost certain he saw a twinkle in Akira’s eye. His lips curled into a slight smirk.

“Alright. Never have I ever voluntarily spent more than an hour in a museum,” Akira said.

“Wait...that’s not an incriminating experience,” Yusuke protested. Ryuji started cackling.

“They don’t gotta be incriminating! Drink up, buddy!!”

Yusuke looked to Akira who simply nodded at his drink. The artist sighed and took a sip. He fully understood their plan now. They were going to gang up on him with art related scenarios. A part of him was kind of surprised they hadn’t thought of that to begin with. After he put his cup down, it was his turn. He narrowed his eyes and thought for a moment.

“Never have I ever...been prosecuted by the law,” Yusuke said. He glanced at Ryuji, assuming he’d be the more likely of the two to take a sip. Shockingly, it was actually Akira who drank.

“Akira…?” Yusuke muttered. Akira set his cup down and looked away from Yusuke.

“It’s not what you think, I promise,” he said. Yusuke noticed him twirling a lock of his bangs. Immediately, he regretted asking such a question. An awkward silence fell between the three of them until Ryuji cleared his throat.

“A-anyway. Never have I ever stared at another man’s dick!” the blonde yelled, having tried to pick a scenario to lighten the atmosphere. Yusuke sighed and took a sip. Akira and Ryuji stared at him.

“I know you’re an artist, but you’re gay?” Ryuji asked. Yusuke stared at him, his eyebrows upturned in minor annoyance.

“There is no correlation between either of those,” Yusuke retorted. “I have taken many figure drawing classes, and nude models are par for the course.”

The topic of dicks and Yusuke’s sexuality, which he kept vague about, was soon replaced as the questions continued. Come the end of the game, Akira and Ryuji’s epiphany of using art-centric scenarios resulted in Yusuke downing the rest of his drink and half of another. As much as Yusuke wanted to deny it, he was already feeling tipsy. He expected it, having never indulged this much in hard alcohol. Low body weight and low tolerance weren’t exactly a good combination.

Yusuke sat on the couch and slowly worked on finishing his glass. Akira and Ryuji started doing shots, or at least as well as they could not having shot glasses. After Yusuke had finished off his glass of...whatever Akira had been mixing for him, they tried to get him in on their game. Yusuke tried to decline a few times, but Ryuji poured a small amount of tequila into Yusuke’s cup.

“Loosen up! Try one shot,” Ryuji encouraged. Yusuke brought it up to his face and gave it a sniff. It reminded him of household cleaners. Chemicals.  _ People really drink this for pleasure? _ However much he didn't want to drink it, Yusuke wasn't one to waste consumables. He slowly drank it, which was a mistake. It triggered his gag reflex, and he started coughing. It took all he had not to throw up right there. Akira patted his back.

“Easy, easy. For future reference, you're supposed to slam the shot down quickly. Hence why it's a shot.”

“Are you certain that wasn't paint thinner?!” Yusuke said, voice hoarse and breathing ragged.

“Yeah, cuz this was all totally a ploy to kill ya and take your house,” Ryuji said, laughing. Truly Yusuke understood that was a joke, but the alcohol clouded his judgement and it only served to freak him out.

“Oh dear lord! Madarame forgive me,” he whined, slumping over. Akira shifted over to the couch and sat next to Yusuke. He put an arm around the artist and leaned into him.

“We won't kill you. You're fine,” Akira said through slurred speech. As drunken as the words were, they comforted Yusuke enough to calm him down. 

“ _ Sheesh _ Akira, you really do flirt with anyone when you're drunk. Tryin’ to put the moves on Yusuke?” Ryuji asked, slamming down another shot.

“Well, he  _ is _ pretty,” Akira slyly said. Yusuke’s head shot up, and he looked at Akira. That had to be a joke, right? It certainly wasn't the first time anyone had called Yusuke attractive. It was shocking to hear from Akira’s mouth though.

“Er...thank you?” Yusuke finally said. Akira leaned over to the coffee table and started pouring alcohol into Yusuke’s glass. At this point, Yusuke didn't even have it in himself to protest. When presented with the glass, Yusuke accepted and took a big sip.

It was quite bitter, and it burned going down his throat. No doubt it was a lot stronger than what Akira had previously been mixing for him. However, it wasn’t all bad. There was an underlying sweetness to it. That and Yusuke’s reluctance for waste made Yusuke continue drinking it.

“I put a little love in it this time,” Akira said with a wink. Yusuke almost spit what was in his mouth out with laughter. Love? Who would have thought love tasted so bitter.

“Oh my god, you guys are  _ gaaaay _ ,” Ryuji groaned. Akira whipped his head towards Ryuji. Slowly, he stood up from his spot, which resulted in Yusuke slumping over and curling up on the couch. Akira walked over to Ryuji and leaned far down to look him in the eyes.

“You wanna go?”

Ryuji smirked, standing up. He stretched a little. “Come at me, bro.” Yusuke inched to the arm of the couch to look at them. He moaned a little.

“Please don’t fight in here,” the artist quietly pleaded. He leaned over to grab his cup and debated another sip. The more he sipped, the worse he felt.  _ But it’ll go to waste. _ Yusuke sighed and started working on the glass again. He glanced back at the other two, who showed no signs of backing down. “I’m serious. Take it outside.”

“You and me. Macarena. Cue the music,” Akira demanded of the blonde. Ryuji grabbed Akira’s phone and paused the song it was currently on to play the song Akira had requested.

“Ohhhh you’re going down, dude,” Ryuji said through gritted teeth. Yusuke sat up, getting more agitated that he was being ignored. The sudden movement made his stomach lurch. He focused on his breathing and tried to convince himself that his stomach wasn’t churning like crazy. His gaze drifted back to the two of them, knowing he at least needed to assess the damage.

And that’s when rather than breaking out the fisticuffs, Akira and Ryuji started dancing. “What in the world…” Yusuke muttered, watching the two of them dance. It would have likely been in sync if they weren’t totally drunk.

With that worry off Yusuke’s mind, his attention was back to how he was feeling. He was sweating, and his stomach felt more vile by the minute. He slowly stood up. Maybe some fresh air would do him some good. The bizarre song Akira and Ryuji had been dancing to ended as Yusuke started making his way out of the living room. He almost made it when he felt tugging on his arm.  _ No...this is the worst possible moment. _ Yusuke turned around to see Akira facing him. He opened his mouth to ask what the other man wanted, but the sensation in his stomach told him he’d be better off keeping his mouth shut as tight as possible.

Akira took one of Yusuke’s hands. For a reason Yusuke couldn’t gauge, it made him sweat more. He glanced down at his hand and back up at Akira’s eyes. There was a lazy grin on his face. Yusuke hadn’t noticed, but he had taken his glasses off before his little “dance battle” with Ryuji. It was the first time he got a good look at Akira’s dull red eyes. Had it been any other time, Yusuke would stare deep within them and start making mumblings about their aesthetic. However, Yusuke knew the alcohol wasn’t sitting well with him, and he needed to get out.

Yusuke made an attempt to break his hand out of Akira’s grasp so he could hurry outside, but Akira was persistent. He chuckled at Yusuke and took a step closer. Yusuke’s face felt flushed. He wasn’t sure what Akira was doing.

“Akira, I--” Yusuke couldn’t finish that sentence before he felt a mild gagging sensation at the back of his throat, causing him to shut his mouth again.

“The night’s young, Yusuke. C’mon…” Akira gave his hand a gentle squeeze, his voice becoming more of a hushed whisper. “Dance with me, roomie.”

Yusuke’s heart started pounding against his chest. Akira was making him nervous. He tried to open his mouth again to protest, and that’s when he realized he’d been acting on borrowed time. He ripped his hand out of Akira’s grasp and ran for the front door. He slammed it open and tore down the walkway and past his mailbox. There was some assemblance of a fence outside his house, that of which he threw himself over.

It took a few moments to register that the sound of liquid splattering on the pavement was the contents of his stomach regurgitated through his mouth. In reality, the vomiting was done and over within a few moments. To Yusuke, though, it felt excruciatingly slow, his misery growing with every heave. As he was finishing up, he felt a hand on his back, rubbing gentle circles. He slowly turned around to once again see Akira. Yusuke groaned and sunk down to his knees. Akira crouched adjacent from him.

“I should have listened when you said you didn’t want to drink. You’re quite the light weight,” Akira quietly said with a quiet laugh. Yusuke looked down, embarrassment starting to overwhelm him.

“Why did you come out here? I really am not in the mood for teasing, so please don’t start,” the artist retorted, voice hoarse.

“I came out to make sure you were okay, man,” Akira explained. He stood from his squat and offered a hand to Yusuke. With a sigh, Yusuke took his hand and rose to his feet. His stomach was a little shaky still, and it felt like the world was spinning around him. He hadn’t noticed that his stance was wobbly, but Akira did. Akira put an arm around his back and helped him walk.

“Easy, Yusuke. Let’s get you in bed,” Akira muttered, leading him back inside and towards the stairs. Yusuke blinked, trying to pay attention to the ground in front of him.

“Forgive me for ruining your party,” he said, slowly making his way up the stairs with Akira’s help. Akira shook his head and kept chugging along.

“While hearing you puke your guts out was surprisingly sobering, it’s no big deal. Ryuji and I drink together a lot, so it’s really okay.”

“Next time, perhaps do not invite me,” Yusuke replied with a slight chuckle.

“No worries. It’s sparkling cider for you next time. I promise, we won’t pressure you to drink again.”

Akira assisted Yusuke up to his room. He lead the artist over to his bed. Yusuke immediately plopped down on it. He sprawled out on his back and stared up at the ceiling. It was spinning, which wasn’t exactly working wonders on his stomach, so he immediately closed his eyes. Akira nudged him a little bit, which elicited a groan.

“Not that I’m trying to boss you around, but you should lie on your side,” Akira suggested.

“Why…”

“Because drowning in your own puke is not only a humiliating way to go, but also super preventable,” Akira explained. He spotted a garbage can on the other side of the room and decided to retrieve it. He put it by Yusuke’s bed just in case. Yusuke rolled over to one side, opting to face the garbage can. He looked over to Akira, who was standing and looking at him. Almost as if he was waiting.

“I’ll be okay,” Yusuke said. Akira smiled.

“Physically, yeah. But it’s your first time drinking hard, and you’re sick. I don’t like leaving people alone in that state,” he explained. Yusuke wasn’t going to protest. He didn’t have the energy even if he wanted to. Akira took the silence as acceptance and pulled up a chair. Crossing one leg in front of the other, he hummed a little.

“So tell me more about yourself, Yusuke. I don’t think Never Have I Ever actually told me much.”

Yusuke hesitated before saying “Tell me what you’d like to know.”

“How’d you end up with a shack like this? I think that’s a good start,” Akira suggested. Yusuke gently nodded. Typically he wouldn’t open up about his past and personal life, but his normal judgement wasn’t with him. And besides, a part of him wanted to open up to Akira at least a little.

“It belonged to my foster guardian. Someone I might have once considered a father, but has since fallen from grace.”

“Go on,” Akira prodded.

Yusuke licked his lips and closed his eyes. “I was raised by a master artist. Actually, correction...a man posing as a master artist. Have you heard of the Madarame scandal?”

“It rings a few bells. That was a couple years ago, right? Some old guy was caught in a long line of plagiarism. Is that what you’re referencing?”

With a nod, Yusuke continued. “That’s him. Shortly after the scandal, he...well. He passed away due to some circumstances I’d rather not get into at the moment. He left me this house in his will. I guess to make up for all the money he made off of the paintings he forced me to provide him with.”

“That’s...oddly nice. I wouldn’t expect that from a heartless cretin of society,” Akira said. A silence fell between him, and he realized that might have come out insensitive. “Sorry, not to speak ill of your...whatever he was to you. I didn’t mean to strike a nerve.”

“It’s okay, Akira. I still have complicated feelings on the matter.”

“So...if this Madarame guy made serious bank off your art, I don’t see why you can’t,” Akira pointed out. Yusuke snorted and rolled his eyes.

“As Madarame always said, my art only has worth with his name attached.”

“Do you honestly believe that?”

Yusuke wasn’t sure how to answer that question. He buried his face in his arms and groaned yet again. Akira folded his arms and leaned back in his chair. “Well? Do you?”

It pained Yusuke to answer truthfully. “...Perhaps I do.” His eyes tingled, getting a little watery. “I know I have talent on my own merits, but I fear it may not be enough.”

“Okay, then how about this? Once we’re both sober, let’s find some way to make your art more public. Your issue isn’t Madarame or your talent, it’s that you’re living in the stone ages. The internet is a hefty resource,” Akira suggested. Yusuke considered it. However, there was still one problem.

“I wouldn’t want to trouble you with my problems,” Yusuke said.

“If we don’t fix your problem, it’ll become my problem. I don’t wanna have to spot you on bills and food. That’d make you a pretty crappy roommate, and I’d probably end up resenting you,” Akira explained, his tone and face a little stern. His expression softened a little and he sighed. “Truthfully, I’d rather that didn’t happen. I don’t wanna resent you. So do we have a deal? Yusuke?”

There was hesitation. The way Akira phrased it made sense, so why was he still so reluctant to say yes? He yawned and curled up in his bed a little more. Truth be told, it was the push he needed to stop making excuses for his lack of success. He glanced back to Akira.

“Very well. I will go along with this,” Yusuke said., yawning again. His eyelids started feeling heavier. They blinked to a close, and he knew he was about to drift off to sleep. Akira smiled gingerly at him and stood up.

“Good. We’ll discuss more tomorrow.”

With that, Akira exited Yusuke’s room, leaving Yusuke alone to drift into a deep sleep. He had a feeling leaving Ryuji alone with the booze meant he might have one more sick friend to tend to, so he figured it’d be a good idea to head back downstairs. He felt something soft brush against his leg. It was Morgana. Akira picked the cat up and walked downstairs.

“You can help me keep an eye on these two tonight. Keep them safe for me, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this fanfiction is actually leading up to something! I have a good majority of it planned out with plenty of angst and fluff ahead. This chapter is a bit long compared to normal. Are short chapters or long chapters more preferable? I haven't written in such a long time that I'm not sure haha xD; I kinda just end them in a spot that feels like it makes sense. Anyway! Thanks for reading! Tune in next week (probably) for more dorkery!


	5. In Which Yusuke Competes in Many Ways

The previous night, Yusuke had not really dreamed. Or maybe he did and he didn’t notice. When he woke up, his mouth was incessantly dry, and there was a shooting pain through the back of his skull. He groaned, turning over. He knew that if he got up, the headache would be worse. Yusuke had a sneaking suspicion that this was the ill fated hangover; a metaphorical punishment for mistakes made the night before. If only he hadn’t been so reluctant to waste the alcohol. The regret he felt was abysmal. Still, though, the day had to go on.

Yusuke sat up. Immediately, the sharp pain in the back of his head amplified, and he let out a pained gasp. Perhaps his day didn’t need to start _quite_ yet. But then again, he remembered that he wasn’t the only person in the shack. It would probably take a while to get used to the fact that now he had Akira around as well. On top of that, Ryuji likely stayed the night all things considered. Yusuke was a little worried that his living room might be trashed, seeing as he had no choice but to leave the two of them alone.

Of course, he probably didn’t need to worry about Akira. After all, Akira had been nothing but helpful since the day they met. There’d be no way Akira would let the place stay trashed, even if he had been drinking.

Right?

There was no way Yusuke could know for sure until he went to see for himself. Standing up elicited a pained wince. He almost tripped over the trash can by his bed, which he vaguely remembered Akira placing there for him the night before. He smiled a little to himself before walking over to the door. He opened the door and stepped out, closing it softly to avoid a loud slam making his headache worse. He felt a little woozy on his feet, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as the previous night. Slowly, Yusuke started down the stairs. They creaked with every step, the creaks sounding louder than usual. He groaned slightly, his head pounding.

“Never again. I shall never allow alcohol to touch my lips again,” Yusuke muttered. He made his way over to the door frame of the living room and peeked his head inside. Ryuji was lying on the couch, and he could hear some noises in the kitchen, presumably Akira. It seemed that whatever mess there was had been cleaned up. There wasn’t even a trace of their glasses on the table.

Yusuke walked further into the room and took a glance into the kitchen to see Akira cooking. Morgana was sitting on the counter watching him. Yusuke didn’t exactly want the cat sitting on his countertop, but he was far too hungover to make a big deal over it.

“Akira?” Yusuke said. His voice was quiet, and he wasn’t sure if the other boy heard him. Yusuke considered taking a few steps forward, but Akira turned his head slightly to look at him.

“Morning Sunshine,” Akira said with a cheeky grin. “How are you feeling?”

Yusuke rubbed the back of his head. Akira’s voice was just a little too loud for his liking. Before he could answer, Ryuji’s voice came across from the couch.

“Akira, man, don’t yell...my head is killing me,” the blonde whined. Yusuke rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and chuckled.

“I suppose I’m feeling better than Ryuji. However, I believe I have a hangover.”

“Splitting headache and unquenchable thirst?” Akira asked. Yusuke nodded, and Akira smirked down at the food sizzling in the pan. “That’s definitely a hangover. Go sit down, and I’ll have some food out shortly.”

Once more, Yusuke nodded and did as Akira told him. He would have preferred to lie down on the couch, but moving Ryuji would be more trouble than it was worth. He sat down on a stiff arm chair adjacent to the couch and leaned back. Yusuke wasn’t sure how much of an appetite he actually had, but he also didn’t want to waste food. Never mind the fact that not wanting to waste is what put him in this situation in the first place.

Soon enough, Akira came out of the kitchen with a couple of small bowls. He put one down on the coffee table, summoning Ryuji to a stir. He walked over to Yusuke and presented the other one. Yusuke grabbed it and looked inside. It seemed to be pan fried rice. Pretty plain, not that he was complaining since his stomach was still feeling a little off.

“Thank you very much, Akira. This is generous,” Yusuke said. He took a bite of the food. It had just enough flavor to motivate him to keep eating, but it definitely wouldn’t upset his stomach.

“Don’t mention it. I’ll be back with some water. The more water you drink, the better you’ll feel,” Akira explained. He turned his head to look behind him. “That goes for you too, Ryuji.”

Ryuji groaned through a mouth stuffed with rice. “Yeah, yeah _mom_.”

Yusuke continued nibbling on his food. He kept lazy eyes on Akira while he ate. He couldn’t help but notice how caring Akira was, even if his kindness was presented with a hint of sarcasm. There was no way Yusuke would mention to Akira just how fatherly he really was to those he cared about. Somehow he felt that Akira was too embarrassed and modest to ever acknowledge it.

Akira came back out of the kitchen. He placed a glass on either side of the coffee table, along with what looked to be a bottle of painkillers. Yusuke opened his mouth to give the boy another thank you, but Akira was already headed back to the kitchen. Yusuke tried not to worry about it too much. He leaned forward to grab his water and took a sip. It was much more divine than any spirit or liquor.

By the time Yusuke had finished his food, Akira had finally come out of the kitchen for the final time, sitting down with his own bowl of rice. Yusuke placed his bowl on the coffee table and grabbed the bottle of painkillers. He didn’t much care for taking medicine of any kind, but his headache was practically demanding it. He popped a couple of the tablets and chased them with the remainder of his water.

“Go get some more water,” Akira said through a mouthful of food. “Once you’re feeling better, there’s somewhere I wanna take you.”

“Pardon?” Yusuke said. He rose to his feet, but hesitated before heading to the kitchen.

“It’s about our little talk last night. I think I found a place for you to sell some art.”

“Are you serious?” Yusuke asked, suddenly feeling a lot more coherent. Akira smirked, taking a sip of water. “How did you already find something such as that?”

“The internet, my dear Yusuke. Unlike you, my phone has a data plan. Might be worth investing in some of that sweet wi-fi soon.”

Yusuke almost immediately felt better upon hearing that news. Had it not been for the fact that Akira was currently eating, Yusuke would be dragging Akira out the door at that very moment. He scurried off to the kitchen to drink some more water. He figured it would be a good idea to at least make himself look presentable to the world. After all, his art was on the line, and Madarame had always lectured him on how important first impressions were. That was assuming Akira was taking him to some kind of museum or gallery. Yusuke could only assume that’s what Akira had in mind. After finishing his second glass of water, he placed the glass in the sink and headed upstairs to bathe and get dressed.

Never in a thousand years would Yusuke imagine that getting a roommate would pay off so much. Call it blind optimism, but he had a good feeling about Akira. 

 

* * *

 

Standing in the middle of a park during the afternoon on a late July day was not at all what Yusuke had in mind. He had opted to wear a thin dress shirt with a dark brown blazer. Needless to say, he was about ready to rip the blazer off with how hot it was. Being sweaty wasn’t a good look, but he also kept reminding himself that it was important to be put together. To the side, Akira was standing with him. He was holding one of Yusuke’s smaller paintings, while Yusuke had a binder full of photographs of what he felt to be his best work. Akira stated that it was required for entry.

_Entry into what, though?_ Yusuke still wasn’t sure what this crazy scheme of Akira’s was.

They were standing in a fairly moderate sized line that lead to a table where a man and a woman were accepting applicants. Yusuke sighed. He had finally had enough of the mystery.

“What is this?” he asked. Akira pushed his glasses up and smiled.

“I know it’s not a fancy museum or anything like that, but there’s this Art Festival coming up soon. I read about the details online. If you’re accepted, you get to set up a booth to sell your work.”

“I was hoping for something a little more...refined? Official?” Yusuke stammered. Akira gave him a pat on the back.

“I can’t guarantee anything like that, but there is gonna be a competition during the festival. The winner gets a cash prize and the opportunity to host their own small exhibition at the museum.”

What had been doubt in the pit of Yusuke’s stomach was now a passionate fire burning bright. Summer heat be damned, he would wait in line for days if it gave him a chance to prove himself. Finally he could make a name for himself. He could separate his work and name from Madarame’s. _Finally_ he could eat more than once a day.

“I will win the competition and blow all these amateurs out of the water,” Yusuke declared. Fellow entrants turned to look at him, clearly a little agitated with his bold statement. Akira rubbed the back of his neck and leaned towards Yusuke.

“Try to contain your confidence until we leave. You’re going to piss people off,” Akira advised. Yusuke immediately cleared his throat and tried to look as natural as possible.

“Right. Yes, of course. Where are my manners?”

Yusuke and Akira waited in line, standing in comfortable silence. Glancing over at Akira, he noticed the boy was glued to his phone. He was typing a lot, and Yusuke could only think he was either an underground novelist or he was texting someone. Probably the latter. It didn't bother Yusuke for the most part. That left a small part of him that did mind. He didn't know why he cared. He felt general unease at not being the focus of Akira’s attention. Anger? No that was too strong. Perhaps disappointment? Somehow that didn't fit either. The feeling was akin to when Madarame would brush Yusuke off while praising another pupil. An aching green envy within him.

He was jealous.

Moving along the line subconsciously, Yusuke crossed his arms, hugging the binder close to his chest, and pursed his lips. He knew he had no right to feel this way. He wasn't entitled to Akira’s undivided attention. He had spent a long time with no one but himself for company. On the off chance someone approached Yusuke, his quirks and eccentricities usually pushed them away. Akira on the other hand was charismatic; charming and funny. It wasn’t often that Yusuke felt so drawn to another person. It would be no surprise that Akira would have a lot of friends or acquaintances. It made sense that Akira’s phone would blow up with messages. Akira and Yusuke had only known each other for a couple of weeks, and in that span of time, they hadn’t actually learned a lot about each other.

It was obvious to Yusuke that he would be the last person on Akira’s mind. He fought off the dull pain that realization brought in his chest. After all, Akira didn’t drag Yusuke to the park to sign up for this silly art festival out of the kindness of his heart, nor because he wanted to spend time with Yusuke. It was just to make sure Yusuke could cover his portion of the bills. All this time Yusuke had been concerned that Akira would flake out on him, but in that moment he realized that -- if anything -- he himself was the flake.

“Hey Yusuke,” Akira nudged him. Yusuke hadn’t noticed he closed his eyes upon his introspection, but he opened them and tilted his head to look at Akira.

“Hmm? Yes?”

“It’s almost your turn to sign up, and...well...you just look a little sick, I guess. I hope I didn’t rush you out the door before you were ready,” Akira said, giving the artist a nervous smile. Yusuke’s hands gripped tightly around his binder as he looked down. He shook his head gently.

“I feel fine. From time to time, I get caught up in my own head. My apologies for causing any worry,” Yusuke explained. He felt Akira’s hand on his shoulder, and it was enough to send a sensation of electric currents down his spine.

“You wanna talk about it when we’re done here?” Akira asked. Once again, Yusuke shook his head.

“It is not of your concern. I’m truly fine.”

Akira wasn’t sure what to say to that. He shoved his hands into his pockets and stepped away from Yusuke. He just assumed the heat was getting to the poor artist. After all, Yusuke hadn’t exactly dressed for the occasion.

It was finally Yusuke’s turn. He and Akira stepped up to the table. On the other side sat a feminine girl with fluffy brown hair. To her side was a fairly meek boy with short, choppy black hair. Yusuke set his binder down on the table. Akira came forward, presenting the painting he had been carrying. The girl’s eyes ventured up to Akira, and immediately they lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Akira! We weren’t expecting to see you here today,” she said. It seemed that this lady and Akira knew each other. Yusuke was less than delighted to see this. Akira rubbed the back of his neck.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you two either.”

“What brings you today?” the boy asked, smiling up at Akira. Yusuke’s eyes narrowed, as his unease turned into annoyance. So Akira knew both of them. Never mind that, their attention was on the wrong person. It was Yusuke that was entering, not Akira. Yusuke cleared his throat, perhaps a little louder than he meant to.

“Akira told me about this art festival, and I wish to sign up,” Yusuke said, his words coming through saccharine sweet. Akira glanced at him, an eyebrow upturned. It was clear to Akira that Yusuke’s tone and attitude was off, but it didn’t seem either of the two behind the table took notice.

“Oh, how wonderful! Please fill out this form. Once you’re done with that, we’ll take your canvas and portfolio away for judging,” the girl explained. She handed Yusuke a clipboard and a pen. He leaned down to start filling it out.

“We’ll contact you in a few days to come and pick your stuff up. We’ll also tell you then if you got a spot for the festa,” the boy explained. Yusuke acknowledged him with a nod, his focus mostly being on the paperwork.

“So Haru...is this an Okumura sponsored event?” Akira asked. The girl, assumably Haru, looked down and gave a quick nod.

“Yes. Father put Yuuki and I in charge of it. He said it’ll be good for the community,” she explained.

“Because we all know how much your dad really, _truly_ cares about the community,” the boy said rolling her eyes.

“Yuuki! Be careful when you talk about my father,” Haru advised.

“Yeah, Mishima. Be salty when there aren’t any witnesses,” Akira added. Yusuke looked up from the clipboard, having finished filling it out. He was utterly confused as to what the three of them were talking about.

“Not to interrupt, but I have finished,” Yusuke said, sliding the clipboard to Haru. She happily took it while Mishima took the portfolio and painting.

“You’re not interrupting anything. We were just catching up a little,” Haru said.

“Yeah. Haru here is Ryuji’s girlfriend,” Akira said with a cheeky grin. Haru blushed and looked down.

“Akira! We’re not like that,” Haru squeaked. Akira and Mishima started laughing.

“They’re dating only in Ryuji’s dreams,” Mishima added, which made Haru’s face flush an even brighter red. She covered her cheeks with her hands and closed her eyes.

“I just said it’s not like that. Besides, I have a fiance.”

After Haru said that, an uncomfortable silence fell between everyone. Akira and Mishima both had looks that felt sorrowful, not to mention concerned. Everything about this whole situation was starting to feel really off to Yusuke. He wondered if this had anything to do with Akira’s mystery profession, especially seeing as they seemed well acquainted with Ryuji as well. Then again, they could have just been high school friends. Still, though, that explanation seemed a little too simple.

Thinking about the intricacies of how these people knew each other only served to bring Yusuke’s headache from earlier back. It wasn’t as sharp of a pain as it had been before, but it was still unpleasant enough for Yusuke to want to head home. He glanced at Akira and his apparent friends. They were deep in conversation. There weren’t many people left in line, and those who were left were being handled between beats of the conversation.

_I should leave him be._

Subtle movements were something Yusuke had been good at. He slipped away from the table, leaving Akira to keep chatting away. Yusuke took the blazer off and threw it over his forearm. He was grateful that Akira had tried to help him. Truly. It was a bittersweet moment, though. The second Akira started talking to Haru and Mishima, Yusuke felt irrelevant. And it hurt. It hurt even more that Akira didn’t seem to notice that he left. At least not immediately. As Yusuke stepped on the sidewalk and left the park, his phone vibrated. He checked the message, and surely enough, it was Akira.

**[from: Akira]** **Hey, where did you go?**

Yusuke stared at the message. The discomfort he felt started growing. He knew he was being immature. He knew he wasn’t being fair. Even more, he knew damn well that the right thing to do would be to reply to Akira and walk back over to him. The rationality escaped him, though, as the discomfort he felt rose from the pit of his stomach, to his heart, and stopped in his throat. It was suffocating.

“I hope you have fun with your friends,” Yusuke muttered. He put his phone on silent and slid it back into his pocket. He continued his trek to the train station, doing his best to shake his mind of the bitter jealousy pooling inside his heart.

Not that Madarame ever encouraged Yusuke to make friends; heck he practically forbid it unless it was with a fellow pupil that had “proven their loyalty.” The other thing holding Yusuke back from allowing himself to make friends, even after the death of Madarame, was that he couldn’t bare the thought of growing attached to someone that might not reciprocate the same fondness. He didn’t want to find himself considering someone his best friend while no one thought the same of him. As hard of a pill as it was to swallow, Yusuke had made peace with being a loner.

But then, if he had truly made peace, why did it suddenly bother him so damn much?

 

* * *

 

After Yusuke arrived back home, the house was completely empty. Ryuji had likely felt well enough to head home, and the open window signaled that Morgana was probably strolling around the area. It was all too familiar to Yusuke, coming home to an empty house. He felt numb to it at this point.

Yusuke had gone upstairs to his studio to attempt painting. And for the most part, he was successful. It wasn’t a coherent piece with any particular meaning, and he knew he would likely never be able to sell it. It served for him to vent his feelings. With every color and paint stroke, he filled the canvas and pushed the paint around.

It was unclear how much time passed while Yusuke painted. He hadn’t noticed the room getting darker as the sun went down until it was hard to see the paint on the canvas. At that point he paused, and stared blankly. He couldn’t quite make out the colors anymore, but he could see the ridges of his sloppier brushstrokes. He started to get lost in his mind. Thoughts about Akira. Thoughts about Madarame. Intrusive memories of the past, and troubles of the future ran through his mind as if a dam had broken.

Yusuke’s eyes stung. He blinked to relieve the sensation, and his vision started to obscure. He didn’t realize right away that the lukewarm beads of sorrow rolling down his cheeks were tears, and that he was indeed crying. It wasn’t often he even let himself cry. It had been discouraged as he grew up. He was in private, though, and the pressure had been building up for quite some time. He hunched over in his seat, automatically placing a palm to his mouth to muffle his oncoming sobs. It was a habit from childhood.

“Dammit!” It was a rarity for Yusuke to curse. His emotions were stronger than he knew how to comprehend. He felt every bit as pathetic as he’d been taught to feel his whole life. What made him feel even worse was that he didn’t think there was any justification for his emotions.

Madarame was dead, and all he’d done while he was alive was use and abuse Yusuke. Why did he feel so broken and guilty still?

Every artist had to start somewhere. It was logical that there was no instant gratification for Yusuke’s struggles. So how come he felt talentless? Like he was letting himself down?

And finally his mind focused on Akira. It wasn’t unusual for Yusuke to feel quick attachment to people that showed him legitimate kindness. He felt drawn to Akira for reasons foreign to him. As hazy as his thoughts of the previous night were, he remembered well how Akira cared for him when he got sick. Not to mention the other can of worms of Akira drunkenly flirting with him, oh the memory of that drove Yusuke absolutely crazy.

“You need to slow down,” Yusuke told himself through sniffles and a sob. He was reading too far into the situation and into himself. _He’s just my roommate. I’m just his roommate._ He kept repeating this sentiment to himself in mind. There would be no reason to expect close friendship out of a roommate. That would just be a recipe for disaster anyway, right? Yes, it would be easy to abandon the idea.

A dim light filtered into the dark room. Yusuke immediately took notice and looked over to the door, which was now open. A shadowed figure in the doorway, of which Yusuke could identify as Akira, stared into the room. Quiet. Speechless. Yusuke could feel his heart drop, realizing that he’d been caught crying. Memories of Madarame catching him crying in private entered his head, and a feeling of anxiety and remorse started to well up. He frantically wiped his face clean, attempts made moot by more tears spilling.

“Hey,” Akira said. He stepped into the room, but didn’t come too close. “Yusuke…”

“Y-yes? What...what is it?” Yusuke replied. He tried to sound as natural as possible despite knowing full well that even an idiot could tell he was in hysterics.

“You just...disappeared earlier, and I tried texting you,” Akira said. He came a little closer. “You didn’t reply. You were acting weird before hand, and I was a little concerned.”

Yusuke inhaled a deep breath, gaining some control over his sobbing. “Is that all?”

“No. As a matter of fact, it’s not,” Akira added. Each time he spoke, he closed the distance between the two of them more and more. “Act like you’re fine all you want, but you’re obviously upset about something.”

Yusuke looked away, doing whatever he could to shield his face from Akira’s persistent gaze. “I have no idea why you think that.”

Akira was up close next to Yusuke now. “I’m not stupid.”

Yusuke took in a few deep breaths. What could he even say? Oh sorry, Akira, I’ve been bottling my negative feelings for longer than I can even trace, and seeing you talk to your friends, effectively leaving me out of the conversation, is what finally tipped me over the edge. Yeah, truly Akira would receive that well.

“I have a lot on my mind,” Yusuke said. He wiped the tears off his face, and luckily it was getting easier to keep his face dry as the crying finally started to subside. Akira started twisting a lock of his bangs, looking away.

“Listen. I did some grocery shopping, and if you’re any bit as hungry as I am, then join me for some dinner. Let’s talk,” Akira suggested. Yusuke sniffled, looking down and clenching his fingers around his knees.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know. I don’t owe you anything except my part of bills every month,” Akira pointed out. Yusuke found it within himself to chuckle.

“Sorry for the trouble,” he said, voice a little ragged. Akira shrugged and gave Yusuke a smile.

“It’s not like I had other plans tonight. Besides, I’d rather listen to you vent than just sit in my room bored and lonely like I would have living at Leblanc,” Akira explained. He turned his back to Yusuke to head back downstairs and cook.

Yusuke wasn’t sure why or how, but he felt an odd sense of comfort. It wasn’t exactly a smile, but the corners of Yusuke’s lips curved upward a little. He arose from the stool he’d been sitting on and followed Akira outside of the studio.

The two of them made it down to the kitchen. Yusuke leaned against a wall as he watched Akira get started on food. Every now and then he’d give input as to where cooking tools were. Akira had opted to make curry a la Leblanc’s recipe. Yusuke was a little excited to try the stuff. After all, he could never forget the lovely aroma of it from his first and thus far only visit to the cafe.

“Thank you for sharing with me. I promise I won’t always be a mooch,” Yusuke said. His voice was still a little quiet and rough from his previous crying.

“It’s no problem. I get this odd feeling you probably wouldn’t eat tonight otherwise,” Akira stated. Yusuke tilted his head a little, confused. Of course Akira hit the nail on the head, but Yusuke hadn’t expected the other boy know that.

“I cannot deny that possibility. Are my behaviors that obvious to you?”

“Quite,” Akira said with a laugh. “I feel like I can tell a lot about who you are just by being around you.”

“Oh? Do I want to know the deductions you’ve made?” Yusuke asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Well,” Akira looked over at Yusuke and grinned. “You always look poised, and your vocabulary is an extension of that. Also standard jokes and humor seem to fly over your head. I get the sense that you’ve been sheltered.”

“Sheltered, hm? I suppose that isn’t entirely false. Sense--I mean, Madarame kept a very close eye on me while raising me,” Yusuke explained. He rubbed the back of his head and looked down, a sad smile coming onto his face. “He always stressed the importance of presenting yourself in the most professional and intelligent way possible.”

The grin on Akira’s face straightened out, and he looked down at the pot of curry he was preparing. The steam caused his glasses to fog up, so he took them off with a groan. “About that Madarame...what exactly happened?”

Yusuke froze a little. Would this be an appropriate time to let everything out? All the anguish amongst other complicated feelings that had been building up over the years; should he really tell Akira? This would be something he’d have to take a step at a time. Yusuke licked his lips, debating how to start.

“Madarame...well. You know that he took in pupils and sold their work as his own,” Yusuke started. Akira nodded.

“Yeah. You put up with it for a long time, huh? How come?”

“He raised me,” Yusuke simply said. What else was he supposed to do? He had been trapped. “You don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”

“Aww, so you won’t bite my hand then?” Akira asked with a tiny grin. Yusuke’s expression was quizzical.

“Why would I bite you? I don’t understand,” he said. Akira sighed and put a lid over the pot he was tending to.

“Never mind. Anyway, I’m sorry to hear the guy died, but I’m glad you’re out of that toxic situation,” Akira said. He walked over to Yusuke and placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile. “Don’t feel too bad if it takes you a while to get past that regardless. Everyone heals at their own pace.”

Yusuke glanced down at Akira’s hand. He felt a gentle thud against his chest as his heart started racing a little. “You sure are fond of physical touch,” Yusuke pointed out.

“Better get used to it,” Akira said with a wink, “Seriously, though, if you ever need someone to talk through this Madarame stuff with, I’m all ears. Unless I’m at work of course.”

Akira laughed casually and went back to his curry. It was something Yusuke wouldn’t normally feel uneasy with, but Akira’s job once again came up. Even with the previous times he’d been brushed off when trying to get more information, he just had to know. The suspense was eating at him.

“Where do you work?” Yusuke asked. Akira didn’t flinch or look up. His visual attention remained on the curry and he looked relaxed.

“I suppose I work for Okumura Foods,” Akira said. Yusuke narrowed his eyes. He'd heard the name Okumura thrown around at the festival sign up.

“You suppose? Akira, you either do or you don’t.”

Akira turned his head to look at Yusuke. Even with his glasses off, his expression was unreadable and it nagged at Yusuke’s mind. What was he hiding?

“You could call it freelance work. How’s that for an answer?”

“I am still just as confused as I was a minute ago.”

“Good. That’s what I was going for.”

Akira turned back to the curry and Yusuke groaned. He decided to drop the subject of Akira’s job. It was obvious he was never going to find out what Akira did, and the more he pried, the more shady Akira’s job sounded.

As Yusuke’s mind drifted away from Akira’s profession, the curry was soon done and ready. Yusuke and Akira sat down to eat the curry and chat with each other. At this point, Yusuke was feeling silly and embarrassed for the hysterical state he had ended up in earlier, even more so that Akira caught him. Oddly enough, despite how much he thought continuing to be friendly with Akira would make it worse, it only served to make Yusuke feel better.

It was strange.

Akira was a soothing force for Yusuke.

And honestly...Yusuke didn’t mind one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boy i love me a slow burn fic, but dang are they hard to write. i have to fight the urge to go all "call me maybe" on their butts and say "YOU JUST MET, BUT KISS". anyway woo! i got this chapter done a little faster than usual! and while i can resist the urge to go back on the slow burn, i could not resist throwing in my Haru x Ryuji rarepair lol. I might make a spin off fic about their side of this story, but again it's a rare pair so I'd only be feeding myself xD uhh so yeah! thanks for reading guys! the plot is thickening more than akira's curry >:3


	6. In Which Akira Tries to Help

Living with Akira was...an experience to say the least. For the most part, Yusuke hadn’t been disturbed by the presence of the other boy. If anything, he appreciated the company it would bring. There would be times Yusuke would be stumped for painting inspiration, and Akira would seemingly appear at the right moments with offers to go out for walks, watch movies, whatever seemed to strike his fancy. And never once did Yusuke pass up an offer to spend time with Akira. Though he could only assume Akira had too much free time on his hands.

The tension in the household was small in comparison, but when it showed itself, it was too apparent for Yusuke’s liking. Sometimes he would be deep in thought with a painting only to be interrupted by Akira inviting Ryuji over. The howls of laughter and exaggerated yelling that the blonde was fond of always brought Yusuke out of his artistic mood. It was frustrating to say the least.

On top of Ryuji, there was the odd hours of Akira’s “job.” Granted Yusuke had been warned of this fact up front, he had hoped Akira was exaggerating. Yusuke would hear muffled footsteps and keys jingling in the middle of the night. Sometimes the creaking of the stairs would wake him up. He had mentioned it off-handedly to Akira who gave an earnest apology. For the most part, Yusuke tried to see where Akira was coming from.

The night wasn’t the only time he noticed Akira leaving for his job. A couple of times it happened while he and Yusuke had been hanging out. There was a specific notification tone for this job, and whenever it went off, Akira would stare at his phone with what felt like reluctance before typing a few messages back and forth and ultimately having to bail on Yusuke. It was annoying when it did happen, but he understood that Akira had obligations that took precedence over frivolous outings.

Soon, though, the time Yusuke and Akira would spend together would slow down. Not from anything negative per se, but rather it was from Yusuke having more work.

Yusuke finally heard back from Haru, one of the directors of the art festival he’d entered. She simply said that judging was done and that he was free to come by the park to pick up his painting and portfolio. She didn’t give any clues that he had gotten a spot in the festival, but her voice was chipper. Its perkiness rubbed off on Yusuke, and he had high hopes as he headed straight to the park.

Upon arrival, Yusuke was easily able to locate Haru. She was directing some workers around to set up tents and booths. Off to the side, Yusuke could see Ryuji and Mishima shuffling through and separating many paintings and sculptures to go with their appropriate portfolios, presumably for the other entrants. He was a little surprised to see Ryuji, but immediately connected the dots. Ryuji worked with Akira who worked for Okumura Foods, the business of which was owned by a man that was evidently Haru’s father. _My head spins just sorting it out._ It made sense that Ryuji was helping out.

“Oh hello! You’re Kitagawa, right?” Haru asked, walking over to him. Yusuke was pulled out of his thoughts and he smiled.

“Yes. You have a good memory,” he commented. Haru gave him a smile.

“It’s easy to remember since Akira brought you. Anyway, we have your stuff ready and waiting if you’d follow me,” she explained. Yusuke nodded and obliged. They made their way over to the table where Ryuji immediately took notice of Yusuke. The blonde smiled and gave a loud cheer. Yusuke could feel his face flush with second hand embarrassment.

“Yusuke, man! We’ve got some good news,” Ryuji yelled. Mishima sighed.

“Ryuji...do you always have to jump the gun?”

Good news? Yusuke perked his head up. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he could only assume they meant that Yusuke was chosen to participate in the art festival.

Haru giggled and walked over to Ryuji. “You have his stuff, right?”

Ryuji nodded and handed Yusuke’s artwork to Haru. Their eyes met and their gaze didn’t part for a few moments. Their cheeks were tinted red, and finally Haru broke away and brought Yusuke’s stuff over to him. Yusuke looked over it, absent mindedly running his hand across the binder.

“Thank you. And what of the festival?” Yusuke asked, his gaze going back to Haru’s eyes. She gave him a happy grin.

“Your work was absolutely stunning. We would be honored to have you participate,” Haru said. Yusuke’s eyes widened as joyous relief washed over him. He gave a quick bow, trying to form a coherent sentence to voice his thanks.

“Do not be silly. I should be the one who feels honored. Thank you very much for this opportunity,” Yusuke said. Haru giggled.

“My, so humble. No wonder Akira’s taken a shine to you.”

Yusuke rose back up from his bow, but he had one brow quirked in slight confusion. “A shine?” As soon as he asked that, he heard an annoyed grunt from Ryuji.

“Akira’s been all ‘Yusuke this’ and ‘Yusuke that’ the past few days. You better not be comin’ for my position as best friend, man,” Ryuji said, exaggerated irritation in his tone. There was gentle fluttering in Yusuke’s chest at this information. His cheeks felt a little warm, but he simply brushed it off.

“Fret not, Ryuji. I wouldn’t dream of it,” Yusuke quipped back, walking over to the table with Haru. Unlike his previous visit to the park, he was in no hurry to leave. For one, getting to know Akira’s friends better wasn’t such a bad thing. Of course he was already well acquainted with Ryuji by this point. However, Haru was a sweet and polite girl. It was a nice contrast. The second reason he stuck around was that he still needed information on the real meat and potatoes of the festival.

“Not to hound you with questions, but Akira told me there would be a contest as well? I was wondering how that worked,” Yusuke inquired.

“Oh! My apologies, I completely forgot,” Haru said. She was a bit flustered as she recalled the information. “If you compete, you will need to bring a new painting with you on the first day of the festival -- ah, be sure to come early! -- and from there, the winner will be decided by vote from our patrons.”

“A new painting?” Yusuke’s brows furrowed a little. That was worrisome with his current art block. “And what...day does the festival start again?”

“August 15th,” Mishima hollered over his shoulder. Haru smiled and nodded. Any comfort Yusuke felt just sitting around and talking with these people had flown out the window.

“So...the Saturday after this one?” Yusuke added. His mouth was getting dry.

“We know it’s short notice, but it’s a good way of seeing how you perform under pressure,” Haru explained. Yusuke nodded, trying to maintain an air of calm.

“Understood. In that case, I should head back to my atelier and get started.”

And Yusuke did just that. He bid farewell to the others and rushed back home. It was as if his body was on autopilot. A usual stroll through town would involve Yusuke stopping to appreciate every little detail; cracked pavement, chirping cicadas, and of course the hustle and bustle of fellow pedestrians. Not today. Not this time. A fire had been lit underneath him, and sadly not in a creative sense. If there was something Yusuke didn’t handle well, it was strict deadlines.

Being a man of fair patience, Yusuke liked to take time on his art. He was a perfectionist by nature. Painting for Madarame, Yusuke learned fast what was most detrimental to his work ethic. Many times he would end up whitewashing the same canvas multiple times in a fit of frustration because what he painted wasn’t up to par with his own standards, let alone his sensei’s. Madarame, of course, never had sympathy for Yusuke’s warped sense of perfectionism and would often enforce strict deadlines and threaten to take away “privileges.” The all too familiar feeling of dread was washing over the artist.

So much more was at stake. With Madarame’s case, a missed deadline or subpar painting meant forfeiting meals and his allowance. This exhibition contest had Yusuke’s livelihood at stake. It felt like his only chance to make a name for himself and ensure constant revenue. Then he would never need to trouble Akira for food or to spot him on bills. As Akira had told him before, that would make him resent Yusuke. Right now, as different as it felt to say he truly enjoyed another person's company, he really wanted to keep Akira around.

Practically kicking down the door, Yusuke rushed into his atelier. He went straight for the stairs, and the stomping and creaking made Akira poke his head out of the living room. Yusuke hadn't realized Akira had come home from “work” while he was at the park, and while Yusuke heard what came through as vague mumblings from Akira’s mouth, Yusuke did not hesitate or stop. When his brain was in high stress art mode, his vision and hearing filtered through a funnel.

The only thing he could think about was locking himself in his studio until the painting was finished.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Haru, thanks for breaking my roommate,” Akira said with dry sarcasm. Across the coffee table from him sat Haru, who was about to take a sip of coffee until Akira interrupted her. She tilted her head in confusion.

“What did I do?” she asked with honest innocence. Akira leaned over onto the table and sighed.

“Ever since Yusuke got picked for the Art Festa, he’s just locked himself up in his studio to paint,” Akira explained. He looked down at his own cup of coffee which remained untouched. “I’m pretty sure the only times he actually leaves that room are when he needs to piss.”

“Oh my,” Haru blushed at Akira’s crass description of Yusuke’s actions. “Well at least that means he’s properly hydrated? That’s positive, right?”

Akira tilted his head back in near maniacal laughter only to abruptly replace his feigned amusement with furrowed brows and pursed lips. “Not unless he’s drinking dirty paint water. Which honestly wouldn’t surprise me at this point.” Akira finally took a sip of his coffee.

“Perhaps we could break him out of there. Ryuji and I are going to catch a movie. Maybe you and Kitagawa could join us?” Haru suggested. Akira nearly choked on his coffee. He smacked his chest a couple of times before regaining his composure.

“A double date? No thanks.”

Haru groaned a little and looked down with a flushed face. “Ryuji and I are just going as friends. You know this.”

“Of course. I know. Not dating, engaged to a douche, et cetera,” Akira rambled. He took another sip of his coffee. He was seriously contemplating the offer all things considered. He put his cup down and rested his chin on interlaced fingers. “I guess I could put up with yours and Ryuji’s romantic tension to make sure Yusuke isn’t actually killing himself slowly.”

“I’m so glad! Let’s work on getting Kitagawa out of his room,” Haru said, putting her cup down. Akira gave a nod before standing up. He led Haru up the stairs with him. There was hesitation when Akira stood in front of the door to Yusuke’s studio. He glanced over to Haru who gave him a nod. Finally, he knocked on the door a few times. Suffocating silence. Akira frowned. He wanted to just open the door and walk in, but he didn’t want to invade on Yusuke’s privacy. After all, the last time he did that, he’d caught Yusuke in the middle of crying.

“We might have to let ourselves in,” Haru said, voicing Akira’s fear. He was reluctant.

“I think you’re right,” Akira muttered, void of enthusiasm. He swallowed hard and dry, placing his hand on the doorknob. “Yusuke! Sorry, but I’m coming in!”

A troubled gasp came from both Akira and Haru after he had opened the door. Aside from several canvases strewn about and an easel with a muddied painting on it, the sight of Yusuke seemingly passed out, face down on the hard wooden floor was concerning at best, but mostly horrifying. Akira rushed over to the artist and knelt down beside him, shoving aside a few tubes of paint in the process. Haru followed.

“Dammit Yusuke,” Akira hissed through gritted teeth. He and Haru rolled Yusuke onto his back. His eyes remained closed, but at the very least he was breathing. The little victories were what mattered most, Akira supposed. Yusuke looked so relaxed, it almost pained Akira to wake him up. Haru squirmed a little.

“Look at all that dark red... _liquid_ on his abdomen,” she said, voice cracking a little. “It’s on his palm too...you don’t think? It can’t be…”

“...Blood,” Akira’s face went pale. He started gently slapping Yusuke’s face. “Wake up! Speak to me! Yusuke!”

The lack of response further spooked Akira and Haru, both of which were reaching for their phones to call over a paramedic. Before either of them could finish dialling, an inhuman grunt drudged out of Yusuke’s mouth. They both paused. Yusuke’s eyelids clenched before slowly fluttering open.

“Is it absolutely necessary to yell?” Yusuke asked, voice deep with drowsiness. Akira gave him a quizzical look. For someone who was hemorrhaging, Yusuke sure seemed calm.

“You’re bleeding, Kitagawa!” Haru squeaked, pointing to where his clothes had been stained red. Yusuke sat up, rubbing his head and looked down. His gaze rested on the two of them.

“Hardly. This is just paint,” Yusuke said bluntly. Akira squinted, getting a better look at the stain. Then he looked to the side to see a leaking tube of crimson paint where Yusuke had been lying.

“Oh. Ohhhh. I see now,” Akira mumbled. He hung his head slightly to hide the bright red embarrassment evident on his face. Haru breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

“Thank goodness. We were really worried.”

“You can’t be blamed. An absurd amount of paint has been wasted by my carelessness,” Yusuke said, glancing at the near empty tube. He was legitimately sad, but that wouldn’t spare him from a lecture.

“You passed out on the floor and all you care about is wasting paint? Yusuke, where are your priorities?” Akira’s voice was stern. Yusuke visibly winced.

“That’s…” Yusuke trailed off, trying to think up a good excuse for his behavior. Akira’s furrowed brows relaxed, and his eyes softened. He got on his feet, but kept bent over to offer a hand to Yusuke. It was reminiscent of the night of the housewarming party. With a thoughtful gaze, Yusuke took his hand and stood up.

“Get cleaned up. We’re gonna get dinner and catch a movie with Haru and Ryuji,” Akira said. Yusuke’s eyes drifted to the ground, his hand leaving Akira’s grasp and resting on his other arm.

“I’m afraid I must decline. I cannot afford that, and I simply must try and finish this paint-”

“I’m paying for all of us,” Haru interjected. Yusuke’s eyes immediately lit up, twinkling at the mention of free food. Akira couldn’t help but chuckle. If there was one thing Yusuke never turned down, it was a free meal. As much concern as it made Akira feel about his upbringing, it was also quite the endearing quality.

“Allow me to shower and get changed. It shouldn’t take more than twenty minutes,” Yusuke said, already heading off to his bedroom. Akira and Haru locked eyes and grinned at each other. Akira brought his fist up and Haru stared at it curiously for a moment before mouthing a quiet “oh!”. She bumped his fist with her own and giggled happily.

“How’s that for roommate repair?” Haru asked. Akira gently shook his head, holding back a laugh.

“Not bad, I must say. I think getting him out of his own headspace will be good for his productivity,” Akira said.

“Agreed,” Haru said. She and Akira left Yusuke’s studio to head downstairs and wait. She bit her lip. “Is it unprofessional that I hope he wins the contest? I know I should be unbiased, but I feel like he deserves it.”

“I’m incredibly biased in wanting him to win, but then again Daddy Okumura didn’t put me in charge of this stuff,” Akira replied with a huff. He brought up his hand and rested his chin in the crook of his thumb and index finger. “Tell me, Haru. Don’t you think I look cultured enough to host the festival?”

Haru put a hand in front of her mouth and closed her eyes, laughing at Akira’s act. “Of course I do! You know the circumstances, though. Father has to keep you in the shadows. Ryuji, too. He had to jump through a lot of hoops just to help with festival setup.”

Akira’s false bravado cracked at the reminder. He leaned back against the wall behind him and looked down. He could hear the muffled patter of the shower on the floor above. It would be nigh impossible for Yusuke to overhear their conversation.

“Yusuke keeps badgering me to tell him about my position under your father. Or I guess I should say, under your fiance technically,” Akira muttered, voice hushed just in case. The corners of Haru’s lips fell and she looked down.

“Maybe you should tell him. I doubt he’d leak anything,” she suggested, digging one foot into the floor nervously. Akira shook his head and started twisting his bangs.

“It’s not that I don’t trust him. Well...I guess not in that way,” he started. His gaze shifted to the stairs, eyes trailing up bit by bit. “At first it was because of that, but now…” Akira lowered his hand from his hair and bit on his thumbnail. “I guess I don’t want him to think less of me.”

Silence fell between them. There weren’t any comforting words Haru could throw Akira’s way. She stepped over to him, leaning against the wall and standing by his side. It was all she could do to show her support. A weak smile cracked at Akira’s lips as he hung his head slightly. Even without a single word, the gesture cried out to him. He appreciated it for what it was worth.

The two of them stood in silence for a while until the stairs started to creak. Looking up, Yusuke had finally finished getting ready. Akira adjusted his glasses, his eyes taking in the view. Even when damp, Yusuke’s hair still looked slick and neat. And the boy’s fashion sense, my did Akira admire it. For someone so poor, he owned a good amount of leather. Akira would scold him for spending money frivolously, but for some strange reason, he didn’t want to risk shaming Yusuke out of dressing like this.

Actually, Akira knew the reason. He didn’t like to admit it because it was the first step of crushing, and crushing was a road Akira wasn’t willing to go down.

It was an undeniable fact, though. Yusuke was very attractive.

“Shall we be off?” Yusuke asked. The worried expression on Akira’s face caved into a happy smile. He and Haru stepped away from the wall and walked with Yusuke to the door.

“Where do you wanna eat?” Akira asked. It was technically directed at both of his friends, but specifically he looked to Yusuke.

Even if it would add unnecessary fuel to Akira’s risk of crushing, he decided in that moment that he would support Yusuke to the best of his abilities until the contest was over.

If it meant seeing Yusuke’s eyes light up the way they did whenever he was offered a meal, it would all be worth it in the end.

 _Shit_. The fluttering in Akira’s chest was already a bad sign.

 

* * *

 

Explaining to Ryuji that Haru had invited Akira and Yusuke along on their “totally not a date” could have gone smoother. Especially when Yusuke got to pick where they ate. While not thrilled, the blonde tried his best not to come unglued on Yusuke, especially in front of Haru. It didn’t stop Ryuji’s snarky quips about how the three of them were essentially taking Yusuke out on a date, which only further fueled Akira’s teasing about how Ryuji’s complaints confirmed that this really was supposed to be a date with Haru.

At first it was hard for Yusuke to relax. The nagging thought that he had work to do was souring. It was gratifying when they were finally served their food, though. For a short while, the frenzy of Yusuke’s mind was able to focus. While he hadn’t picked somewhere extravagant, the cuisine was still a lot fancier than he was used to. It was the first real meal he had eaten since he started on his painting, and it took all his willpower not to plow through and inhale it. Instead, he forced himself to slow down and focus on the flavors and textures. Perhaps someday he would be able to recreate such a delicious meal.

As the group finished their meal, it was time to head for the theatre. Akira was insistent that it would be good for Yusuke’s inspiration, though the artist was hesitant. After all, it was a romantic comedy that Haru and Ryuji had agreed upon prior. In other words, not something he considered mentally stimulating. It was neither his nor Akira’s place to protest, though.

“I have my doubts about this,” Yusuke whispered to Akira.

“Artists are open minded right? Let this broaden your horizons,” Akira encouraged. Yusuke huffed a little. It was a valid point.

Valid of a point as Akira may have had, it didn’t stop Yusuke from muttering critiques of the movie under his breath. Perhaps it was inspiring, but in a rather unorthodox way. They had visited on a day where the theatre was particularly empty, which further encouraged Yusuke pointing out logical errors in the writing.

“Is it not all too convenient that the man she slept with turned out to be her mentor at her new job?” Yusuke asked much to the displeasure of Ryuji.

“Dude, it’s a romcom. They gotta set up the sexual tension somehow,” Ryuji argued.

“Well...sure, but why make them have drunk sex first? I fail to see how it’s necessary.”

“It helps with the awkward tension,” Haru added. Yusuke opened his mouth to argue again, but Ryuji interrupted him before he could even try.

“Yusuke, just shut your effin’ brain off. Haru bought you a ticket so you could relax, not turn this whole movie into some...art critique.”

“Ryuji, be nice!” Haru said. Yusuke shook his head.

“No, no. While it was crude, Ryuji has a point. My apologies.”

The conversation fizzled out as everyone’s attention went back to the movie. Try as he might, Yusuke couldn’t suspend his disbelief enough to feasibly fall for the drama the movie was feeding them. As he glanced at Ryuji and Haru, it was obvious the two were invested. Shifting his focus onto Akira, though, it was difficult to say. He was watching in silence. Was Akira able to enjoy something so shallow, meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator? Or was he simply keeping his mouth shut to keep from offending his friends?

It was typical for Yusuke to get lost in his own thoughts. What was starting to become a more common occurrence, though, was getting lost in Akira’s thoughts. Not that Yusuke could ever read his mind or hope to come close. Rather his mental dive focused on all the things that _could_ be going through Akira’s head. Was Akira secretly a sucker for romantic comedies? While the ending of the movie was an obvious happy ever after, maybe Akira cared more about the journey there. All the twists and turns were what kept his attention. His face was stoic, but on the inside he could be thinking so many thoughts. What if the protagonists can’t solve their differences? What if the deal breaking misunderstanding never gets explained? Would the man do something crazy like stand outside the woman’s bedroom window with a boombox, blasting her favorite song and singing along in a final plea for forgiveness?

As Yusuke’s mind drifted, his gaze on Akira didn’t break. It wasn’t until Akira’s eyes drifted over and met Yusuke’s that Yusuke realized he had been boring holes into Akira with his eyes. Yusuke blinked and quickly looked away, a little flustered at being caught. He felt even more ridiculous for trying to assess Akira’s thoughts. Oh it was all too easy for him to obsess over minute details. Yusuke stared back up at the movie screen and tried to shake off the stinging awkwardness.

Come the end of the movie, Yusuke almost found himself falling asleep. He was still a little drowsy from being woken up so abruptly. As it was, he hadn't been sleeping much since starting his painting. Even if he were to lie down and rest, his mind would be running in circles about the pressure, thus rendering him unable to sleep. He had been grown accustomed to painting until his body literally shut down. Madarame would often catch Yusuke asleep on the floor of his studio, and he had always said it was a sign of Yusuke’s hard work. Only later did Yusuke discover it was an unhealthy habit to be encouraged, and he worked on trying to build healthier practices, but old habits die hard.

Despite the urges to roll his eyes, the protagonists of the movie had a few intriguing qualities. Particularly, the girl had self destructive tendencies to say the least. She relied on unhealthy vices like alcohol and sex as a distraction from her actual problems. The boy was sarcastic and fun loving, always trying to help the girl make better choices, disregarding his own in the process. The more the girl grew and healed, the more she could uncover about the boy. It was like their fates were intertwined, and admittedly, Yusuke found it somewhat endearing.

In a way, Yusuke could relate to the girl. While his habits weren’t obviously toxic, they were still tied to past trauma and the reluctance to reach out for help. He wondered if he would meet someone that would try to save him when he was drowning in a sea of anguish. Someone that would encourage healthier habits and look out for him. Someone that he could, in turn, help out as well in thanks.

Perhaps Yusuke could see why Ryuji and Haru liked movies like these, and if Akira did too, then Yusuke figured it wouldn’t hurt to watch more romantic comedies with him in the future.

The movie wrapped up with a happy ending. The boy and the girl finally worked through their misunderstandings and celebrated with a kiss. It was heartwarming to say the least.

Ryuji and Haru walked towards the exit of the theatre, sharing a discussion about the plot amongst themselves. Akira and Yusuke trailed not too far behind. While not as enthusiastic as Ryuji was, having been raving his thoughts, it would have been unlike Yusuke to not discuss a piece of art (even if a bit shallow) with someone.

“While the plot left much to be desired, I will admit the cinematography was not bad. If I had thought to bring my sketchbook, I would have sketched a couple of the scenes,” Yusuke said. Akira chuckled and turned his head to look at the artist.

“It would have been too dark, though, wouldn’t it? Unless you’ve got some wicked night vision.”

“Don’t underestimate my keen eyes, Akira. I ate a lot of carrots growing up,” Yusuke said with a playful smirk. Akira rolled his eyes, lips curved into an amused smile.

“If only I’d eaten more carrots. Then perhaps I wouldn’t need glasses.”

Yusuke stopped and stepped in front of Akira. The latter raised an eyebrow and stared back, wondering what the hold up was. Yusuke stepped backwards and held up his hands, forming a frame with his fingers. With a quiet hum, he came forward again and carefully removed the glasses.

“What are you doing?” Akira asked, flustered. Yusuke did the framing motion again and smiled, handing the glasses back.

“Forgive my abrasiveness. I merely wanted to assure you that your glasses are actually quite a nice touch. They add a shroud of mysteriousness and character to your face,” Yusuke explained, giving Akira a soft smile. He could see Akira’s cheeks light up with a dust of pink.

“I was joking, I mean-- if I really hated them I would just...y’know wear contacts. Uh,” Akira started twirling his bangs again. He smiled back, his eyes and the corners of his lips relaxing into a content smile. “Thank you.”

Yusuke felt an instant thud and flutter in his chest. He was certain his own face was flushed as well, but he did his best to ignore the sensation and keep himself composed. The two of them continued their walk outside of the theatre where Haru and Ryuji had been waiting. Ryuji looked over to them and grinned.

“You two whisperin’ sweet nothings?” he teased.

“No more than you and Haru were,” Akira quipped back. Ryuji hunched over, defeated.

“You make it really hard to tease you, man.”

“Did you two enjoy the movie?” Haru piped up, changing the subject. Yusuke gave her a nod.

“Surprisingly, I found myself thinking a lot during the film. Thank you for inviting me.”

“Anytime! When the festival is over, we should all get together and hang out again,” Haru suggested.

“That sounds like a great idea. I’m sure we’ll all find the time,” Akira affirmed.

With that, Ryuji and Haru took their leave and headed for the subway. The sun was reaching the end of its set, creating a beautiful gradient of the dark blue night sky melting into a dreamy red-orange. Up high, the stars were like glitter, and the moon was illuminating everything. Buildings in the city created a magnificent skyline. Yusuke absolutely loved viewing a sunset such as this. He barely gave his attention to the street in front of him as his eyes continuously drifted back up to the sky.

“It’s a lovely view,” Akira commented, stealing Yusuke’s gaze in the process. The artist nodded.

“A man of culture, I see. Nothing could beat a good sunset or sunrise,” Yusuke said. Akira bit his lip and looked down for a moment. Slowly he lifted his head back up and pushed up his glasses, his eyes focused on Yusuke.

“Have you...ever been to the Planetarium?” Akira asked. Yusuke frowned slightly.

“Never,” he sighed, “I have always wanted to, especially as a child, but Madarame always shut me down when I would ask. Now that I’m older, I suppose I just haven’t had the time nor money.”

“Then that settles it,” Akira said. Yusuke tilted his head, confused. Akira cleared his throat and continued. “We should go there later this week. I think it would be good inspiration for the contest.”

Yusuke blinked slowly, considering it. He really hated the idea of pulling himself away from his work. As it was, he felt like he was slacking. He looked down and crossed his arms. Besides that, Akira would have to pay for him to get in. It was one thing to monopolize Akira’s free time, but Yusuke didn’t want to have to accept any handouts. It pained him to decline, but there seemed to be no other choice.

“I need a raincheck on that. I am truly sorry, but my piece for the contest needs full attention. I appreciate the offer, though.”

As Yusuke watched the hopeful smile on Akira’s face crack, it was one of the only times he wished he couldn’t see past the lenses covering Akira’s eyes. All he could see was disappointment in Akira’s dull reds. It pained Yusuke. Akira licked his lips and turned his head away. All Yusuke could see from that angle was a brave smile plastered on Akira’s face.

“Some other time, then! Just don’t forget to take breaks, okay? I won’t always be there if you pass out.”

Akira’s tone was saccharine. Yusuke didn’t doubt his legitimate concern, but it was laced with a touch of dismissiveness.

“...Understood.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i slow burning right lmao  
> oof, the tension  
> anyway!! thanks for reading!! o: i'm finally to the more detailed parts of my notes, so chapters should be easier and hopefully quicker to write!
> 
> btw check out my tumblr and twitter! i'm yustrology on both. i post drawings of these boys and cry about them too. so yeah. cry about shukita with me lol


	7. In Which Akira Takes Yusuke Out

Every day, despite Yusuke turning Akira down on going to the planetarium, Akira would knock on the door to Yusuke’s studio in failed attempts to get the artist out of his own headspace. The Art Festival was, by this point, four days away, and there was no sign that Yusuke was any closer to finishing his piece than he was when he started. Akira couldn’t help but feel at fault since he had told Yusuke about the contest in the first place. He feared that the only thing that would metaphorically wake Yusuke up and make him realize he was acting ridiculous would be if he grew ill from fatigue.

In front of the door to Yusuke’s studio, Akira stood. Still. Quiet. His head was tilted downward, casting his eyes in a dark shroud. Once more, he wanted to try and get Yusuke to go somewhere,  _ anywhere _ with him. All Akira wanted was to help. Expecting a different result, though, was the literal definition of insanity. Even still, Akira knocked on the door. As usual, no response. Akira had come to learn that Yusuke tended to get so focused that he couldn’t hear a peep around him. Of course there was the possibility that Yusuke had passed out. Akira grimaced, as almost a whole minute went by without response.

“Yusuke, I support the shit out of you, but you’re acting ridiculous!” Akira yelled. Once again, no response. Following another full minute, enough was enough. Akira slammed the door open and stomped into the studio, making a beeline for where Yusuke sat in front of his easel. An all too familiar canvas that had grown conspicuously thick with what must have been two liters of white paint by that point sat on it with only a few traces of red and black paint. Yusuke was hunched over on his stool, mindlessly mixing paint on his pallet in different combinations. If anything, the pallet looked more like a finished piece than the actual painting.

This wasn’t about Akira wanting Yusuke’s company. This wasn’t even about getting Yusuke some fresh air. It was clear that Yusuke was holding onto reality by a single thread, and Akira was determined to make him spill the beans and explain where all the perfectionist reluctance was coming from. It was time for an intervention.

Obviously words were not going to snap Yusuke out of his daze, so Akira shook him. “Yusuke. It’s been days, and all you’ve managed to do is make every possible shade of brown known to man.”

Yusuke stopped what he was doing. His body was still as his pallet slid out of his hand and fell onto the floor, his brush following not too long after. The tension was thick, but Akira wasn’t going to back down. “Yusuke.”

After a few seconds, the artist finally turned around and looked at Akira. Exhaustion presented itself on his face as dark bags under his eyes, those of which were a little glossy with an indication of tears being fought back. His brows were furrowed, and his mouth was shut in a tight line. He looked tired, frustrated. Akira felt for him. It was a look he’d worn several times before.

“Is it important?” Yusuke finally asked. His voice was small, and it sounded every bit as fragile as he looked. “I need to finish.”

“Finish  _ what _ ? I’m not an expert on art, but I don’t think those smears on your canvas count as an abstract piece,” Akira said. His words were harsh, but he was tired of sugarcoating and allowing Yusuke to run himself ragged over something so menial and petty.

“I am quite aware of my lack of progress! And this--” Yusuke threw out his arms, gesturing to Akira and the space around him. “--this is not helping!”

“Yeah? Neither is locking yourself in here without food and ignoring your tired body until you pass out. Correct me if I’m wrong, but this doesn’t really seem to be working for you either.”

Akira could tell Yusuke’s resolve was crumbling. His breathing became heavier as his hands clenched his pant legs. Akira crouched down in front of him, placing his hands over Yusuke’s tired fingers. He looked up at Yusuke’s face. “Hey. Look at me,” Akira said, quiet yet assertive. Yusuke struggled to make eye contact, but he did. Akira took one deep breath, held it for a couple of seconds, and let it out. “Breathe with me. It’ll help.”

At first it felt like Yusuke was still resisting, but soon he started timing his breaths at the same time as Akira. The corners of Akira’s lips curved upward. They continued breathing until Yusuke finally seemed to calm down. Akira stood from his crouch and offered a hand to Yusuke. The artist took it and stood up. His cheeks were dusted a dull pink.

“I...have no idea what came over me. But thank you,” Yusuke said, avoiding eye contact. A gentle sigh escaped Akira’s lips.

“It’s not a problem,” Akira muttered. After a couple of seconds, his eyelids narrowed and he shook his head. “Actually, scratch that. It  _ is _ a problem. You can’t keep working like this.”

Yusuke looked over to the canvas sitting on his easel. There was no way he could possibly argue at this point. It had been a week or so, and he hadn’t made a lick of progress.

“I haven’t any luck thinking straight,” Yusuke admitted. “It feels like my head is full of static, and I keep getting stuck in my own thoughts.”

Akira frowned and stepped closer. “Come downstairs and  _ talk _ to me. Bottling your feelings isn’t doing you any good.”

A few silent seconds went by before Yusuke finally caved. He nodded, his eyes finally meeting Akira’s. “Okay.”

Frown rising into a smile, Akira turned around and started towards the stairs. Yusuke trailed close behind. Much to Yusuke’s surprise, when they made it into the living room, there were two cups of tea sitting on the coffee table. Akira walked over to one side of the table and sat down as Yusuke took claim to the other.

“I would have made coffee, but what with the caffeine and you being a shut in-- I figured you were dehydrated enough,” Akira explained, much to Yusuke’s chagrin. Neither one of them spoke. Akira took a sip on his tea. “So...what's bothering you?”

Yusuke hesitated on answering. He took a sip out of his own cup. After contemplation, he finally opened up. “The stress of the deadline was far more intimidating than I had anticipated. I was completely caught off guard.”

“You really don't perform under pressure, do you?” Akira commented. Yusuke shook his head.

“Some pressure is good. But this...I suppose it brought forth a lot of repressed feelings.”

“What exactly do you mean by that?”

Yusuke pursed his lips, swallowing. His eyes wouldn’t focus on anything. They fluttered all around the room as he tried to put his thoughts into words. “When Madarame was alive, he put a lot of pressure on me. His deadlines were strict, and punishment always followed when one was missed, not to mention if the work wasn’t satisfactory.”

After a quick pause for a sip of tea, Yusuke continued. “Truth be told, I've felt lost and confused since his passing. I cannot paint anything satisfactory. I used to be able to find beauty and inspiration in anything…”

“And now?” Akira pressed.

Yusuke’s grip on his cup tightened, a slight scowl forming on his face.

“Now my view has been tainted, almost as if Madarame’s ghost is haunting me.  _ Mocking _ me.”

Akira sipped on his tea, taking into consideration what Yusuke had said up to that point. A frown found its way onto his face. “In other words, what used to be an inspiring escape for you is now just a way to make ends meet,” Akira mused. Yusuke looked down and slowly nodded.

“I have not only forsaken my canvas, but I’ve also forsaken myself. I’ve become what I hate,” Yusuke said. He nervously drummed his fingers against his cup. “I need to start over. Learn to love art as art again, rather than a source of revenue.”

“I hate to burst your bubble, but the first step to that is to stop starving and isolating yourself,” Akira pointed out. Yusuke winced a little. He had been expecting that.

“I realize this. Sadly, this is merely what I’m used to,” Yusuke said as a bitter smile cracked at his lips. “‘ _ You can eat once you’ve finished your work _ ’ as Madarame has always said. If I argued, I’d be slapped or guilt tripped. I’m afraid it has proven...difficult to break what’s been conditioned into me since childhood.”

It took much restraint to avoid shouting that Madarame was a humungo dildo. Every time Akira got more details about Yusuke’s childhood under Madarame’s roof, he grew more and more angry. He wished that he could have met Yusuke sooner; that he could have helped Yusuke out of such an unhealthy living situation. No one deserved to live like that, and while Madarame was long gone, it was clear as day that he still had a hold on Yusuke’s mind. Akira looked down at his tea. He gripped the cup, a scowl quickly forming on his features.

“You mean to tell me you were  _ starved _ until he was satisfied with your art? It’s like he didn’t even see you as human…” Akira growled. Between Haru’s father and Madarame, Akira wasn’t sure who the bigger scum of the Earth was. He had no idea how adults could abuse their children with no remorse. It was humorous. Usually Ryuji would be the one to get so fired up about such a concept. Usually Akira could keep a more level head.

“Akira…” Yusuke frowned. “It’s all in the past now. It was not my intention to anger you.”

“You’ve done nothing wrong, Yusuke.  _ Nothing _ ,” Akira whispered. Yusuke tilted his head. Akira didn’t even notice himself rising to his feet, but before he knew it, he was on the other side of the coffee table next to Yusuke. He pulled the artist into a hug. Yusuke tensed up for a few moments before slowly moving his arms to rest on Akira’s back.

“Akira,” Yusuke repeated, this time with a soft chuckle. “What are you doing?” Obviously Yusuke knew literally what Akira was doing, but the reasoning escaped him. Akira returned his laugh and backed away slightly to look Yusuke in the eyes.

“I guess I got the impression that you haven’t been hugged enough in your life,” Akira explained, his tone much softer than it had been previously. “We could all use one from time to time.”

A smile found its way onto Yusuke’s face. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to indulge in the hug. “Thank you. You’re truly kind.”

The embrace had lingered for what felt like a long time, but both Akira and Yusuke hadn’t felt uncomfortable or burdened by it. Eventually Akira parted from the hug, but not out of obligation. Rather, he had an idea he wanted to run by Yusuke. It was something he had pitched before, but was turned down on. Akira hoped that this time, Yusuke would accept.

“Let’s build some good work habits, okay?” Akira said. Yusuke nodded in agreement.

“Yes, that would be good. What do you have in mind?”

Akira grinned sheepishly. He fiddled with his glasses for a moment, ignoring the growing heat glowing on his cheeks. “Well...I still want to take you to the planetarium. It shouldn’t be especially busy today. How ‘bout it?”

This time, there was no way Yusuke could turn him down. Anything to get him out of the atelier would be a welcome change at this point, let alone a place he had been looking forward to going after the festival.

“That would be lovely,” Yusuke said. What would have been a ginger, ethereal moment was quickly shot down by a loud rumble from Yusuke’s stomach. The artist looked down, his cheeks soon mirroring Akira’s own pink face. Akira bursted out laughing. As embarrassed as Yusuke thought he should feel, he couldn’t help but join in the laughter.

“We’ll catch a bite somewhere first. Y’know, before your stomach eats itself in frustration.”

Yusuke stood up. This time, it was him that offered his hand to Akira. It was a little shocking, but Akira didn’t question it. He took Yusuke’s hand and rose to his feet. As the two of them went upstairs, each of them needing to get ready, a grin had plastered itself onto Akira’s face. He was uncertain of what made him so happy. Could it be that his plan was successful? Or perhaps it was that he felt closer to Yusuke.  It definitely wasn’t doing wonders for the crush he’d been desperately trying to stave off. However, he felt like he was at the very least succeeding in shining a light in Yusuke’s life. If he could help Yusuke feel better and improve himself, Akira didn’t care how hard he fell and how hurt he would in turn become.

To see Yusuke smile? That would make everything worth it.

 

* * *

 

Yusuke’s mind was a frenzy, and for once, it wasn’t due to the turmoil of his own thoughts. The static inside his head was a result of the actions of Akira Kurusu. It wasn’t the first time Yusuke had gone out with Akira one on one, but there was something... _ different _ this time. The thought of being alone with the frizzy haired boy made Yusuke’s heart beat a little faster, and he found himself wiping the sweat of his palms on his pant legs. The sensation was one he felt when asking Madarame for favors of when having his work critiqued by said man. Yusuke could identify it as nerves.

But why would spending time with Akira make Yusuke nervous? He couldn’t for the life of him figure it out.

There was one possible reason, Yusuke supposed, but the very notion was absurd.

It was unlike Yusuke to have romantic interest in people.

Granted Yusuke had known since his early teen years what his preferences were, and there were plenty of hidden sketchbooks filled with studies of the male form that he had to keep hidden from Madarame, Yusuke never seriously considered the prospect of dating. Until now, that is.

They had gone to a beef bowl shop for dinner. They found a small table and sat on either side. In any normal circumstance, Yusuke would be able to shut his brain off and enjoy his meal. However, his gaze couldn’t help but drift back to Akira. A small part of Yusuke felt bad. He was starting to lose count of how many times since meeting that Akira had fed him. This had to be against the roommate rules, right? Yusuke realized they had never agreed on house rules in the first place. However, Akira did state once that if he had to constantly spot Yusuke for food and bills, he’d resent Yusuke.

“Is your food not aesthetically pleasing?” Akira asked with a smirk. Yusuke looked down at his food and back up to Akira. He swept aside a couple of hairs that had fallen out of place.

“It looks and tastes fine. Why do you ask?”

“Well you’ve just been picking at it. I would have thought you’d be a lot hungrier,” Akira said with a frown.

“Ah. Don’t get me wrong. I’m indeed famished,” Yusuke trailed off. He averted his gaze to the window, avoiding Akira’s eyes. “You mustn’t always pay for my food. I feel a tad guilty.”

Akira paused for a moment. Yusuke took a glance to make a futile attempt at reading his expression. He couldn’t tell much. Perhaps he had come off as ungrateful?

“You’re my friend,” Akira simply stated. Yusuke felt a slight jolt in his chest. How odd. He had no idea why such a statement would elicit a reaction like that.

“Friends perhaps, but doesn’t this create a conflict of interest as roommates?” Yusuke asked. The quizzical look Akira gave him was a sign that he needed to rephrase his question. “What I mean is, doesn’t this count as ‘spotting me for food?’ You’ve made it clear that this behavior makes me a bad roommate.”

Akira chuckled, swallowing a bite of food. “Don’t read into things so much. It’s different if I offer, right? I’m just trying to help a friend out.”

“So...this hasn’t caused you to feel any ill will towards me?” Yusuke cautiously asked. More laughter came from Akira.

“Not at all. I really enjoy your company, Yusuke. You’re refreshing to be around,” Akira explained, his eyelids relaxing and mouth forming a soft, smile. His expression was warm, not to mention infectious. Yusuke could feel his heart beating faster. He closed his eyes and lowered his head to take in the smell of his food.

“Very well. I’m flattered,” Yusuke said, properly digging into his food. He couldn’t voice it, but he thought it.  _ I quite like your company as well. _

The two of them continued to eat their meal. It was typical for a comfortable silence to fall in between them, but this time was different. Akira would ask Yusuke questions. He prodded for more info and stories from Yusuke’s past, but they weren’t about Madarame’s abuse. As good as it felt to open up about past traumas, Yusuke was grateful for the opportunity to exchange stories about his happier memories. Childhood art contests he’d won and been praised for; the time when he and a couple of Madarame’s other pupils had replaced Madarame’s shampoo with purple gouache as a prank; and most importantly, his artistic awakening.

Yusuke spoke of a painting called  _ Sayuri _ . It was Madarame’s most famous work, and the moment Yusuke had laid eyes on it as a child, he was overcome with so much emotion and inspiration. He took out his phone and unlocked it, showing Akira the picture set as his background.

“This is the  _ Sayuri _ ,” Yusuke said. Akira adjusted his glasses for a better look.

“You’re right. It’s a beautiful painting,” Akira admitted. He sighed a little. “I hate to compliment Madarame, though.”

Yusuke winced a little. “Allegedly Madarame painted it. I’m...not so certain I still believe that.”

“You think he always plagiarized?” Akira softly asked. Yusuke looked down and slowly shook his head. He put his phone back in his pocket and fidgeted with the straw in his cup a little.

“A few days before Madarame ‘died,’ he gave me a box,” Yusuke started. Akira quirked an eyebrow and leaned forward a little. With a shaky breath Yusuke continued. “He instructed me to open it upon his death, as there were many things he couldn’t tell me himself.”

Akira pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “That’s so fucking strange. And you think that was his cryptic way of admitting to stealing his most famous work?”

“Perhaps. Given the circumstances of his death,” Yusuke said, picking at his food again. There was a peculiar look in Akira’s eyes. They widened, as if he’d had a realization.

“Wait, wait, wait. Let’s back this up. He gives you a box, tells you not to open it until he dies, and then a few days later he conveniently up and dies?” Akira narrowed his eyes and frowned. His voice became more hushed. “Yusuke...you didn’t murder him, did you?”

Despite the serious tone the conversation had taken, Yusuke couldn’t help but let out a hearty laugh. It was such an outlandish deduction, and not at all what Yusuke had thought Akira would come up with. He took a sip of his drink, a smile on his face. Akira couldn’t help but smile too.

“How very strange. I was unaware that I came off so vengeful,” Yusuke said, his tone lighter than it should have been.

“Should I sleep with one eye open?” Akira asked with a grin. Yusuke put a finger to his chin in thought.

“You may find it difficult to sleep if you kept an eye open.”

Akira’s laugh was gentle and comforting. “Yusuke...you’re amazing.”

Simple words they were, but they turned Yusuke’s heart into a fireplace. Warm, serene. The heat rose to his cheeks. After all the stress he’d been under, it was nice to feel such a sensation. It was new in all the best ways possible.

Not wanting to go into the specifics of what really happened to Madarame, nor dig into the topic of whether or not he’d opened the box (he hadn’t), Yusuke let their banter stray further and further away from that topic. Soon enough, they had finished their meal, any talkings of Madarame long since passed, and it was off to the planetarium.

To say Yusuke was excited was an understatement.

While he wasn’t jumping up and down nor screeching about his enthusiasm, there was a content smile on his face and a skip to his step. It didn’t go unnoticed by Akira, but rather than point it out and tease him about it, Akira chose to keep quiet and silently enjoy seeing this different side of Yusuke.

As they went inside, Yusuke decided to walk around a little bit before they went straight into the theatre. There were various space related paintings and sculptures. Akira didn’t argue at all. They still had time before the show for that evening started. He followed Yusuke around and listened to Yusuke’s ramblings about the techniques the artists used. Needless to say that it was all Greek to Akira, but he didn’t dare ask Yusuke to stop. Not only was it cute, but this had to be good for his art block.

“You can tell this artist had quite the delicate hand. The detailing of the stars is very small and subtle. When you come close, you can tell they used stippling to create the gradient. A sign of true patience. When you back away…”

Yusuke took a few steps back and took in the view.

“It all comes together so cohesively. I would love to try something like this.”

“Hmm. Maybe you could do an astronomy themed painting for the contest?” Akira suggested. Yusuke nodded, smiling brightly.

“That’s a wonderful idea. It may be a bit cliche on the surface, but this is the most inspired I’ve felt in months,” Yusuke turned to look at Akira. His expression softened. “I would love to commemorate tonight by preserving it onto a canvas.”

“If you’re already this inspired, just wait until the light show. You’re gonna be blown away,” Akira said. He nodded his head towards the theatre, hoping Yusuke got the hint that it was about time to head inside.

“Let us go in then. I certainly hope it lives up to expectations,” Yusuke said, walking towards the door to the theatre. Akira followed beside him.

The duo made their way into the theatre. Just as Akira had said earlier that day, it wasn’t very busy. They had their pick of the seats. Opting for a fairly secluded section, the two of them sat down and turned their attention to the main attraction before them. It was a zodiac themed light show, showcasing various constellations from both western and Chinese origins. It was pretty fascinating. Maybe Yusuke could incorporate a constellation into his piece for the festival?

As the show went on, Yusuke kept cycling through different ideas in his mind. While he couldn’t narrow anything specific down, it was different from how his art block had been. Beforehand, his head would feel like empty noise. If he thought about putting paint to a canvas, he would feel like a heavy weight was oppressing him. It was exhausting. Now, he almost couldn’t wait to go home and start sketching concepts. And it was all thanks to Akira for meddling. As nosy as the other boy had been, Yusuke felt like he would have withered away in his own loneliness otherwise.

The painting was occupying Yusuke’s thoughts, but slowly Akira was too. His eyes kept creeping over to Akira’s side, taking in glances of his profile. Akira’s eyes were focused on the light show. While his inspiration needed to be focused on the painting, Yusuke also found himself wanting to draw Akira. It was a thought that had crossed his mind a few times since...well since they met really. At least since the big meeting when Akira had toured the shack. It was usually just a passing thought.

_ I’d like to capture his expression. _

_ He looks focused. I’d like to draw that. _

_ Interesting how his hair is always messy yet neat. It might be fun to sketch. _

_ The way he wipes sweat from his brow as he focuses on making curry is a very subtle movement. Subtlety that might not be hard to practice drawing. _

_ Akira has the tendency to twist his hair between his fingers. It’s pretty endearing. I’d like to draw that so I can always look back on it when I get the craving. _

And so on. The more he got to know Akira, the more he noticed about the boy. The more he wanted to draw. Again, though, using boys as models had been highly discouraged by Madarame. In high school, if Yusuke saw a girl that he wanted to draw, he would ask her to model without hesitation. If they agreed, he would have new work to show Madarame. If they declined, he felt like he hadn’t lost anything. With boys, though...that was a lot more complicated.

Even just attending figure drawing classes with male models made Yusuke feel like he was doing something wrong. The only time he’d attend them was for class. Then he had an excuse to fall back on if Madarame questioned him. It always felt very self indulgent, though. And while Yusuke had seen boys he’d wanted to draw all throughout his teen years leading up to adulthood, he would never stop them in the street to ask. Rather, he would guiltily sketch down how they looked in his memory in a secret, hidden sketchbook.

For the longest time, his desire to draw the male form felt like a dirty secret he had to keep to himself. The more he felt he wasn’t allowed to draw it, the greater his desire grew. It was in line with his own romantic and sexual interests. His attraction to men was undeniable, yet he still found himself feeling guilty for something he couldn’t change or control. For that reason, he had been hesitating on asking Akira to model for him. What if Akira took it the wrong way? What if he thought Yusuke was just some predatory pervert that only wanted to see him naked? What if he mistook the request for Yusuke trying to flirt with him?

Yusuke knew he was reading way too far into it. He knew that Akira would probably be cool with it. Yet the anxiety was still present. While Yusuke couldn’t deny that he was indeed attracted to Akira and that perhaps romantic interest was forming, that honestly was not what this was about. This was all for his creative process. It was a risk he needed to take. Even if Akira said no. Even if asking would creep Akira out. Yusuke felt his heart was in the right place, and that’s what really mattered.

As the light show came to an end and the theatre started to filter out, Yusuke knew that it was as good of a time as any to ask Akira to model for him. The two of them stood up and started walking out of the theatre. The words were getting caught in Yusuke’s throat. He wasn’t sure how the best way to ask was.

“So, did you like the show? Was it everything you ever dreamed of?” Akira asked.

Yusuke snapped out of his thoughts for a moment. “Oh, yes, quite. It was marvelous.” Maybe this could be a good segue for his question. “In fact, I have a lot of ideas for my painting now.”

“That’s awesome! I know whatever you paint will look incredible in the end,” Akira said with a smile. A smile that could melt Yusuke’s heart. The artist folded his arms and was happy that the dim lighting in the theatre was likely sufficient enough to hide his blushing cheeks.

“I’m sure it will,” Yusuke swallowed and took in a deep breath. “By the way, I was wondering…”

“Ooo I think I can read your mind,” Akira interrupted. Yusuke tilted his head, wide eyed.

“T-truly?”

“Yeah! I think we should totally get ice cream on the way home,” Akira said. Yusuke could practically feel himself deflate. Not that ice cream didn’t sound good, of course, it was just…

“That was not my suggestion,” Yusuke said.

“Did you want to get crepes instead?” Akira asked. Yusuke shook his head.

“Keep your mind off dessert for one minute, please. I was wondering if you...ah…” Yusuke sighed and turned his head away from Akira. “Actually, nevermind. Ice cream is good.”

Akira’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. He grabbed Yusuke by the arm and stopped him. “No, now I’m curious. What’s up?”

Yusuke bit his lip and avoided Akira’s gaze. “I was hoping that perhaps I could…” Yusuke hesitated, his hand moving up to rub the back of his neck. “Could...get you to model for me?”

“Is that all?” Akira asked. He thought for a moment. “Nude or clothed?”

Yusuke swallowed, still avoiding Akira’s eyes. “That would be up to you.”

After a small pause, Akira shrugged. “Yeah, sure. As long as it helps you, I don’t mind.”

Yusuke’s eyes finally met Akira’s. It didn’t seem like Akira was lying to spare Yusuke’s feelings. “Not to sound like Ryuji, but...are you for real?”

“Yes, Yusuke. I’d love to model for you. I’m actually really flattered that you asked,” Akira said. He was smiling. There was no reason for Yusuke to doubt him at that point. The corners of Yusuke’s lips curled up.

“Thank you. I promise to depict you in only the best light.”

“Aren’t there only good sides to me?” Akira asked, putting his hands on his hips. Yusuke chuckled. Akira sure was full of surprises. Akira walked ahead to the door and held it open for Yusuke. “Now then. About that ice cream.”

“Lead the way,” Yusuke said, walking through the doorway.

It was incredible. Taking risks really did pay off in the end.

Yusuke’s feelings flared inside of him. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe he really was falling for Akira. For the sake of not complicating his feelings further, at least until after the festival, Yusuke decided that the new passion born within him was because he had found himself a muse.

A witty, handsome, yet intelligent and caring muse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've officially reached a point where a lot of the notes I've written for this fic are no longer relevant because the directions in plot kind of took a life of their own. Initially I was going to have a certain detective prince come in around here to conveniently spill the truth about Akira's mysterious shady job, but it didn't really fit? So I think next chapter during the festival, it might finally get revealed since it's an Okumura sponsored event and Akira sort of works for Okumura (all will be revealed I swear).
> 
> ANYWAY!! Thanks again for reading!! I have no idea how many people are actually keeping up with this mess of a slow burn, but I appreciate all of you xD uhhh again, my tumblr and twitter are also yustrology. So feel free to check out my drawings and cry about shukita with me.
> 
> Okay, yeah, have a good day!


	8. In Which Secrets are Told

Judgement Day had finally arrived. And by Judgement Day, that of course was how Yusuke saw the Art Festival. Out of the allotted time he had to complete a whole painting, he had only managed to realistically utilize three days. As it was, the paint barely even dried before he had to leave. When all was said and done, and he finally put his brush down, he was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t his best work in technique, but for concept, Yusuke found himself beaming with pride.

Yusuke’s style tended to favor the abstract. He liked to make a statement with his art, leaving the audience to debate what the meaning of the painting was. In this case, though, there was nothing to debate. He had painted his feelings. It was the manifestation of his newfound inspiration. His appreciation for Akira at this point knew no bounds. Sure, Akira was just caring for Yusuke as he probably would any friend in such a situation. Maybe Yusuke wasn’t anyone particularly special to Akira. Perhaps, though, that made Akira more appealing.

Akira was undoubtedly a kind person, always willing to lend a hand to whomever may need it. He would probably give you the shirt off his back if need be. Yusuke found it silly that Akira tried to hide one of his best qualities under a shroud of sarcasm and sass. Of course, he wouldn’t rule out the possibility that Akira was just naturally a little snarky. There were a few times that Akira’s mask had begun to crumble, though. Yusuke wanted to see the other facets of Akira. He just had to learn more about the boy.

“Yusuke! I’m back from Leblanc. Sojiro said we could borrow his car to bring your stuff to the festival,” Akira hollered, coming through the front door. Yusuke poked his head out from the living room and couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Akira, still wearing his green apron.

“How kind of Sojiro. Send him my regards the next time you volunteer,” Yusuke said. Akira walked over and followed him into the living room. There was a slew of finished paintings strung out. Since Yusuke would not only be entering the contest, but also running a booth, it seemed like the perfect time to unload all the paintings he had created over the years. A majority of them were rejected by Madarame while the man was still alive, but there were a few originals from after his death among the collection.

Akira whistled, putting his hands on his hips. “Damn you’re talented. I can’t believe you haven’t managed to sell any of these.”

“It likely doesn’t help that I hadn’t put effort into trying,” Yusuke said with a sigh. “To be frank, I wasn’t certain they held much merit.”

“Merit-schmerit, I’m sure anyone would love to hang some of these up in their home.”

While Akira had no real eye for fine art, Yusuke still felt giddy from the praise. He smiled and started picking up a few of the paintings. Akira followed suit.

“Hey, I’ll handle taking these to the car. You should go up and get your piece for the contest,” Akira suggested, gently taking the canvases out of Yusuke’s arms. Before Yusuke could protest, Akira turned around and headed for the door.

“Very well, if you insist,” Yusuke said. The artist made his way for the stairs. Despite everything, he didn’t feel as nervous as he felt he should. It wasn’t out of blind confidence. Yusuke knew there was a huge chance he wouldn’t win the contest. The cash prize and exposure via an exhibition were but a pipe dream. However, Yusuke was no longer seeing through tunnel vision. If he didn’t win, that wouldn’t be the end. He would figure something out. He always did.

Yusuke was determined to return the favor for Akira. He wanted to give back. He had the will, so there would without a doubt be a way.

Walking into his studio, Yusuke stopped to look around. He took in a huge breath of air. He held it for a few seconds and let it out. A grin found itself on his face.

“There’s no longer an oppressive air in here,” Yusuke murmured to himself. He went for the easel and grabbed the finished painting. It was thankfully dry by that point. He did his best not to touch the actual painting. After all, hand oils weren’t good for art that was meant to be preserved. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been satisfied with the end result of a painting.

Yusuke took a fairly big piece of red fabric and wrapped it around the canvas. Not only did he want to protect it from any potential damage that could happen on the way to the festival, but he also wanted to keep it a surprise for Akira. It had been difficult to keep Akira out of his studio while he worked on it, which was his own fault for neglecting his needs for so long. It was silly, but he wanted to put off Akira’s reaction for as long as possible. At least until the official showcase. The showcase would be when Yusuke would explain to the patrons what his vision was.

It would be much less nerve wracking to explain if it felt like he was explaining it to Akira directly. 

“Yusuke, are you ready? We gotta head soon!” Akira’s voice echoed from the staircase. Hesitating for a second, Yusuke hugged the painting close to his chest. Finally, he left his studio and headed downstairs, meeting Akira at the bottom.

“I’ve never felt more ready in my life,” Yusuke said. Akira chuckled.

“Did you just walk out of a manga? C’mon, let’s get in the car.”

With a nod in agreement, Yusuke followed Akira outside. He stopped to lock the front door, only to be met with the impatient yelling of Ryuji from the passenger seat.

“I’m so bored! What’s takin’ ya so long?”

Yusuke sighed and tilted his head to Akira. “Why was it that you chose not to warn me that Ryuji would be joining us?”

“It’s revenge for not letting me see your painting,” Akira said with a smirk. It was hard for Yusuke to stay irritated with him. Besides that, Yusuke didn’t really have anything against Ryuji. Rather, he was just looking forward to a quiet car ride with Akira.

“Very cheeky,” Yusuke said. He walked over to the passenger side of the car. Ryuji had his window rolled down, to which Yusuke bent over slightly to talk to him. “I want the front seat.”

Ryuji quirked an eyebrow. “Then you shoulda called shotgun first.”

“That’s outrageous. How would I ever have known you’d claim the front seat before I could?”

“None of my concern, dude! Sucks to suck,” Ryuji said, laughing and pointing his thumb to the back seat. Yusuke knew it was tongue in cheek, but he was still offended. He looked over to Akira, who was settling into the driver’s seat.

“Ryuji is being quite obstinate. Please tell him to move for me,” Yusuke requested. Akira snorted.

“Sorry, Yusuke. The front seat is a best friend privilege. I can’t just change the rules. You understand, right?”

Yusuke could not believe the nerve of Akira. He was  _ devastated _ . Slight hyperbole. In all truth, while Akira’s words had stung, Yusuke wasn’t all too surprised. After all, Akira and Ryuji went back all the way to high school. It made sense that Ryuji would get special treatment. That didn’t mean Yusuke wouldn’t try to get just as close to Akira, though. Not that he had any intentions of usurping Ryuji’s role as ‘best friend.’ Aside, he had already promised not to do that. Yusuke wasn’t even sure what he was aiming for.

_ Boyfriend, perhaps? _

No, preposterous. Yusuke shook the very thought out of his head.

Seeing no reason to argue at that point, he opened the door behind Ryuji’s seat and climbed in, gently pushing a few paintings aside. He sat as close to the middle as possible. Chances were they’d get to talking about something Yusuke had no interest or experience in, and he’d get unintentionally left out of the conversation anyway. It was a common occurrence. However, he at least wanted a fighting chance.

The drive to the park had gone about as well as Yusuke expected. He did his best to interject, but the subject had quickly changed to some video game that Akira and Ryuji liked to play with someone named Futaba. Yusuke had never touched a single video game in his life, so it all flew right over his head. There had been an offhand comment of introducing Yusuke to this Futaba individual, which piqued his interest. Thus far, Akira had a good taste in friends. Though, he did only have Ryuji, Haru, and a couple of quick exchanges with Mishima to gauge from. Still, he wouldn’t be opposed to meeting more.

Arriving at their destination, they exited the car to see an array of artists scrambling around the park, messing around with tents and booths. Yusuke did his best not to view them as simply competition, but it was hard. After all, at least half of these people were likely contest entrants as well.  _ Positive thoughts _ . Yusuke kept reminding himself, it was important to think positive thoughts.

The trio started to grab paintings out of the car. They weren’t entirely sure where to go, but luckily Haru’s head of fluffy hair wasn’t too difficult to spot. Ryuji practically dropped his canvases to run over and say hi. A sharp glare from Yusuke kept the blonde grounded in reality.

“Haru!! We brought a Yusuke!” Ryuji yelled. The brunette’s head quickly snapped up and looked over. A smile beamed on her face as she strolled over.

“Kitagawa, welcome! I’m sorry I don’t have much time to chat,” Haru said, shrugging a little. She nodded her head to the side. “Your stand will be under the Painters’ Tent. Just go set up your paintings for display, and then come bring your piece over to the Contest Tent over there.”

“Will do. Thank you very much for all of your help these past two weeks,” Yusuke said, giving a curt bow. Haru shook her head, giggling.

“Don’t be silly! That’s what I’m here for.”

Yusuke began to take a couple of steps, Akira trailing not too far behind. It seemed that Ryuji was distracted, trying to talk to Haru and in turn distracting her. Typically, Akira would call Ryuji over and tease him for being so mesmerized by Haru’s beauty. If it were any other day, Yusuke might make an dry remark about the chemistry and tension between Ryuji and Haru.

As fate would have it, the Art Festival was no ordinary two days, and Yusuke was about to be clued in on the first sign that maybe Akira and Ryuji had a good reason to keep their job a secret.

Right as Akira was about to open his mouth to hound Ryuji, the air turned cold. Akira froze. Yusuke looked at him expectantly. Concerned. It was then that Yusuke glanced back to Ryuji and Haru to see a clean cut gentleman in a white business suit approaching them. It was safe to say, based on Akira’s reaction, that this man was not a friend.

“Sakamoto...I had no idea Okumura put you on festival staff,” the man said, voice thick with a smarmy phoniness. Ryuji was just as stiff as Akira, and Haru looked no better. Yusuke didn’t understand. What was going on?

“I’m not...Okumura didn’t...put me on staff, actually…” Ryuji said through gritted teeth. The man’s eyebrows furrowed, the smirk on his face growing more vile by the second.

“Why is it, then, that you feel the need to distract my darling fiance from her work?” the man asked. That alone sent chills down Yusuke’s spine, and he was starting to piece together the situation based on his limited information. He remembered talks of Haru having a fiance, and the air had grown just as dark when he was brought up before. It was even worse being face to face with the man.

“Ain’t I allowed to talk to my friends?” Ryuji grumbled. Within seconds, Ryuji was on his knees, and Yusuke wasn’t sure what had just happened. In pain and shock, Ryuji had dropped the paintings he was carrying. What surprised Yusuke the most was that he was too concerned for the wellbeing of Ryuji, Haru, and Akira to even care about possible collateral damage to his artwork.

“I suggest you refrain from back talk. I care not that you’re ‘off the clock,’ you will remain obedient,” the man hissed. Ryuji grunted in pain.

“Okay, okay…” he groaned. The man raised an eyebrow.

“Try again.”

There was a long pause. Finally, Ryuji sighed and bowed his head.

“Yes sir…”

The man gave him a venomous smirk. With that, he forcefully looped his arm around Haru’s and started walking away. “Come now, Haru. I believe one of our guests needs some help over there.”

As the two of them walked away, Yusuke and Akira hurried over to Ryuji’s aid. Akira gently put the paintings he was carrying down before kneeling and placing his hands on Ryuji’s shoulders. He made an attempt to look the blonde in the eyes.

“Ryuji…” Akira murmured. Yusuke followed, setting his stuff down and kneeling beside Akira.

“Are you alright?” the artist asked. Ryuji punched the ground beneath him.

“Damn it…!” he punched the ground again and again, more intensity each time. “Damn it! Damn that Sugimura!”

Some of the other guests looked in their direction. Akira quickly put a finger to his lips. “Shh! You have every right to be upset, but don’t draw attention to us.”

“I don’t care! Not only has that asshole ruined our lives, but he treats Haru like garbage! I don’t care if he smacks me around, but don’t act like he’s not just pulling her aside privately to slap her and yell at her for talking to me!”

Yusuke’s eyebrows furrowed. “He harms all three of you? That’s assault. Why not report him to the police?”

A deep, almost maniacal laugh erupted out of Ryuji. Yusuke winced. It was unsettling. He looked to Akira, who had a solemn expression on his face. Akira’s eyelashes fluttered above his cheekbones before he finally looked at Yusuke.

“He’s our boss. It’s not that simple…”

Yusuke’s heart dropped. A sensation of dread pooling at his core began bubbling into anger. Rage even. He clenched his fists tightly, fingernails digging into his palms. He looked where this Sugimura was dragging Haru. It took every ounce of willpower he had not to rush over there and clock Sugimura’s smug face. Violence solved nothing, though, and Yusuke knew that would only complicate things for all three of them. Instead, he bit his lip and hung his head.

“How does that make it okay?” Yusuke asked. Akira and Ryuji looked at him, and then to each other. “Why do you accept that kind of abuse? Why does Haru put up with it?”

Silence fell between the three of them. Yusuke groaned and started scrambling for his paintings, having had enough. Finally, Akira and Ryuji nodded at each other. Akira reached out and touched Yusuke’s forearm.

“I guess we can’t hide it anymore. We’ll…” Akira sighed, closing his eyes. He opened them and stared into Yusuke’s. “We’ll tell you everything.”

Yusuke was shocked to say the least. He relaxed a little, releasing a breath that he’d been holding. He continued picking up his paintings. “Please. I’ve grown tired of these guessing games.”

“It wasn’t anything personal, man. We just don’t really like talkin’ about our work,” Ryuji clarified, helping to pick up the mess.

The three of them had regathered the paintings and went towards the Painters’ Tent. Yusuke glanced to Ryuji. “Why is that?”

“I don’t think you could call it a real job. We do shady things and get paid under the table,” Ryuji explained. Akira nodded and looked down, avoiding Yusuke’s gaze.

“That man back there...he’s Sugimura. Okumura, the CEO of Okumura Foods, chose him to marry Haru,” Akira explained. Yusuke tilted his head, a little confused.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand. How did Haru’s fiance become your boss?”

Ryuji looked down. Yusuke could feel shame emitting from him. It was not a foreign feeling to him, and his first instinct said to tell Ryuji that whatever it was, it wasn’t his fault. However, that would distract from the story, and there were many questions Yusuke needed answered.

“See, Haru and Sugimura don’t get along. Haru resists all of his advances, and that pisses Sugimura off,” Ryuji’s grip around his canvases tightened. “In order to keep Sugimura around, Daddy Okumura pays him money every month and put him in charge of the Okumura Foods Loss Prevention Team.”

“Loss prevention? As in store product being stolen or going to waste?” Yusuke asked. Akira grimaced.

“Not quite. The Loss Prevention Team kind of turned into a complex money laundering scheme,” Akira explained. Yusuke gave him another confused look, resulting in a sigh from Akira. He continued. “We do count all the losses from Big Bang Burger locations, but we also intimidate, threaten, and steal from Okumura’s competitors.”

As they reached the Painters’ Tent, Yusuke stopped. He had mixed feelings. The more he heard, the more questions he had. On the flip side, though, the more he heard, the less he wanted to know. He couldn’t wrap his head around how Akira and Ryuji could even get tied up in such a practice. They were both good people, or so Yusuke thought. He wasn’t sure how to feel, now. The thought of Akira threatening people? Stealing? It didn’t match up with the kind person he’d grown to like. Yusuke had to keep an open mind, though. He tried his best to well away the growing nausea.

“Let’s get my display set up, and then you can tell me more,” Yusuke quietly said. From the corner of his eye, he could see Akira’s composure start to crack. Akira hung his head, keeping his eyes and face hidden. Yusuke felt bad. He didn’t want Akira to feel hurt nor ashamed. Ryuji neither, for that matter. However, this was all quite the bombshell. Yusuke couldn’t blame Akira for keeping it a secret for as long as he did.

The trio went over to Yusuke’s stand and started propping the canvases up everywhere they could fit. After some trial and error, they had everything set up as well as they were going to get it. Not a single word was spoken while they worked, and even as they finished and left the tent, no one knew how to break the silence. Yusuke still needed to take his painting for the contest over to the Contest Tent, so he headed for the car where said canvas waited. Akira and Ryuji followed behind him. As they neared the car, finally Yusuke turned his head and glanced behind at them.

“Continue. Please.”

Ryuji shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground. “I suppose we should also throw in that Sugimura runs an underground hostess club with the funds he gets from Okumura...and he sends us out on drug runs for it.”

Yusuke froze in front of the car, arm hanging as he was about to open the back door. Slowly, he turned around. His eyes settled on Akira and Ryuji. Neither of them looked proud, not that he expected them to. This whole story was getting more and more ridiculous, and Yusuke wasn’t sure how much more he could stomach.

“Drug runs?” Yusuke didn’t want to know more. He could have left it there. However, he  _ needed _ to hear the whole story. “What on earth is a  _ drug run _ ?”

Akira twisted a lock of hair between his fingers. A trait that he always did when he was nervous. A trait that Yusuke had grown to love, but at that moment brought unease. Akira closed his eyes. “He keeps a stock of drugs for his hostess club, so we act as the middlemen for his drug deals.”

Yusuke could feel his body go limp. He fell to his knees and looked down. Cautiously, Akira stepped over and knelt in front of him. He grazed Yusuke’s shoulder with his hand before pulling away. Ryuji rubbed the back of his neck.

“Look, man, it’s not as bad as it sounds…” the blonde said before kicking the dirt. “Who am I kidding. There’s nothing redeeming about this…”

“Yusuke…” Akira finally found the courage to look him in the eye. “I completely understand if you hate me now. Honestly, I kind of hate me too.”

Despite how hurt and betrayed Yusuke felt at the truth being withheld for so long, despite how shocked Yusuke was that Akira and Ryuji were essentially criminals, despite everything...Yusuke could never find it in his heart to dislike or hate Akira. Not that he was trying to hate Akira. It was obvious to Yusuke, though, that there was so much he still didn’t know about Akira.

“You’re my friend, Akira. You’ve done so much for me,” Yusuke gave a weak smile and shook his head. “I cannot hate you. Not over something like this…”

“Really?” Akira asked, shocked.

“But…” Yusuke met Akira’s gaze. “Why is it you two do all of this? How did you ever even start?”

Ryuji closed his eyes and turned his head away. “It’s all my fault. I got a job at Big Bang Burger to help out my mom. I totally messed up and lost my temper at one of the managers during one of Sugimura’s inspections.” A bitter smile made its way onto Ryuji’s face. “My only options were to lose my job or join the Loss Prevention Team. I had no idea what that entailed, and I just wanted to take the pressure off mom.”

The blonde’s voice started getting shakier as he went on. Akira jumped in from there. “Once I found out Ryuji was wrapped up in this mini crime ring, I jumped in to try and help find a way out. Careless move on my part.”

“Find a way out?” Yusuke asked, quirking an eyebrow. Akira nodded.

“We can’t just leave. Sugimura has so much blackmail tied to Ryuji and I, he’d just turn us in to the cops. And we can’t rat his ass out to the cops, because he knows where we live and who’s most important to us…”

“In other words, he’d have men sent out for revenge…” Yusuke inferred. Akira and Ryuji nodded.

“If anything ever happened to Mom because of me, I would never forgive myself.”

Everything was starting to become clearer to Yusuke. Knowing that they hadn’t voluntarily walked into this path was comforting. Though, he supposed Akira did do it on purpose, it was with the intention of helping Ryuji. It was unfortunate. Yusuke wished he had a solution for them. He was about to ask if Okumura himself was aware of what was going on, but he got the feeling the answer to that question would be yes anyway. He didn’t want to admit that the situation was hopeless, but sadly, that seemed to be the case.

“You two have gone through so much,” Yusuke muttered. He stood back up and turned around. He opened the car door, grabbed his painting, and started off towards the Contest Tent. Akira went after him.

“Yusuke, wait! Are you upset?”

Yusuke stopped and took a deep breath. He turned around and looked at Akira. “Perhaps, yes. Not necessarily with you, rather with this whole situation.” Truthfully, he was still a bit bitter that this had been kept a secret for so long.

“This isn’t the start of you icing me out, is it?” Akira asked, folding his arms. Yusuke shook his head.

“Not really. I need some time to myself to process all of this information. Please leave me be for a few hours.”

“Do you...still want me to come to the contest showing?” Akira asked. Yusuke pursed his lips, contemplating. Finally, he nodded.

“Please do. While I may not feel like facing you that soon, I fear I’d regret it in the long run if I declined.”

Akira gave Yusuke a weak smile. It couldn’t be any more obvious that it was forced, and Yusuke felt a dull ache in his heart. “I guess I’ll see you then?”

“Indeed. See you then.”

Turning back around and not daring to look back, Yusuke broke away from Akira. He tightened his grip around his painting and fought off his feelings. He felt like he could either cry or vomit, maybe both at the same time, and that wasn’t the kind of feeling he needed during the contest preparation. It was stressful enough.

Slowly, Yusuke meandered to the appropriate tent. He looked inside and saw Haru. She wasn’t doing any work at all. It seemed that her fiance wasn’t around, and neither were any of the other guests. A small part of Yusuke wanted to see how she was doing. After all, Sugimura did allegedly have a history of abusing her. Would it be too invasive to check in?  _ Perhaps it’d be best not to bother. _ After all, Yusuke had a new set of demons to battle in his mind, and with Haru being so directly correlated, he didn’t want to risk making it worse.

Trying to remain as natural as possible, Yusuke approached her. She looked up at him and gave a smile. It felt as empty as his heart currently did. Certainly, she wasn’t fairing any better than the rest of them. Yusuke bit his lip and took the fabric off the canvas. He held it out towards her.

“I have brought my contest piece,” Yusuke said quietly. Haru gingerly took the painting and looked around for a spot to put it.

“It looks beautiful, Kitagawa,” she said, voice shaking a little. She turned around and placed it on an empty easel. “I’m sure it’ll touch quite a few people.”

Any intention Yusuke had of keeping quiet had flown out the window. It didn’t help that he was naturally inquisitive and pushy. He took a step towards Haru. “Akira and Ryuji told me about your fiance.” Haru’s posture stiffened at that. “Are you feeling okay?”

Haru turned around and looked at Yusuke with misty eyes. She grabbed Yusuke’s wrist and dragged him out of the tent and over to a more secluded area. Yusuke raised an eyebrow at her sudden action, but chose not to inquire her. It was evident that he had opened yet another can of Okumura worms.

“How much do you know?” Haru asked, voice still shaky. Yusuke sighed and put his hands on his hips.

“Everything, really. I’ve heard about your engagement, the abuse you endure. Even the money laundering and drug trading,” Yusuke explained. He shook his head and dug his heel into the ground. “But the question was about you? I simply wanted to know if you’re okay.”

Haru sniffled, eliciting a wince from Yusuke. She was on the verge of tears, and Yusuke was never an expert on comforting.

“I have to be okay. I don’t get a choice,” Haru squeaked. A couple of tears leaked from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. “I have to make sure everything runs smoothly! I don’t want to disappoint my father!”

And that was exactly what Yusuke had no clue in how to sooth. Haru let out a few sobs as the waterworks began, and Yusuke could feel a bead of sweat run down his forehead. Sometimes he cursed his lack of tact.

“I used to feel that way too,” Yusuke blurted. Haru looked up at him, wiping a few tears away. Yusuke rubbed the back of his head. “Not to draw the attention to myself, but I too had a father figure that was nigh impossible to please. Meaning, I can understand the pressure and how you feel.”

“Really?” Haru stuttered. Yusuke gave a soft nod.

“I was orphaned at a young age, so a friend of my mother’s took me in. He was also an artist, and claimed to be nurturing my talent,” Yusuke explained. An almost angry smile broke at his lips, a deep chuckle following. “So it had turned out, he pretended to care about me so that he could sell my paintings under his name. The longer it went on, the harsher he became of my work.”

“Kitagawa, that’s awful...I’m so sorry to hear that,” Haru said, coming closer to him.

“I no longer need to worry about him anymore, though. Again, this is not about me,” Yusuke reiterated. A gentle blush formed on his cheeks. “I suppose I wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone. You may even vent to me if you so wish.”

Haru looked at him, the tears slowly stopping. Her lips quivered, signalling that perhaps there was something she wanted to say. Yusuke gave her a reassuring nod, letting her know that it was okay. Haru clenched her fists and hung her head.

“I don’t want to marry that creep Sugimura! I...I love Ryuji!” she yelled. Quickly, her eyes widened and she brought her hands up to cover her mouth. Her eyes darted around, hoping no one else heard. Yusuke gave a gentle laugh.

“Even a fool could see that. You two really feel strongly for each other, huh?”

Haru’s hands lowered, giving way to flaring cheeks. “Ever since high school...Ryuji has always been rooting me on and supporting me.” She smiled fondly and wrapped her arms around herself. “A year and a half ago, he said he needed money to help his mom. All I wanted to do was repay the kindness he showed me, so I put in a good word with one of our Big Bang Burger locations.”

Yusuke’s mouth slowly parted in surprise. Haru looked back up at him. Tears were beginning to well at her eyes again. “It’s my fault, Kitagawa. If I didn’t help him get that job, he wouldn’t have gotten dragged into this mess.”

It seemed to be a never ending cycle of guilt. Ryuji felt bad for getting Akira involved, while Haru was torn up over getting Ryuji involved. In all reality, it was just a group of friends trying to help each other out of a bad situation. Their hearts were in the right place. There was no fundamental reason to feel bad, though Yusuke supposed it would be hard not to considering the outcome that had happened.

“While it’s quite hard to stomach what your father and fiance are doing, I would hardly say it’s your fault,” Yusuke said. Haru shook her head.

“I should have foreseen Sugimura targeting Ryuji. He was always jealous of how much time I spent with him and Akira.”

“Again, how is that any fault of yours? It’s as ludicrous as Ryuji saying it’s his fault for Akira getting involved,” Yusuke explained. Haru looked at Yusuke with watery eyes and tightly closed lips. “You both were just trying to help. Perhaps Akira’s method was risky, but it’s no more your fault than it would be Ryuji’s.”

Haru’s eyes widened ever so slightly. Yusuke hoped that at least part of what he said had gotten through to her. Haru nodded her head and wiped her tears away.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop feeling awful, but it does make me sad when Ryuji blames himself for Akira,” she said. Yusuke gave her a reassuring smile.

“Instead of cursing the past, it’s more productive to incite change in the future.”

“Right! You’re right, Kitagawa!” Haru agreed. Yusuke chuckled.

“Yusuke is quite fine. We are friends, aren’t we?” he asked. Haru giggled, blushing a little. 

“Valid point. Anyway,” she paused to give her face a final pat down. “You and I both have work to do. I need to manage, and you have some paintings to sell!”

“Yes. In that case, I suppose I’ll see you in a few hours for the contest showing.”

Exchanging quick good-byes, Yusuke parted from Haru. While he had been reluctant to speak with her, he was glad he did. It was hard for Yusuke to look beyond the scope of him feeling hurt and betrayed over Akira withholding so much vital information for so long, but the bigger picture was now crystal clear. No matter how awful Yusuke felt, Haru, Ryuji, and Akira all had it much worse. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how they go about life as if all was typical.

Yusuke did know one thing. For the past few weeks, Akira had been nothing but helpful and kind to him. This fact didn’t change. Akira’s job was a bitter pill to swallow. Slicing through the initial shock, there was a beacon of light at the end. Yusuke had found the perfect way to return Akira’s kindness.

As Yusuke made his way back to his stand, he decided that he would help Akira and his friends out of this Sugimura problem. To them, of course it would seem there would be no way out. However, there had to be  _ something _ Yusuke could do as an outsider to help them out. Nothing was truly impossible.

With a gentle smile, Yusuke let out a deep breath.

He could do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha yeah so how about that reveal?? I hope it doesn't feel too out of nowhere. I realize it is a bit of a tone shift, but trust me it's a lot less over the top and dramatic than what I had initially planned. Aside from that, I did actually draw a mock up of Yusuke's painting! I'll insert it in the next chapter. I was originally going to just have it be Desire and Hope, but then I was like "nyall could just rewatch his confidant if you wanted that" so yeah.
> 
> Also, the fic is about...a little over halfway done. I did not anticipate it being very long, but we're approaching 40k words haha, y i ke s. Thanks for sticking around! I appreciate it O:


	9. Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look through the journal of one Akira Kurusu.

  ** _April 9th, 2016_**

 

_I arrived in Yongen today. I’m staying in the attic of a small cafe. It’s a little scary and lonely. My guardian hates me already. I guess this is what happens when you do good deeds. Remind me to never help anyone out of sexual assault ever again. Slightly kidding…_

_Hopefully tomorrow’s a better day._

  


**_April 11th, 2016_ **

 

_I was a little late to school today. Sakura wasn’t very happy with me, and it certainly didn’t help my reputation. Everyone keeps staring at me and whispering behind my back. I did make a friend, though. He’s a bit loud, but seems pretty cool. He helped me find the school. Seems to have a huge chip on his shoulder, though. Should I get involved?_

  


**_April 16th, 2016_ **

 

_A girl attempted suicide at school today. Rumor has it the volleyball coach did something to her to make her snap. Ryuji seems to have some serious beef with this guy. If what’s going on is true, there has to be a way to get him fired. I really can’t stand people they prey on those weaker than them. What a skeeze._

  


**_April 20th, 2016_ **

 

_I became an official Cat Dad today! A stray had been following me around for days, so I decided to take him home. Thankfully Sakura said I can keep him. His name is now Morgana, and he’s my buddy. Maybe I can sneak him to school…_

  


**_April 24th, 2016_ **

 

_Ryuji and I may be onto something about the Kamoshida case. A few members of the volleyball team spilled the beans to us. One of them was a kid in my class, Mishima. We’re going to stake out the school and try to get photo evidence. I know, not our smartest idea, but hey. It’s better than doing nothing. Wait, didn’t I say I didn’t want to get involved? Oh well. Can’t let my probation be for nothing._

  


**_April 27th, 2016_ **

 

_We recorded some suspect videos on our phones of Kamoshida abusing students. There’s no telling if it’ll actually help, but we won’t know unless we don’t try._

  


**_April 28th, 2016_ **

 

_We were laughed out of Principal Kobayakawa’s office…_

  


**_April 29th, 2016_ **

 

_Shiho’s friend, Ann, caught wind of our attempt to bust Kamoshida. She asked us to drop our investigation. Maybe she has a point. She’s going through a lot, so for now, I’ll honor her wishes._

  


**_May 2nd, 2016_ **

 

_Luck is a weird thing. Kamoshida got a better offer at another school, so he’ll be leaving. It’s kind of bittersweet. I’m glad he’s out of our school, but Ryuji and I both see this as a loss. He belongs behind bars. What a world. I try to stop sexual assault, and I get prosecuted. Kamoshida does the assaulting amongst other things and he gets a bonus on his paycheck. Maybe I should stop being a good person._

_Nahh._

  


**_May 14th, 2016_ **

 

_Midterms are a bitch!!!! Fuck man. I think I did pretty well, though. That girl, Ann, she’s been studying with Ryuji and I. She’s actually pretty nice. She invited Ryuji and I to some art exhibit. It’s work from some guy named Habarane? Habanero? Beats me. I guess someone gifted her the tickets. I agreed to go, but Ryuji doesn’t seem convinced._

  


**_May 15th, 2016_ **

 

_Yep, I’m definitely bi. Some art twink was our guide for the exhibit, and I could have listened to him talk for ages. He looked to be about our age, too. I would have asked for his number, but Ryuji was rushing me out of there. Hey Hot Museum Guy, if you’re reading this, let’s get coffee._ _My guardian has been teaching me how to make a mean cup o’ joe, it’d be my treat~_

 

_Ahhh a guy can dream._

  


**_May 20th, 2016_ **

 

_I think I saw art twink on the subway! It didn’t look like he was wearing a Shujin uniform. I wanted to say hi, but he was in a hurry. Maybe some other time I’ll get a chance._

  


**_May 24th, 2016_ **

 

_Ryuji and Mishima are assholes. Note to self, never trust them when they have kinky plans. In other news, my homeroom teacher is a maid._

  


**_June 1st, 2016_ **

 

_The student council president has been snooping around in my business. I think she knows I’ve been bringing Morgana to school. Oops :)_

  


**_June 10th, 2016_ **

 

_I keep forgetting to write in here. I know Sojiro wanted me to track my activities, but what am I gonna write? ‘Took a big poop at 4:30, felt good’ ??_

_Anyway, Niijima seems to be backing off a bit. I’ll admit, it is kinda lonely without her inquisitive questions everyday._

  


**_June 15th, 2016_ **

 

_Ryuji seems to be crushing on someone. He’s been watching this third year girl for a while now. Maybe if they hook up, I’ll have a fateful reunion with art twink and we can go on double dates. Just kidding (or am I)._

  


**_June 30th, 2016_ **

 

_I think I managed to befriend Makoto. We ran into each other in the library and had a nice talk about literature. It’s refreshing to hang around someone more mature to talk to. I feel like I can count on her for advice. Plus, Ann could use a girl to chill with._

  


**_July 5th, 2016_ **

 

_Exams are coming up. I’m not too stressed. I’ve been studying like a good boy._

  


**_July 12th, 2016_ **

 

_Held a huge study group with Ryuji, Ann,  and Makoto. Sojiro was nice enough to let them come to Leblanc. I don’t think we got much studying done, but it was fun nonetheless._

  


**_July 16th, 2016_ **

 

_Thank god the exams are over. We’re all going to watch fireworks to celebrate. I wonder if I’ll see art twink there? He seems like the yukata festival type._

  


**_July 18th, 2016_ **

 

_It rained after the fireworks started. It was kind of a bummer. I couldn’t even tell if art twink showed up. Guess I should give up, eh? Ryuji caught a glimpse of his apparent crush, so that’s cool I guess._

  


**_July 22nd, 2016_ **

 

_When I came home, a lady was drilling Sojiro about child abuse and parental authority being suspended? Apparently all this time he’s had a daughter. I wouldn’t think Sojiro would be the abusive type, but after seeing that man that sued me and Kamoshida run free, I want to do whatever I can to stop at least one abuse. I’ll talk to Ryuji and the others tomorrow._

  


**_July 23rd, 2016_ **

 

_Ryuji and I asked around Yongen about Sojiro’s daughter. It seems not a lot of people have info. We’re going to break into Sojiro’s house tomorrow to investigate. Very risky idea, but uh...it’s for justice?_

  


**_July 24th, 2016_ **

 

_We snuck in, but then the power went out. I think we caught a glimpse of her, but she hid in her room. Sojiro caught us, and against all odds, I’m not hopeless. He told us that she suffers from agoraphobia. Her mom committed suicide and she blames herself for it. Sojiro asked me to leave her alone, but I don’t think I can. I want to help her._

  


**_July 25th, 2016_ **

 

_I think Futaba might have hacked her way into my phone? I woke up to cryptic messages from her. It makes me wonder if she has Leblanc bugged…_

  


**_August 1st, 2016_ **

 

_Futaba and I have been texting back and forth for a while. I wonder if maybe I’m making a breakthrough? She agreed to letting me speak to her outside her door._

  


**_August 7th, 2016_ **

 

_I’m slowly making progress…_

  


**_August 15th, 2016_ **

 

_Futaba found a way to make me marathon Featherman with her. Not my favorite pastime, but it relaxes her enough for me to talk through her issues with her. I’m trying to help her realize she has nothing to blame herself for._

  


**_August 21st, 2016_ **

 

_I finally got her to leave her room. For a NEET, she’s a lot prettier than I would have expected. Not that I’d try and date Sojiro’s daughter._

  


**_August 29th, 2016_ **

 

_Sojiro can’t believe the progress Futaba is making. I’m pretty shocked myself. We managed to talk Futaba into a beach trip with us. It was a lot of fun spending time with everyone. Definitely a good way to end summer._

  


**_September 8th, 2016_ **

 

_The class trip to Hawaii is going great. Or rather, that’s what I would say if I wasn’t roomed with Mishima. Nothing against the guy. He’s really nice. He just talks my ear off while I try to sleep._

 

**_September 9th, 2016_ **

 

_I saw him…_

_I keep catching glimpses of him from the corner of my eye. I think he’s a Kosei student. No matter how far I run, I can’t seem to catch up though. Ryuji ran into the girl he’s been low-key stalking. They finally talked to each other. Her name is Haru, and she seems nice. I wonder if things will go well for her and Ryuji. I’m rooting for you, man._

  


**_September 10th, 2016_ **

 

_Thank god talking to Haru made Ryuji cancel on Operation Babe Hunt. Not that he had the guts to spend the day with her, but he wants to try to be in her good graces. I ended up chilling on the beach with Ryuji and Mishima most the day._

_As the sun went down, I saw art twink. He was sketching on the beach. I’m no coward, so I finally talked to him. And by talk to him, I told him his drawing looked nice, and he gave me a deadpan thanks. It kind of hurt. I didn’t ask for a name or his number since I figured I had bothered him enough. And such ends my dreams of taking art twink to coffee._

  


**_September 11th, 2016_ **

 

_Made it back home. I brought Sojiro and Futaba some souvenirs. Time to sleep._

  


**_September 13th, 2016_ **

 

_Principal Kobayakawa passed away it seems. It’s a little unsettling. I also haven’t seen Morgana since he went out a few hours ago. I hope he’s okay._

  


**_September 14th, 2016_ **

 

_Still no sign of Morgana…_

  


**_September 15th, 2016_ **

  


_Morgana has been safely located! I guess that Haru girl found him. She asked Ryuji if she’d seen him, and he recognized her. I owe both of them big time. I’ll be picking Morgana up in a couple days._

  


**_September 17th, 2016_ **

 

_I went to pick Morgana up, and shit hit the fan. Haru apparently is not only hella rich because she’s the daughter of the CEO of Okumura Foods, but she has a fiance. Guess who got pissed when Ryuji and I came home with her to get my cat. It was a huge bombshell, and I pray for Haru’s safety. The guy seemed pretty unstable._

_Morgana is home safe now, at least._

  


**_September 30th, 2016_ **

 

_Despite Haru being engaged, Ryuji doesn’t seem to have given up. He’s been helping her with her garden at the school as often as he can. Sometimes I pitch in to help. Haru is really nice. Not that I have a crush on her too, but she definitely has a smile I’d want to protect. Ryuji would be good for her._

  


**_October 10th, 2016_ **

 

_In a strange turn of events, Haru managed to reserve Destinyland for all of us. She said the reservation was already in place for a company party, but the party was cancelled, so it would have gone to waste anyway. I hope she didn’t think she needed to do that to win our friendship. Anyway, she was kind enough to let us bring Ann, Makoto, and Futaba along. It was really fun!_

  


**_October 17th, 2016_ **

 

_Exams start today. How exciting._

  


**_October 20th, 2016_ **

 

_I couldn’t be any happier for the tests to be over, holy shit. Not that they were particularly hard, but they were boring as hell._

  


**_October 25th, 2016_ **

 

_School festival time! Super fun! Futaba was a little spooked to be around so many people, but I think we managed to help her keep a level head. She definitely enjoyed all the food around the school. Overall, it was a lot of fun. We’ll be going tomorrow, too._

  


**_November 16th, 2016_ **

 

_I’ve barely even touched my journal lately. Probably helps that Sojiro trusts me at this point, so I don’t have to worry much about detailing everything. I think at this point, I’ll only write if something of note happens._

  


**_December 8th, 2016_ **

 

_I think I have the flu. Yuck._

  


**_December 25th, 2016_ **

 

_I know my parents haven’t talked to me once since coming to Yongen, but I was really expecting something today at least…_

_At least I had Sojiro and Futaba to keep me company. They’re like my second family at this point._

  


**_December 31st, 2016_ **

 

_Let’s hope for better luck in the New Year!!_

  


**_February 14th, 2017_ **

 

_I really wrote nothing for January? Dang, this thing is becoming irrelevant. Anyway, celebrated V Day by listening to Ryuji mope about Haru._

  


**_March 3rd, 2017_ **

 

_It’s hard to believe my probation is almost over. Not gonna lie, I really enjoyed staying in Tokyo. Maybe I’ll move back here after I graduate. Speaking of graduation, Makoto is planning on becoming a police officer when she graduates. I guess I won’t be seeing much of her. Haru is staying local to Tokyo. I’m sure she and Ann can keep Ryuji company._

_I’m concerned for Futaba. I hope she’ll continue letting her independence grow without me there. I have faith in her._

  


**_March 20th, 2017_ **

 

_I really do have the best friends in the world. Hopefully Sojiro keeps this journal safe so I can look back on the good times later on. I really will miss everyone so much._

  


**_April 4th, 2018_ **

 

_Sojiro did keep this silly thing safe. I’m glad he did. It was a fun trip down memory lane. Maybe I’ll still write in here from time to time. I graduated high school with pretty good grades. Currently I’m enrolled for college. I moved back to Tokyo, and the Leblanc attic is just how I remember it. Feels good to be back. I haven’t heard from Makoto, and I guess Ann is attending college overseas. At least I still have Ryuji, Futaba, and Haru._

  


**_April 30th, 2018_ **

 

_College is hard, daaaaang. I’m always up for a good challenge, though._

  


**_May 20th, 2018_ **

 

_Poor Ryuji is working for Big Bang Burger now. I guess college expenses were really hard on him and his mom. Maybe he can give me a discount hahaha._

  


**_July 23rd, 2018_ **

 

_I haven’t heard a whole lot from Ryuji lately, and neither has Haru. I hope he isn’t overworking himself._

  


**_August 22nd, 2018_ **

 

_Really getting concerned about Ryuji. Not that I condone it, but Futaba is going to hack his phone to find out what’s going on. He sure won’t tell us what’s up himself, that’s for sure._

  


**_August 23rd, 2018_ **

 

_*hacker voice* Futaba got in. It seems he’s been doing favors for Sugimura? What the heck is going on. I’m gonna get to the bottom of this, whether he likes it or not._

  


**_August 24th, 2018_ **

 

_It was hard, but Ryuji spilled the beans. He’s been forced into some mini crime ring. I have to help him, no matter what it takes._

  


**_August 30th, 2018_ **

 

_I have an interview for Big Bang Burger on the 2nd…_

  


**_September 2nd, 2018_ **

 

_Aaaand I’ve secured the job. I’ll get Ryuji out from the inside._

  


**_September 10th, 2018_ **

 

_Ryuji and Haru are both annoyed at what I did to help. It’s risky, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do._

  


**_October 20th, 2018_ **

 

_It took a while, but Sugimura finally promoted me to his “Loss Prevention Team.” Time to fuck up that corrupt asshole’s shit._

  


**_October 26th, 2018_ **

 

_Sugimura is on to me. Shit._

  


**_October 31st, 2018_ **

 

_It’s Halloween, and I wish the blood I bled today was fake. I got the tar beaten out of me by a few of Sugimura’s men. He knows I’m trying to expose him. I don’t know what to do now._

  


**_November 1st, 2018_ **

 

_Futaba saw through the camera on my phone how beaten up I looked when I went home. Ignoring the creepy factor, I’ve done fucked up. Now she’s involved, though from a much safer distance than me. She’s hacking the Okumura Foods intranet to look for anything incriminating at all to get Sugimura’s shit locked down. I hope it works._

  


**_December 4th, 2018_ **

 

_It would seem that Haru’s dad is well aware of what goes on in the Loss Prevention Team, and he condones it. It’ll be harder than we thought to expose Sugimura._

  


**_January 16th, 2019_ **

 

_This is all the biggest bullshit ever. Out of all the ways I expected to reconnect with Mishima, having him be Sugimura’s personal assistant was definitely not one of them. Maybe if I reconnect with Makoto, she can help._

  


**_February 1st, 2019_ **

 

_No luck in contacting Makoto, yet. She’s probably really busy._

  


**_February 19th, 2019_ **

 

_Still nothing._

  


**_March 16th, 2019_ **

 

_I won’t be returning to college in April. I have to take a hiatus, Ryuji too. We can’t keep up with our studies when we’re dealing drugs at 2 am. I really should have thought this through better._

  


**_April 20th, 2019_ **

 

_There have been talks about planning Haru and Sugimura’s wedding. Thankfully, it won’t be for a year or two, but it’s still pretty gross. I feel for Haru and Ryuji._

  


**_June 30th, 2019_ **

 

_Gotta keep my head up. Starting to lose hope. Sojiro is suspecting that there’s something wrong. I worked so hard those years ago to gain his trust, I can’t let him know the truth._

  


**_July 19th, 2019_ **

 

_I admire Futaba’s dedication. She’s been working hard for us. It makes me want to work harder._

  


**_October, 2019_ **

 

_Futaba managed to hack into the Okumura Foods profits. Normally I’d be against stealing, but she’s been siphoning some money to us since Sugimura definitely wasn’t properly paying us for_ **_breaking the fucking law._ **

  


**_December 20th, 2019_ **

 

_Still not much to update on the situation. I think I’m being followed by someone, though. Wouldn’t surprise me if it was one of Sugimura’s men. I need to be cautious._

  


**_March 10th, 2020_ **

 

_Sugimura’s paranoia knows no bounds. I saw one of his men leaving Leblanc earlier. He’s definitely trying to keep an eye on me. I need to move. How will I explain that to Sojiro, though? Man this is tough._

  


**_May 29th, 2020_ **

 

_The stalking hasn’t stopped. It really is coming down to moving._

  


**_June 5th, 2020_ **

 

_I finally got the balls to discuss me moving out of Leblanc with Sojiro. He assumed I just didn’t like living in the attic and offered to clear a room in his house. That surely wouldn’t solve my problem, especially since it would endanger Futaba. I said that I wanted to feel more independent, and while he didn’t really buy it, he didn’t press further. He did say that I always have a place to stay should I need the help. He’s too kind._

  


**_July 1st, 2020_ **

 

_I can’t believe what happened today. I had a fateful reunion with art twink. Or at least someone that reminds me greatly of art twink. He’s looking for a roommate...maybe this is my out? I need to think about it._

  


**_July 11th, 2020_ **

 

_Futaba said she’ll give me nipple twisters if I don’t call the art twink back. Guess I have no choice._

  


**_July 14th, 2020_ **

 

_I called him out of the blue and went to check the place out. It’s about the same condition as Leblanc’s attic, but it’s pretty far away from where Sugimura knows I live. It’s the perfect place to lay low for a while. His name is Yusuke, and I’m pretty sure he’s the art twink. There’s too much in common. Would it be wise for me to move in with my high school crush? I mean, I don’t think anything could necessarily go_ wrong. _Except maybe falling for him all over again…_

  


**_July 21st, 2020_ **

 

_Yusuke texted me. I’ve been busy with “work,” so I haven’t been able to keep him updated much. I set up a moving date this Sunday, though. It’s go time._

  


**_July 26th, 2020_ **

 

_What a unique guy. Ryuji and Yusuke helped me get situated. Ryuji and I kinda pressured Yusuke into drinking, and he got sick. Never doing that again. I won’t lie, though, he looked really peaceful when he drifted off. He talked about his old foster father Madarame. Now I know without a doubt that he’s the same guy from way back when._

_I need to stave off my feelings. If I date him, he’ll just get wrapped up in this mess. Ryuji and I have to keep it a secret at all cost._

  


**_July 27th, 2020_ **

 

_Shit shit shit. How did I not realize the art festival was an Okumura sponsored event? I hope I’m not accidentally getting Yusuke involved. I need to keep him safe. I seriously fucked up. Not only that, but I think I might have hurt his feelings, but getting him to open up is hard. It’s almost like cracking open another Futaba. I guess I’ll just have to play things cautiously._

  


**_July 31st, 2020_ **

 

_I think Yusuke’s starting to question my job more. This isn’t good. If Sugimura would kindly stop conveniently texting me while I’m hanging out with him, that would be great._

_In other news, Yusuke is actually a refreshing person. I’m glad we finally met._

  


**_August 2nd, 2020_ **

 

_Yusuke finally heard back from Haru. He got accepted into the festival! He immediately came home and locked himself up to paint. Hopefully that’s just the sign of a diligent worker and not something bad._

  


**_August 5th, 2020_ **

 

_I’ve tried every day to get Yusuke to leave his room, but it’s like he can’t hear me. I’m concerned he’s not eating. Yet somehow he still manages to use the bathroom. What the heck is going on??_

  


**_August 7th, 2020_ **

 

_One step forward, two steps back. Haru and I managed to get Yusuke to join us tonight, but he declined my invite to the planetarium. Plus I think my feelings might be resurfacing? Dammit, moving out of Leblanc was supposed to remedy my problem, but now it’s more complicated than before. Ugh._

  


**_August 11th, 2020_ **

 

_After days of no success, I think we finally hit a breakthrough. I got him to talk to me. He told me more about Madarame. I’m livid that anyone could abuse someone as gentle natured as Yusuke. I should pester Yusuke about the box Madarame gave him. I feel like it might give him the closure he needs._

_We went to the planetarium, and it’s official. I really like him. It hurts that I can’t have him, but as long as I can make him smile, that’s all I really care about. I’ll be modelling for him soon, so that’s pretty neat! Honestly, I’ve barely worried about work at all since moving in with Yusuke. Helping him deal with his problems has been a good distraction._

_I hope the festival doesn’t ruin that._

  


**_August 15th, 2020_ **

 

_I really messed things up…_

_Sugimura showed up, and Ryuji and I had to explain the truth to Yusuke._

_I think he may hate me now…_

  
  


“You’re really upset about telling Yusuke the truth, huh?”

Akira looked up to see Ryuji sitting across from him. They were at the shack, nervously passing time until the contest showing. Akira wondered if he should even bother showing up just based on Yusuke’s cold response to learning the truth about his job. Akira sighed and put his pen down.

“Hovering over my writing are you?” Akira asked, looking blankly at the blonde.

“That, and I know you mess around with that journal when you’re really anxious.”

Closing the journal, Akira looked down. Ryuji was right. Whenever Akira wished to recall the simpler days -- as if being on probation was all that simple -- he would read through old journal entries. When something was eating at his mind, he would write about it. Akira’s actions were a mystery to some, but Ryuji had him read like a book. Akira fidgeted with the pen between his fingers, shaking his head.

“Should I move back to Leblanc?” Akira solemnly asked.

“Akira…” Ryuji leaned over the coffee table and forced Akira to look him in the eyes. “That won’t fix a goddamn thing. You heard Yusuke. He just needs some time.”

“I really hope you’re right,” Akira said, smiling sadly and exhaling. Ryuji backed away, sitting back down in his previous spot. He folded his arms and gave Akira a sympathetic grin.

“You _like_ like him. Right?”

A gentle pink dusted Akira’s cheeks before he nodded and looked back up at Ryuji. “It’s that obvious?”

“You’ve been different since meeting him, man,” Ryuji said with a laugh. “You’re in _looooove_.”

“Oh come on. You don’t gotta be like that,” Akira said, throwing a pillow from the couch at Ryuji. The blonde dodged and stuck his tongue out, tossing it back over.

“You have taunted me about Haru ever since high school. Like hell I’m gonna pass on this opportunity!”

Akira caught the pillow and chuckled. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

Ryuji rolled his eyes, but smirked joyously. “Just wait until I get Futaba to team up on the teasing with me.”

Akira stood up, his jaw dropping open with exaggerated shock. He crossed his arms and jutted a hip out. “Ryuji! I’m gonna kick your ass.”

Rising to his feet, Ryuji wagged a finger. “Nah-ah-ah!” He whipped out his phone and pointed to the time on the screen. “As you can see, we have to head back to the park for Yusuke’s...uh...thing. The ass whooping will have to wait.”

The smile on Akira’s face faltered with a wince. He took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled it. Ryuji came over and gave his back an encouraging pat.

“I hope this goes well…” Akira murmured.

“Hey, hey. Even if it doesn’t, I’ve always got your back,” Ryuji said, walking Akira over to the door. He opened it and turned his head to look at Akira. “Now that’s what _best_ friends are for.”

Akira’s eyebrows relaxed, and he stepped outside. The two of them went straight for the car. Akira paused as he reached the driver’s side door. He looked at Ryuji, halting him with his words.

“Thanks, Ryuji. For everything.”

Surprise on Ryuji’s face gave way to an earnest grin.

“Right back at ya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was largely an optional read. I wanted to summarize how everything changed from the game and how Akira and Ryuji got mixed up with their Okumura stuff from Akira's perspective, and what better way than a look through Akira's diary?
> 
> There will be an actual chapter up this Sunday (most likely?). Sorry if this seemed a little filler-y! :')


	10. In Which the Show Starts

The time passed while waiting for the showing was fruitful. Yusuke managed to unload a few of his paintings. He couldn’t even name a time when he’d been in possession of such a large amount of money. It would be a true test of his willpower to not blow it all on more art supplies and aesthetically pleasing objects. Overall, he was satisfied. Granted, there was still a small pool of dread in the pit of his stomach.

It was about time to head to the showing. After sitting on all of the information about the situation Akira and his friends were in, Yusuke managed to make a small semblance of peace with it. He had been quite cold to Akira, though. He had asked Akira to come to the showing, but he felt like it was unlikely Akira would even show up. Why would he? And assuming he did, Yusuke wasn’t sure he had the nerve to say everything he wanted to say. Of course he was just describing the vision and process behind his painting, but all of this was because of Akira. The painting itself was metaphorically  _ for _ Akira.

“Yusuke!” the artist looked up at the sound of his name. Haru was walking over to him, a bright smile on her face. It was nice to see she was feeling better after everything that had happened. Yusuke returned the smile.

“Is it time?” he asked. Haru nodded.

“It certainly is! It’s time to go out there and show everyone what you’re made of!” she said with fiery passion. Yusuke chuckled. He wished he could muster even an ounce of all that energy. Quietly, he stood from his booth and went for the exit of the tent. Haru followed, tilting her head a little. “You don’t seem excited at all. Are you nervous?”

“Not quite,” Yusuke muttered. His eyes trailed downwards as he shook his head. “My response to Akira opening up to me about his work was harsh at best.”

Haru frowned, huffing a sigh. “Akira is pretty understanding. I’m sure he’ll still come.”

“And if he does, how would I ever be able to face him?”

“Just pretend he isn’t there until you finish presenting your piece.”

Yusuke clenched his fists and stood in place. “Akira was the main inspiration behind my piece! I can’t simply ignore him with that in mind!”

With Yusuke’s raised voice, a few people looked in their direction. Haru grabbed a hold of Yusuke’s hand and pulled him away from the other patrons. “I don’t mean to invalidate you, but this isn’t really a good place to make a scene.”

Once again, it seemed that Yusuke let his feelings take control. When he got fired up, any amount of self awareness was lost. “How unsightly of me. Forgive my outburst,” Yusuke said, putting a hand over his red face.

“Are you okay to present? I can try to get the showing pushed back a little…” Haru offered. Yusuke shook his head.

“That wouldn’t be fair to the other contestants.”

Haru glanced over behind Yusuke and froze. She took a step away from Yusuke and cleared her throat. “Listen, I have to go over to the stage. Try not to stress too much, okay?” In an almost Ryuji-like fashion, she pumped a fist in the air. “I’ll be rooting for you! You’re going to do great.”

Yusuke was left perplexed by Haru’s abrupt exit. He glanced around, but didn’t see anything that might have triggered it, so he figured it was likely just her realizing she would be late or something of the sort. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. He knew he was overthinking everything, as he always had a tendency to do. This contest was important, and it was vital that he didn’t let his random onset anxiety mess everything up.

After some proper breathing, Yusuke was good to go. He still felt nervous, but it was manageable. He headed for the stage. It was at the far end of the park, away from all of the tents and stands. There were a lot of fold up chairs set up where various patrons were taking their seats. Hesitantly, Yusuke scanned the area. There was no sign of Akira nor Ryuji. He felt both relief and regret. Yusuke walked around the audience seating and went behind the curtain on stage. There were a few other artists there as well. For once, he wasn’t scared of his own inadequacies in the presence of those who may be more talented. He was far too distracted to even try to care.

“Ah, Kitagawa…” Mishima came over to him, holding a clipboard. Yusuke gave him the best smile he could muster. “You’ll be presenting third. Is that alright?”

Third? That was not an opportune spot. He had hoped for either first or last. First would make it so everyone else had to live up to him, and last would make him fresh on everyone’s minds. It seemed the odds already were not stacked in his favor. Though, that did make it more reliant on his painting being judged by skill alone. Thus, he chose not to argue.

“I shall do my best to work with the obstacle presented to me,” Yusuke said. Mishima blinked and tilted his head.

“So...you’re okay with third then? I’m not sure I understand.”

Yusuke sighed. “Yes.”

Mishima wrote something down on the clipboard and grinned. “Cool. Thanks for your cooperation!”

As Mishima walked away, Yusuke decided to take a peek around the curtain. Akira still hadn’t shown up it seemed, and Yusuke swallowed to fight down the swelling nausea. He reasoned with himself. He should have expected this. It’s what he deserved for reacting so poorly to Akira’s job. Maybe if he had been more mature and just accepted the truth, everything would have been okay. If he had just--

Yusuke dug his nails into the palm of his hand. It was a physical reminder to bring him back to reality. Thoughts like those wouldn’t help. His melodramatic thoughts were what allowed Madarame to take advantage of him again and again and again. No, Akira wasn’t toxic. But Yusuke’s mind could be, and taking blame for things that weren’t even necessarily his fault was a bad habit that he needed to kick. Yusuke paced backstage and focused on his breathing again.

If Akira chose not to show up, it would be his loss. This is what Yusuke decided to repeat to himself.

As the first two artists went up to present, Yusuke did his best not to pay them any mind. He tuned out the gasps of admiration from the audience. The last thing he needed was to start feeling inadequate. He desperately wanted everything to end-- the contest, the festival. It had only served to cause him grief and anxiety. The moment he stepped onto that park to enter his portfolio, everything started to feel off. What he couldn’t discern was whether it was truly the art festival, or if perhaps the root was Akira.

When Akira was around, everything seemed clearer. But then when Akira wasn’t around, Yusuke’s thoughts tended to drift to the bespectacled man. It was distracting. There was no logical reason Yusuke could think of as to why. Akira drove him crazy, yet he made Yusuke feel calm. Yusuke’s mind tended to come up dry for art when Akira was away, but when Akira was around, he felt like he could sketch the boy’s profile all day. It was all confusing and new to Yusuke. He had never experienced anything quite like it.

Was it plausible he was garnering romantic feelings for Akira? Crushes were an oddity to Yusuke. He never desired anyone’s company in such a way. He craved company and validation from Akira to the point of frustration. The whole situation was ludicrous. Talking to Akira usually helped Yusuke to think through things like this more cohesively. However, seeing as this was a probable crush he was forming, there was no way he could bring it up to Akira.

“Yusuke! It’s your turn,” Mishima hollered at him.

A sharp pain shot through Yusuke’s chest, emanating to his gut. Once again, he had gotten lost in his thoughts. He didn’t feel to be in any proper mindset to present. He didn’t have much choice, though. He bit down his anxiety and nodded at Mishima. Slowly, he started towards the curtain. Every part of his body felt like it was being engulfed in flames, arms shooting out to drag him into the inferno.

With each step, Yusuke reminded himself that once he started presenting, everything would go smoothly. He clenched his eyes shut, walking through the gap in the curtains. The sun and lights shone on him, and he felt like perishing. He opened his eyes to see at least a hundred looking back at him. He scanned the audience, hoping to see Akira’s head of unruly hair. He was about to lose hope. After all, all of the patrons practically blended into each other. Seated towards the back, though, almost secluded, there sat Akira with Ryuji by his side. Yusuke could almost hear the pounding in his chest.

Akira had come. Akira wasn’t visibly upset with him. Akira didn’t hate him.

Yusuke took a quick breath and finally walked over to the podium. Adjacent was an easel with Yusuke’s painting on it, covered in fabric. He supposed the idea was that he had to unveil it himself, which he appreciated. Finally, he smiled at the audience. More so Akira, honestly, but he made sure his eyes danced around to make contact with others.

“Greetings. I hope everyone has found the festivities to their liking,” Yusuke started. Immediately he began to regret having not prepared a speech before hand. He would manage, though. After all, he’d grown quite used to bullshitting his way through tough situations with flowery language. He cleared his throat. “My name is Yusuke Kitagawa, and the painting I am presenting today is called  _ Stardust. _ ”

Stepping over to the easel, Yusuke chanced a glance at Akira. The light was reflecting off the lenses of his glasses, but he could feel expectation radiating off of him. Yusuke smiled at him and finally put a hand on the fabric. He pulled it off in a fluid motion, revealing the painting.

 

  


 

Yusuke turned back towards the audience. Much like the other two, he heard various oos and ahhs. He went back to the podium and picked up the microphone.

“I aim to be bluntly honest here. Leading up to this painting, I had been in the worst creative slump of my life. Following the passing of my sensei, my vision had become muddied. My preferred style has always been abstract, yet it seemed all I could made were basic, representative pieces.”

Yusuke gestured towards the painting. “The development behind this piece was, simply put, a nightmare. I whitewashed the same canvas more times that I could count. I was beyond frustrated.”

It felt odd speaking so candidly about his experience. He had no idea how appropriate it was, but the audience remained attentive, eyes darting between Yusuke and his painting. Specifically, Akira’s eyes were fixed on the painting, his mouth parted a little. Yusuke chose to take that as a good thing.

“I feared I may drown in a disgusting pool of envy and anxiety. Someone pulled me out, however. They kept my head above water,” Yusuke did his best to keep his voice as neutral as possible, but it did quiver a little. Akira’s gaze came to meet Yusuke, and for a split second, Yusuke could see through his glasses. The expression he read from Akira was indescribable, but it felt Yusuke with warmth and confidence. He grinned.

“This individual has saved me from myself over the past several weeks. After a chance outing to the planetarium, I got an immediate vision of this piece. The night sky and setting sun has been a source of inspiration and comfort for me since childhood.”

Yusuke’s hand hovered above the top of the painting. “Rather than fight with myself to create a piece with pretentious meaning, I chose to convey the heavens bleeding through the sky as the sun sets.” His hands moved down to the bottom, pointing out the two figures. “The starry sky drips and takes the form of two silhouettes. It has been said that humans are made of stardust, so I conveyed that literally.”

Pointing a finger to the top once more, pointing out a few more boldly placed stars. “The stars here form a constellation representative of one hand being extended to another.”

Turning to look at Akira directly, Yusuke continued. “My slump has been broken. I combined the two things that contributed to it. Had it not been for that individual dragging me to the planetarium, I likely would not be presenting to you at this very moment. I learned that there is nothing wrong with accepting help and letting people into your world. I have a wealth of gratitude for my friend that can’t be conveyed through words. And so,  _ Stardust _ sits here to represent all of these feelings inside me. It is a very personal piece, and I hope some of you may relate to its message. Thank you.”

The applause ensued as Yusuke wrapped up his speech. He gave a quick bow, and upon rising from it, his eyes locked with Akira’s once more. Akira had stood to clap, and there was a huge grin on his face. The fluttering in Yusuke’s chest returned. He returned the smile and nodded at Akira before finally turning around and heading behind the curtain once more.

Right as he was out of the audience eye, Yusuke sunk to his knees. His breathing was ragged, and he could feel sweat dripping down his forehead. Just as he had predicted, he felt barely any nerves while actually presenting. However, now he was experiencing post show jitters. A few of the other artists looked at him with judgemental eyes, and Yusuke didn’t care so much about that. He had grown quite used to scornful looks in high school. Rather, his mind drifted into a self imposed critique on how he could have improved his presentation. Not that it mattered, of course. The self loathing was just too tempting.

As much as Yusuke would have liked to be a good audience member and stay through the whole contest showing, it wasn’t mandatory, and he was socially exhausted. A little over halfway through the show, Yusuke decided to head back to his stand. Not necessarily for selling anything since there wouldn’t be any customers, but rather to get some time to himself. He debated on if he should stop and talk to Akira, but ultimately decided against it. He needed a few moments alone.

Yusuke snuck off the back of the stage and took a lengthy detour to avoid being seen. Making a big semi circle around the park, Yusuke found himself approaching the painters’ tent. As expected, the area was empty. He stepped inside and went straight to his stand to sit down. The quietness was welcome.

“Ahh...Kitagawa, is it?”

So much for quiet. In exhaustion, Yusuke couldn’t help but groan. “What do you want?”

It was not wise to respond coldly given that it was poor customer service, but when Yusuke looked over at the person speaking to him, the regret was doubled.

“Now, is that any way to greet a potential customer?”

Yusuke had sassed Sugimura.

Yusuke could feel his blood run cold. After everything he had heard, he knew being alone with the man was bad news. Sugimura meandered over to Yusuke. It was disgusting how casual he was acting. Yusuke bit his lip, scared to speak. He knew a confrontation would be unavoidable if he didn’t pick his words carefully.

“My apologies. To what do I owe the honor?”

Sugimura chuckled. Perhaps he sensed the sarcasm in Yusuke’s voice. “That was quite the speech you gave out there.”

“I don’t believe I said anything too out of the ordinary. While it was anecdotal, it was necessary to describe the piece.”

The closer Sugimura came, the more Yusuke’s composure cracked. It was obvious he wasn’t there to discuss art. There must have been an ulterior motive.

“You sure are a wordy one, aren’t you?” Sugimura stopped in front of Yusuke’s booth. Try as he might, Yusuke couldn’t find it in him to make eye contact. “That Madarame taught you well.”

Yusuke’s breath caught in his throat. “How...do you know I was his pupil?”

“You just confirmed it for me. I had a hunch.” The persistent chuckling from Sugimura was both unsettling and obnoxious. “My family has purchased many Madarame originals over the years. The news that he was a fraud was very unsettling.”

“What are you getting at?” Yusuke interrupted. Sugimura’s eyes felt much colder as they cut through Yusuke like a knife. Yusuke wouldn’t back down, though. “Why bring up Madarame at all? What is it you want from me?”

“Ohh Kitagawa…” Sugimura shook his head. “I simply wanted to help out a starving artist, especially one as unfortunate as you. But if you don’t want my job offer…”

Yusuke raised an eyebrow. “Job offer?”

Sugimura sneered. “Why yes! See, my beautiful fiance and I will be getting married in a month. I was hoping to commission some pieces of art for the event.”

Married? Haru and this guy? Haru hadn’t implied that there were plans for the wedding at all. It begged the question if she knew about it or not. Yusuke feared she didn’t. He shook his head. It didn’t matter how much Sugimura was willing to pay. He was poison to many people Yusuke considered friends.

“I’m afraid I do not take commissions. I appreciate the offer though,” Yusuke said. Sugimura’s fake grin melted into a scowl. He leaned over the booth, invading Yusuke’s space. Yusuke backed a way a little.

“Look, I saw you with Haru earlier. You two seemed pretty close, huh?”

Yusuke blinked. That explained why Haru broke away so abruptly earlier. Did Sugimura think Yusuke was hitting on her? He couldn’t understand why he would be so angry otherwise. “You wanted to commission me because I’m close to Haru? I fail to see your logic. Were you hoping to keep an eye on me?”

“My, that’s quite perceptive. Guess I’ve been caught red handed,” Sugimura said with a deep laugh. Yusuke couldn’t help but to cringe. This was getting more and more weird by the minute. Sugimura reached over and put a finger under Yusuke’s chin, tilting his head up. “Tell me, what disgusting fantasies are you having about Haru, hm? Are you two having little rendezvous in the middle of the night?”

Yusuke attempted to back away, but Sugimura took a better grip of his chin before he could. Yusuke gently shook his head. “Haru and I are friends. That’s all.”

“See, you say that, but I can’t be too sure. Especially when you persistently refer to her on first name basis…”

Of all the times Yusuke saw himself coming out of the closet, doing it to get this rich sociopath to quit intimidating him was definitely not one of them. Yusuke finally made eye contact with Sugimura and sighed. “I’m not attracted to women in such a way. I’m gay.”

Sugimura hadn’t backed down. If he didn’t believe Yusuke, then there wouldn’t be much else he could do to prove that he had no intentions of doing the dirty with Haru. They continued glaring into each others’ eyes for a few moments longer before they were interrupted.

“What’s going on in here?”

Yusuke and Sugimura both looked over to see Akira standing on the other end of the tent. Yusuke could feel his cheeks flush a little. What an awkward position for Akira to find them in. Sugimura finally stepped away from Yusuke. He folded his arms and glared at Akira.

“I was simply conducting a business transaction. It’s quite rude of you to interrupt, Kurusu.”

Akira walked closer to them. His gaze on Sugimura was hostile. “What were you doing to Yusuke?”

“So you two  _ do _ know each other. That’s right, you and Sakamoto were carrying his stuff earlier. How could I forget?”

It was obvious that Sugimura hadn’t forgotten, and that every part of this encounter was planned and calculated. Yusuke couldn’t even begin to imagine what Sugimura wanted with him. There was nothing he could offer the “Loss Prevention Team” except for…

Ah. Yusuke understood, now. An artist could potentially be good for making forgeries. He didn’t dare put more than a moment’s thought on the possibility that this whole festival was a ploy to ensnare an artist into his phony business.

Being a former pupil of Madarame probably made Yusuke more desirable since he’d grown accustomed to drawing and painting in different styles to keep people from figuring out Madarame’s secret. It all made sense.

“Leave Yusuke alone,” Akira coldly stated. Yusuke looked at him, a little shocked. Sugimura sneered.

“You can hardly tell me what to do, Kurusu.”

“Leave Yusuke alone. Or else I’m calling security. Even if they’re being paid by Okumura, it would be unsightly and embarrassing, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want to risk a scandal. So I’ll repeat myself one more time. Leave. Yusuke. Alone.”

Sugimura rolled his eyes and walked over to Akira. He put a hand on Akira’s shoulder and clenched it tightly. Akira winced. “Next time you’re on duty, you’ll regret this.”

Akira closed his eyes and sighed. “Then so be it.”

Without another word, Sugimura stormed out of the tent and vanished into the distance. The tension surrounding Akira and Yusuke was thick. Yusuke slumped over onto his booth. Akira walked over and bent down to gently nudge Yusuke.

“Are you okay?” Akira asked. Yusuke slowly nodded his head and looked up.

“He did me no harm. It was just a little frightening.”

Akira rubbed Yusuke’s arm a little before coming back up. Silence washed over them again for a few moments before they spoke in unison.  _ “I’m sorry.” _

“Huh? What do you have to be sorry for?” Akira asked.

“I was a complete jerk to you earlier. I should have had more compassion and considered what you’ve been going through. It was wrong of me to cast judgement,” Yusuke explained.

“Hey, don’t worry. It did hurt a little bit, but you still took it better than I thought you would. And besides, your feelings are valid too,” Akira said. Yusuke sat up.

“Even so, I’m still sorry. You’ve been nothing but helpful since we met, and I repaid your kindness with hostility.”

Akira’s face went red. “I mean...I just. I really like you. You’re my friend. I help my friends. Ya feel?”

Yusuke smiled as his eyelids relaxed. He hadn’t meant to fluster Akira, but it was really endearing. “Even so. I like to repay kindness.”

“Speaking of-- about your painting,” Akira twirled a lock of bangs between his fingers. “I really liked it. You painted it for me, didn’t you?”

Yusuke nodded and rested his chin in his hand. “Correct. You’ve become an overflowing source of inspiration. I appreciate all you’ve done for me.”

Akira laughed and turned his head away, conveniently hiding his blushing cheeks. “All I did was feed you and drag you to the planetarium.”

“You also let me vent about my problems. You were always checking up on me no matter how much I ignored you and pushed you away. You’re like a beacon of hope amongst a sea of despair.”

“Yusuke, you’re embarrassing me,” Akira blurted. Yusuke frowned a little.

“My bad. That was not my intent,” Yusuke said. Akira shook his head.

“No no, it’s fine. I just...wow,” Akira chuckled. “No one’s ever really shown me that much appreciation. Thank you.”

“Anytime. My words of thanks have no limit.”

Both of their faces were bright red at that point. Silence ensued, but their eye contact remained a constant. It was rare that Yusuke got such a clear look into Akira’s eyes. They were absolutely mesmerizing. He wanted a closer look. Without realizing, he had risen to his feet, leaning over his booth towards Akira. Slowly, Akira bent forward. Yusuke could practically feel Akira’s breath on his upper lip. If they came any closer, there was no doubt their lips would meet. It was a temptation that Yusuke nearly gave into.

Once he realized how close he had come to kissing Akira, Yusuke pulled away. He coughed a little and gave Akira a soft smile.

“I...believe the festival will be wrapping up for the day soon. We should round up my stuff and leave,” Yusuke suggested.

Akira looked a little disappointed, but he nodded and moved to pick up some of Yusuke’s remaining paintings. “You’re right. We should get home and get some food. If I’m hungry, then you must be starving.”

Picking up a painting, Yusuke looked a little shocked. “How did you know?”

“Because you have a terrible habit of  _ not eating _ ,” Akira retorted. Yusuke shrunk down a little, and Akira sighed. “I’ll cook us something good. And don’t worry about eating my food or something like that. I don’t mind at all.”

Yusuke picked up another painting and couldn’t help but smile. “You have my thanks.”

Akira laughed and shook his head. “You’re silly. I think you’ve thanked me enough for one day, let alone the next  _ year _ .”

Their playful banter continued as they gathered all of Yusuke’s paintings and walked towards the car. Yusuke couldn’t be happier to end such a stressful day. And while learning the truth about Akira was hard, it was the first step to breaking down Akira’s barrier. Yusuke was one step closer to learning more about Akira. In the end, there was still a sense of normalcy to their energy, and that’s what mattered most to Yusuke.

Yusuke was just glad to still have Akira in his life, and his drive to protect Akira and repay all the kindness Akira had shown him only grew more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hrrrk, please pretend the painting I did is actually good. Obviously I'm not as good as Yusuke would be :'D I just really wanted a visual representation of the painting.
> 
> The angst has been laid on pretty thick with the last couple of chapters, but the next chapter will be a little more lighthearted. I'll be introducing Futaba into the story, so that'll be fun.
> 
> anyway! once again, thanks for following the story! QvQ i kind of can't believe i'm still writing it haha. I've got [Tumblr](http://yustrology.tumblr.com) and [Twitter](http://twitter.com/yustrology). I've been doing A Yusuke A Day for Inktober, and am just barely wrapping up the Shukita Kiss Week of it lol. Cry with me about these boys.


	11. In Which Akira Complicates Their Situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The results of the painting competition are in...who is the winner?  
> Also, Akira done hecks up.

The second day of the festival had been much less nerve wracking than the first day. While there was still the overlying sense of unease from Sugimura’s presence, it had seemed that paintings were selling well for Yusuke. It was the small victories that mattered. Yusuke wondered if his presentation had attracted patrons to his booth. It made logical sense. Either way, he appreciated the business. He’d made enough money that weekend to satiate his bills for quite some time. At that rate, it didn’t matter if he won the contest or not. Things were looking a little brighter.

Despite everything, even Akira seemed jovial. Whether he was faking it for Yusuke’s comfort or not wasn’t something Yusuke could discern. He decided not to read too far into it, though. Akira was a huge help when it came to talking to the customers. He kept interactions casual and prevented Yusuke from going off on anecdotal tangents. Ryuji, on the other hand, wasn't feeling the positivity. He had been in and out of the Painters’ Tent,  mainly sulking back to Akira as his numerous attempts to catch Haru alone failed. After all, Sugimura was watching her like a hawk. Yusuke remembered him talking about them getting married soon. Yusuke wanted to bring it up, but the timing didn't seem right.

For the time being, Yusuke decided to worry about his own hide.

As the day went by, more of Yusuke’s paintings found themselves in the possession of other people. The time was drawing nearer to announce the winner of the contest. For the sake of minimizing his disappointment, Yusuke did his best to convince himself that if he won, it would be a happy surprise.

“Yusuke, how are you feeling?”

Yusuke glanced over at Akira and smiled softly. “I am fine. Did you expect a nervous wreck?”

“Well, considering how much you were stressing about the contest, I'm not sure what I was expecting.”

“Ah, I see,” Yusuke chuckled and closed his eyes. “I’m beginning to see that one blunder will not be the end of me. Even if I lose, life will go on.”

Akira grinned and gave Yusuke a pat on the back. “Good, you’re learning. Now then, I do have a surprise for you a little later.”

Yusuke quirked an eyebrow. “A surprise?”

“Yep. You’ll have to come back to Leblanc with me later tonight to find out what it is.”

It certainly wasn’t ideal to have to wait to see what Akira had up his sleeve, but Yusuke was mature enough not to get tilted. He did pout a little bit, though, much to Akira’s amusement. Glancing around, Akira noticed patrons and artists slowly filtering out of the tent. It must have been about time for the award ceremony. He looked over at Yusuke, who was watching everyone leave with a pensive expression. It was possible he was more nervous than he was letting on, but Akira nudged him anyway.

“Hey now. Don’t be getting cold feet right before the announcement. I’m here for you no matter what happens,” Akira said. Yusuke looked at him with a more relieved expression.

“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You are truly kinder than words could ever express.”

Heat rose and planted itself on Akira’s cheeks. He turned his head, hiding the growing redness on his face. It was extremely embarrassing when Yusuke complimented him. Not that Akira wanted him to stop. He simply detested how easily it reduced him to putty. On the other side of Akira, he could hear Ryuji snickering. He had almost forgotten that the blonde was still there, seeing how he’d been quietly stirring in his self pity most of the day. Akira shook his head, eliciting an exaggerated shrug from Ryuji.

“Hey man, don’t be cheesy with Yusuke if you don’t want me to laugh,” Ryuji offered. Akira rolled his eyes.

“Are Akira and I acting strange? I hadn’t noticed,” Yusuke said, head tilted a little.  _ Damn that’s cute. _ Akira turned away and started walking out of the tent. Yusuke’s confusion rose more from his abrupt departure, and Ryuji’s cackling only amplified it.

“Yusuke, there’s a  _ lot _ you don’t understand. Akira’s got quite the cru-”

“Ryuji, if you don’t shut up right now, I’m telling Haru you manscape.”

“Dude!!” Ryuji went running after Akira. “Not cool!”

With a laugh, Akira looked behind him at Yusuke, who still stood at his booth looking perplexed. Akira gestured for him to come over. “C’mon Yusuke. You’re kinda the reason we’re even going to the ceremony.”

Yusuke perked his head up and walked over to join them. “Yes of course. My apologies.”

The three of them left the tent and headed towards the stage. It was a much more pleasant atmosphere than it had been the previous day. If anything, Akira was relieved to finally have everything out in the open and sorted out. Hiding such a huge secret was exhausting. The main conflict going forward would be finding a way out of Okumura Foods and keeping Yusuke from involving himself. Admittedly, Akira had grown complacent in his position, feeling it impossible to leave.

Somehow, though, Akira had newfound hope. Whether it was thanks to Yusuke or not was hard to determine. The reasoning behind it was irrelevant though. After all, what mattered most was moving forward.

As they approached the audience seating, Akira and Ryuji parted from Yusuke. Both wished him good luck as he walked away and disappeared behind the curtained stage. Akira and Ryuji looked around the seating and found a spot a little closer to the front this time. As calm as Yusuke seemed, Akira still worried about the outcome. If anything, he was the one that was nervous. He couldn’t help but wonder if Yusuke would really be alright if he lost. Yusuke fed off of praise.

“Who do ya think will win this thing?” Ryuji asked. Akira nervously played with his bangs.

“Is it bad if I  _ don’t _ say Yusuke?” Akira muttered. Ryuji’s eyes widened a little in surprise.

“It’s not  _ bad _ , but are you sayin’ you didn’t like Yusuke’s painting?”

“Not at all. I loved it,” Akira laughed softly and leaned forward, hunching over his own lap. “There were a lot of great paintings, though. It could be anyone’s game.”

“You’ve got a point,” Ryuji admitted. He crossed his arms and sighed. “Guess there’s not much point in guessing the winner, then. Let’s just root for our boy and hope for the best.”

Akira sighed, but nodded his head anyway. “You’re right. No sense in getting worked up right now.”

Sitting up in his chair, Akira directed his attention to the stage. Mishima was up there with the microphone. If it was still high school, Akira would make an offhand comment to poke fun at Mishima’s inherent lack of presence onstage. Being Sugimura’s biggest errand boy was no laughing matter, though. He knew that Mishima endured a good brunt of the abuse, especially being the messenger. In that sense, Mishima was basically the one assigning Akira, Ryuji, and everyone else their dangerous jobs. Dangerous jobs of which success was at the expense of others. There was no way Mishima could be happy with himself with all of that in mind.

The fact that Ryuji had no sarcastic jabs about Mishima either further cemented how heavily their reality weighed on them.

“Thanks for joining us once more as we wrap up the festival!” Mishima said into the mic. “If you needed a reminder, I’m your Master of Ceremonies, Yuuki Mishima!”

“He’s hamming it up,” Ryuji groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. Akira smirked and shook his head gently. At least Mishima seemed to be enjoying himself in the moment.

“There were a lot of great pieces entered into the contest, and the votes were very close. First up, I’d like to name some honorable mentions.”

As Mishima started on a tangent about many of the paintings, Akira kept his ears focused. If he named Yusuke as an honorable mention, that meant Yusuke hadn’t won the contest. Call it bias, but he knew Yusuke’s piece was at least worth an honorable mention. Akira bit down on his thumbnail. He wished he could see Yusuke. The artists only came on stage as their names were called to receive a handshake from Mishima and a pity gift in the form of a fifty dollar Big Bang Burger gift certificate. Ryuji scoffed.

“They’re only givin’ out those certificates ‘cuz they know no one’s gonna eat that crap willingly,” the blonde spat. Akira couldn’t help but snicker.

“If they had any trouble selling burgers, we wouldn’t be stuck working for Sugimura.”

“Dude, I was tryin’ to lighten the mood. Why do ya gotta bring that up?” Ryuji groaned.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to,” Akira said, pushing his glasses up.

After a few minutes, Mishima had finished calling up the honorable mentions. Yusuke hadn’t been called up, and Akira was starting to panic. That could only mean Yusuke had won. Though there was the possibility his piece hadn’t even earned an honorable mention, Akira refused to consider such a thing. That was definitely bias. Did Akira care? Not so much.

Akira clenched his fist and looked expectantly at Mishima.

“C’mon. Say Yusuke’s name, say it…” Akira muttered, repeating himself a few times.

“Could you maybe sound less like you’re enthusiastically watching porn?” Ryuji asked with a snort. Akira whipped his head to the side to glare at his friend.

“Now then! Without further ado, the winner of the painting category…” Mishima started.

“Ryuji, now is not the time,” Akira retorted.

“Now is never the time,” Ryuji said with feigned dejection.

“...is…” Mishima continued.

“Shut up, he’s about to announce the winner,” Akira hissed.

Both Akira and Ryuji looked back at the stage where Mishima was drumming up anticipation for the announcement of the winner. Akira knew he was doing it for suspense, but at that point Akira felt like he was about to explode of Mishima didn’t say something. Never mind how Yusuke must have been feeling behind the curtain. It took everything not to shout at Mishima to knock the game show bullshit off and just announce the winner.

“Yusuke Kitagawa!” Mishima finally yelled. Akira nearly jumped out of his seat to cheer. Slowly but surely, Yusuke walked out from behind the curtain. He looked shocked, but came up to Mishima nonetheless. Akira immediately began clapping as loudly as he possibly could, pride swelling within him. There were several people that deserved to win, but in Akira’s  _ humble _ opinion, Yusuke deserved it the most.

Akira watched happily as Yusuke made his way over to Mishima. The two shook hands briefly before Mishima tilted the microphone in Yusuke’s direction.

“Do you have any words for the audience?” Mishima asked. Yusuke nodded and took the microphone.

“Thank you to everyone who voted for my piece. Truly. A lot of talented individuals entered this contest, so my winning is a great honor.”

The audience clapped as Yusuke handed the microphone back to Mishima. With the initial high of Yusuke’s win fading, a thought started to nag at Akira’s mind.

A man in a business suit joined Yusuke and Mishima on stage. “This is Akiko Kawanabe. He’ll be helping you set up all the exhibition stuff.”

Mishima presented Yusuke with his prize money in the form of a check, and Ryuji groaned as Yusuke and Kawanabe went off stage to presumably discuss the exhibition.

“Watch that check bounce or somethin,’” Ryuji muttered. Under normal circumstances, Akira would chuckle and say something witty. Something was bothering him, though. As Akira and Ryuji got up to return to Yusuke’s stand, Akira couldn’t keep his suspicions to himself.

“You don't think it was fixed, do you?” Akira asked. Ryuji raised an eyebrow.

“Huh? I thought you were excited about Yusuke winning.”

“I am...was...It's just that there were a lot of really good paintings, and  _ I  _ thought Yusuke’s win was deserved, but did a lot of people think that too?”

Ryuji shrugged. “It's not like they said he won by a landslide or anything. For all we know, he could have won by one vote.”

They continued towards the Painters’ Tent, and Akira considered what Ryuji had said. It was logical. Could he have been letting his anxiety and paranoia get the best of him? And to think, that's something he would have scolded Yusuke for. Akira chuckled to himself. He was acting silly. What mattered was supporting Yusuke.

At the same time, though…

“I saw Sugimura harassing him after the contest yesterday,” Akira said, stopping right outside of the Painters’ Tent. Ryuji’s eyes widened a little.

“For real…?”

Akira nodded. “I didn’t catch what they were talking about, but I think he was trying to recruit Yusuke. So maybe he rigged the contest so Yusuke would win because he wants to track where Yusuke is.”

“That kind of makes sense,” Ryuji murmured. He shook his head. “But Yusuke is totally stick thin. He’s got no muscle. What could Sugimura even make him do?”

That was a question that Akira wasn’t sure he knew the answer to. He supposed Yusuke’s knack for art could be useful in some warped way. It was clear that Sugimura was on some vile wavelength that Akira could never understand. The possibility that Akira was overthinking things did creep back into his mind. He walked into the tent and towards Yusuke’s stand. Ryuji followed.

It was probably a good idea not to keep worrying.

“I’m definitely reading too far into things,” Akira admitted. Ryuji gave him a gentle pat on the back.

“It happens to the best of us. All we can do is keep an eye on the situation and hope for the best, right?”

Hope for the best. Easier said than done when Yusuke’s freedom could be in jeopardy. “Right.”

The situation served as an even more severe wake up call that Sugimura’s anarchy needed to be stopped. There had to be  _ some _ way to stop him.

In the meantime, it was time to be positive. Akira and Ryuji took charge of Yusuke’s stand while he was gone. Only a few paintings remained, which was a pretty good turn out. Akira hoped it would prove to Yusuke just how talented he was, and how profitable his paintings were with or without Madarame’s name. After all, if Madarame was able to milk Yusuke’s skills for as long as he did, there had to be some worth to Yusuke’s art in the first place. Akira desperately hoped this would boost Yusuke’s confidence. Not to the point of becoming egotistical, of course, but enough to break Yusuke’s art block for months, even years to come.

One by one, what was left of Yusuke’s paintings sold out to willing patrons. Any grief that Akira had been feeling melted away as he put the last bit of money into Yusuke’s cash box. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Yusuke’s face once he saw that everything he brought had sold. Despite everything that happened, Akira was glad he told Yusuke about the festival. Things seemed to be looking up.

While Akira and Ryuji started disassembling Yusuke’s stand, Yusuke had finally returned to them. Akira glanced over to him and could feel his heart melt. Yusuke was absolutely radiant, beaming from ear to ear. He made his way over, and it took everything for Akira not to drop everything and give Yusuke a congratulatory hug.  _ Play it cool, Kurusu. _

“I just finished speaking with Kawanabe. My exhibition will be in a month, and I will be spending a lot of time at the museum preparing these next few weeks,” Yusuke explained. Ryuji gave him a thumbs up.

“Alright! I dunno shit about all this art stuff, but that sounds pretty cool. We're happy for ya,” the blonde said. Akira gave an affirming nod.

“It is all thanks to Akira’s help. If it isn't too much to ask, would you continue acting as my muse?”

A faint blush dusted Akira’s cheeks. Hearing it phrased like that, it was almost as if Yusuke was asking him to be his boyfriend. Of course, being called someone's muse wasn't exactly the most platonic gesture. Akira was a glutton for punishment, though, so despite how much harder he would fall for Yusuke by accepting. Akira decided to say yes.

“It would be my honor,” Akira stated with a gentle smile. It was returned by a look of satisfaction on Yusuke’s own face. The moment could have been a cheesy scene straight from a romcom had it not been for Ryuji giving them sly eyes from the side. Akira leaned over and flicked Ryuji’s forehead. “Knock that off, you voyeur.”

Ryuji rubbed his forehead. “Stop bein’ so sappy then,” Ryuji said. Akira shook his head. Yusuke blinked. It seemed he didn’t understand the fuss.

“Did I say something out of place?” Yusuke asked. Akira couldn’t help but laugh. While Yusuke was pretty intelligent, it was amazing how anything that could be vaguely romantic flew over his head. At the very least, that meant Akira didn’t need to be worried about coming off overly flirtatious. Not that he was  _ trying _ to flirt with Yusuke, of course. It just couldn’t be helped sometimes.

“Ryuji just likes to tease. Don’t worry about it,” Akira said. He gestured to what was left of the stand. “Let’s finish putting this stuff away, and then we’ll head to Leblanc. You still have that surprise waiting for you.”

Yusuke’s eyes perked up a little bit at the mention of the surprise. He picked up a few of the display racks. “Let’s make haste then.”

It was a quick, easy feat to put away what was left of Yusuke’s stand. Once that was done and squared away, the trio made their way to the car. Akira knew he’d have to pull a few shifts at Leblanc to thank Sojiro for being kind enough to let him use his car for two days.

The drive to Leblanc was peaceful. The majority of it was spent with Yusuke rambling about the exhibition. He was brainstorming ideas for some last minute paintings for it, talking about how fortunate he was to win, etc. It was clear that his win was greatly beneficial to his confidence. The thought that it could have been fixed for Sugimura’s agenda was still at the back of Akira’s mind, but Akira didn’t have the heart to present such an idea to Yusuke. If he thought for even a second that he didn’t win through his own talent, that would crush him. Right now, Akira just wanted to humor Yusuke’s excitement. His suspicions would remain kept to himself for the time being, though that didn’t mean he wasn’t still going to watch over Yusuke like a hawk.

Soon enough, they had arrived in Yongen. Akira drove to Sojiro’s house and pulled his car into its appropriate spot. Everyone got out of the car, allowing Akira to lock it, and with that they were on their way to Leblanc. The change of scenery was enough to halt Yusuke from his various mumblings over the exhibition, which was probably a good thing since Ryuji had been increasingly growing tired of hearing him go on and on. Akira would have tried to change the subject sooner, but it was lowkey revenge for Ryuji teasing him about his growing romantic interest in Yusuke.

Leblanc wasn’t very busy. It was late afternoon, and closing was soon approaching. That didn’t matter for Akira and his friends, though. Sojiro always let them sit and talk in the shop when they so wished. Akira opened the door, sounding the bell. He held the door open for Ryuji and Yusuke, walking in himself once they were through. It didn’t take long for Sojiro to notice them. A short girl with long, ginger hair was sitting by herself in a booth. That was Futaba. Sojiro gave them a grin.

“Ah, you’re back. I trust my car made it back in one piece?” Sojiro asked. Akira nodded and smiled.

“Not a single scratch. Maybe I’m an even better driver than you are.”

“Very funny,” Sojiro took a drag from his cigarette. “Anyway, did you kids want something to eat?”

Akira took a seat in one of the booths, sitting next to Futaba. She was busy fiddling with something on her phone. Ryuji and Yusuke sat across from him. Akira turned his head towards Sojiro. “Some curry for all of us would be great. Yusuke won the contest, so we’re gonna celebrate.”

“That’s good news. I’ll get started on a fresh pot, then.”

Yusuke tilted his head. “Is this my surprise?”

“Something like that. That and I wanted to introduce you to this gremlin over here,” Akira said, ruffling Futaba’s hair. She whipped her head and glared at him.

“Hey! I’m doing important stuff!” Futaba scolded. Akira looked over at her phone and chuckled.

“I’m sure that Featherman gacha game is super important.”

“It is! Do you know how much money it costs for  _ one _ pull? If I wanna save money, I have to manually collect enough gold feathers!”

More laughter came from Akira. He loved teasing Futaba about her gaming habits. Of course, he knew that they were forms of escapism for her, so he wasn’t too harsh, and often times he would humor her excited ramblings of her hobby. There was something about people talking passionately about their...well, passions that was extremely endearing to Akira. He wasn’t a huge talker himself. He much preferred listening and offering advice.

Akira looked at Yusuke. “This is Futaba. She’s pretty much my sister.”

“Pretty much?” Yusuke questioned. Futaba nodded.

“Sojiro adopted me and basically adopted Akira.”

There was still a look of confusion on Yusuke’s face, but Akira didn’t find it to be the appropriate time to talk about his probation. Instead, he steered the topic back to Futaba.

“Anyway, Futaba is a huge tech head. I think a good use of some of that prize money would be to pay Futaba to help make a website to broaden your audience,” Akira explained. Futaba groaned a little.

“Making a website? That’s so boring, I’m falling asleep just thinking about it.”

“Then it should be no problem for you,” Akira said with a laugh. Futaba rolled her eyes.

“Fiiine. Hey, uh...you...Inari. Give me your contact info,” Futaba gestured to Yusuke. He quirked an eyebrow. “Y’know, so we can coordinate our schedules for this?”

“My name is Yusuke.”

“And you look like some kind of trickster fox. So Inari,” Futaba said with a straight face. Yusuke looked over at Akira and Ryuji with a pained expression. Ryuji cracked up.

“Just go with it, man. Once Futaba sets her mind on somethin,’ there’s no changing it.”

With a pleading stare to Akira, Akira just simply shrugged and tried his best not to laugh. He knew well how stubborn Futaba was. “It’s either Futaba or Mishima. Trust me on this one. You want Futaba’s help.”

Yusuke sighed and leaned back in his seat. Now that Futaba mentioned it, Akira had to admit that Yusuke shared some qualities with a fox. His movements were always so fluid, and he was beautiful and refined. Of course Futaba’s reasoning was clearly not out of admiration or affection. It was still pretty funny. If anything, Futaba and Yusuke were just eccentric enough in their own right to get along great.

Or so Akira hoped.

“What kind of website are we talking about here?” Futaba asked. Yusuke handed her his phone so she could put her contact in it.

“I need to set up an online art gallery to advertise my work,” Yusuke explained. After a couple of seconds, Futaba handed his phone back along with her own phone so Yusuke could do the same.

“Why not just make an account on Pixiv?” Futaba asked. Yusuke tilted his head curiously, and Akira chuckled.

“He does fine art, Futaba. Like paintings and stuff. I don’t think an anime art site would help him much.”

Futaba looked appalled at Akira’s statement. “Anime is totally fine art! I’m so offended.”

Yusuke opened his mouth, most likely to argue, but Akira stopped him before he could add fuel to the fire. “I think Yusuke’s art is good enough to stand on its own. His own website would benefit him the most.”

With a sigh, Futaba dropped the argument. Yusuke handed her phone back to her, and she went straight back to her mobile game. “Money is money. I’ll do it. Speaking of that sweet, sweet yen though…” she glanced up at Yusuke and grinned. “If you pay me extra, I’ll rig the SEO in your favor.”

“Er...pardon?”

“Wow, it’s like you’ve never spent any time on the internet. For a fee, I’ll make sure your website pops up in search results more often!”

By the look on Yusuke’s face, it was obvious that caught his attention. And for good reason. There was only one problem Akira had with that.

“Futaba...I know you  _ really _ want that limited edition Featherman Green figurine. You’re not nickel and diming Yusuke to get it though. That’s something you should be including in the first place,” Akira lectured.

“You’re no fun, Akira,” Futaba retorted, looking back at her phone with a bored expression. “Fine, Inari. I’ll do the best job I can for the standard rate.” She shot Akira an unimpressed glare before going back to her game.

“You are so kind. Thank you Futaba,” Yusuke said. Ryuji snorted.

“Maybe don’t thank somebody that was totally ready and willing to rip you off.”

The playful banter between the group continued on. It felt nice to sit and chat over Sojiro’s curry. Almost like a nice return to Akira’s days at Shujin. For a few hours, Akira was about to completely forget about that unfortunate circumstances that had befallen his and Ryuji’s lives.

Enjoying his evening at Leblanc, now with Yusuke in his corner, it felt complete. He almost wished he had tried harder to reach out to Yusuke when their paths had fleetingly crossed back in high school. Knowing what Yusuke must have been going through during that time, all alone with his manipulative sensei...it sounded miserable. How differently would all of their lives been had Yusuke joined their high school friend group? It was hard to say, and it didn’t really matter.

The only thing that would have made the evening better was if the rest of the girls were with them. Of course Akira could talk to Haru whenever he wanted, but times like these he couldn’t help but miss Ann and Makoto. He spoke to Ann occasionally through social media, but he hadn’t heard from Makoto since she had gone to college. He supposed it was true that the majority of the friends made in high school end up drifting apart. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but Akira had long since made peace with it.

It hadn’t felt like it, but the afternoon passed quickly. Looking at the time, they were running the risk of missing the last train home. To think, only a mere few weeks prior Leblanc was Akira’s home. If they did miss the train, Akira had no issue crashing with Sojiro. However, he figured Yusuke would probably prefer to sleep in his own bed. It had been a stressful few days for the artist, and no doubt he was probably exhausted. Of course Ryuji also had to get home. It seemed like a good time to end the evening.

Giving Futaba a hug good-bye and exchanging quick words with Sojiro, Akira and Yusuke headed out. Ryuji walked to the station with them, but they were headed on different routes. That left Akira alone with Yusuke. Compared to all the company they had prior, it felt a little weird. A little lonely.

They boarded their train. Considering how late it was, the car was relatively empty. They found a couple of seats and sat down. Yusuke had been pretty quiet since leaving Leblanc. Neither of them were the most talkative of people, so it really wasn’t odd. But still...Akira wanted to make sure Yusuke’s mind was at ease. He nudged the blunette softly, offering him a smile.

“Talk about a crazy day, huh? I’m so glad it’s almost over,” Akira mused. Yusuke nodded slowly.

“Indeed…”

Akira hadn’t been expecting an excited response, but it still fell a little flat for his liking. “You feeling okay?”

Yusuke looked down, hands fidgeting a little. “You needn’t worry. I’m just...digesting everything.”

That was fair. Akira closed his eyes and leaned back against the train seat. Opening them back up, he stared out the window across from them.

“If you’re worried about the exhibition, I’m sure you’ll do fine,” Akira said.

“While I do have my concerns about that, I know that with hard work it’ll go smoothly,” Yusuke explained. He bit his lip and clenched his fists. “I’m worried about you.”

Akira could feel his face heating up. He quirked an eyebrow, frowning. “Me? There’s nothing wrong with me, though.” He could feel his heart beating a little faster.

Turning his head to look at Akira, Yusuke sighed. “Sugimura was quite upset with you when you broke up our altercation yesterday.” He shook his head. “I fear what may be in store for you...and all because of me.”

It would be a lie if Akira said he wasn’t worried about that himself. Sugimura’s words echoed in his head quite a few times since the previous day.

_ Next time you’re on duty, you’ll regret this. _

If past events were any indication, no doubt Akira had quite the beating awaiting him the next time Sugimura called him in. However, Akira didn’t want Yusuke to feel at fault for whatever came his way.

“Don’t worry about me Yusuke. I’ll be fine. Sugimura would have to be pretty stupid to incapacitate me. Besided, it’s not your fault he’s a sick asshole,” Akira explained. Yusuke grimaced.

“It  _ is _ my fault. You’re going to be punished because you helped me.”

“So was I supposed to just let Sugimura intimidate you into joining his cause? No fucking way, dude.”

A silence fell between them. Judging by the look on Yusuke’s face, he still didn’t seem convinced. Akira’s expression softened. “I want to keep you safe, Yusuke.”

Akira noticed Yusuke’s cheeks redden. The artist let out what felt like a forced chuckle.

“And that’s all I want for you. It’s strange, but...I feel oddly close to you. And I want nothing more to protect you,” Yusuke said, looking back at Akira. His furrowed brows relaxed, and a gentle smile pulled at the corners of his lips. “This may sound absurd, but I feel like I’ve known you for years. You’re dear to me.”

Akira’s heart was pounding against his chest, and it hurt for Yusuke. What would be a cheesy, cliche comment out of some romcom rang too true for Akira. Maybe it was because he’d spent a good portion of high school pining over the idea of dating the ever elusive, ever handsome Art Twink. That idealized version of Yusuke was far different from the one that was sitting next to Akira on the train at that very moment. Getting to know the real Yusuke, though, Akira had grown to adore him more than he ever thought possible.

The way the dimmed lights in the subway illuminated Yusuke’s face and reflected off his hair...despite the exhaustion present in his eyes…

Akira had never found Yusuke more appealing than in that moment.

Akira moved fast. He didn’t even give a thought to what he was doing, and it was far from intentional. Placing a hand gently on the side of Yusuke’s jaw, Akira leaned up and firmly pressed his lips against Yusuke’s. Yusuke let out a surprised gasp against Akira’s lips, but didn’t protest.

The train felt like it had ceased movement. It took Akira a moment or two before he realized what he was doing. Once it registered in his brain that he had just kissed Yusuke, he quickly pulled away.

Time resumed, and panic ensued. This was the last thing Akira had wanted to do. No, kissing Yusuke in and of itself wasn’t the problem. If anything, he had been holding himself back from doing that for quite some time. He couldn’t pursue Yusuke. He couldn’t date Yusuke. Not while he was wrapped up in the Okumura Foods nonsense. Not when being close to Yusuke would put him in danger. Just being friends with him had already made him a target for Sugimura. There was no way Akira could further put Yusuke in harm’s way.

Neither of them spoke, but the look on Yusuke’s face pleaded for an explanation. Akira couldn’t give him one.

God, Akira just wanted to throw himself in front of the train.

Speaking of, they had arrived at their stop. Akira grabbed his bag and made a beeline for the door. Yusuke followed. The silence between them was excruciating. Akira felt like a damn coward. All he could do was pretend like it didn’t happen and hoped Yusuke didn’t ask questions. Not only that, but Akira  _ prayed _ that this wouldn’t end up ruining their friendship altogether.

It was wishful thinking. Of course neither of them would be able to forget something like this.

Thus it so happened, after a completely silent walk back to their house, Akira went straight to his room and locked the door, his only company being his self pity.

The most damning part was that despite everything, Akira would give anything to kiss Yusuke like that again. Like a kid sneaking a bite of dessert before dinner, Akira had resigned himself to guilty pining. And it felt absolutely awful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha hey hello wow, it's been a while. I'm so sorry for how long it took me to update this story. Never spread yourself too thin, folks, because you will get creative burnout. I was updating this near weekly, doing Inktober, I got invested in a roleplay group with some friends, and I just...yeah, something had to give, and this fanfiction was unfortunately one of the things that did.
> 
> hrrk plus, as i predicted, i sort of wrote myself into a corner lmao i made sugimura too unstoppable and had to do some mental gymnastics to plan ahead so that i can hopefully give this story a happy end.
> 
> But yeah! Uhh I think I'm ready to get back to work on this fic again, though I can't promise weekly updates again (that killed me). I have no idea if anyone even still cares about this story :'D uhh but thank you for patiently waiting for the update!! Hopefully the next one doesn't take 3-4 months lol


End file.
